Crossdressers-Haven.com

Self Removed

Calina,

I are like you.

Hi Calina, nice to meet you!

My hubby, Ed, is also like you! He is just the same dressed enfemme or not...and I am very happy about that. I think I have said elsewhere on this forum, that I would be freaked out if it appeared to me that Ed had two identities. Though I have noticed a few more feminine mannerisms when he's dressed, just about getting used to that!

If we are out shopping and I pick out something femme I think Ed might like, I have no qualms about saying 'do you like this?' For 1...I don't think anybody around would take the slightest bit of notice, they would probably think I was just asking his opinion for something I wanted to wear...2...We don't give a stuff what they think anyhow!

I personally feel a little uncomfortable with the whole notion of CDers referring to their femme side as a third person, (please don't flame me for saying this!) although I am getting used to the femme name idea, seeing as I also use different names for different circumstances (Curly being the name Ed and my close friends call me, but family call me by my much disliked real name)

BTW...I just stick to the 'How to be me guide'...that way I can't go wrong

Curly(SO)

Hi Calina,

Lots of our new members kind of feel like they are a wee bit different that lots of us, but they aren't really. They find this out the more they read. Like you just did.

I don't refer to myself in the 3rd person so it would seem I'm more like ya', than not like ya (in the CDing not changing personality way). I don't do it because there is no change because of the clothes I wear. There are those however, who don't feel the same and talk about their femme side as another person.

This is a good thread.

Beauty

Hmmm,

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling different when dressed. When dressed I do feel a lot different, I feel complete and I guess I feel free, sexy and more confident.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this, I hope not. Obviously I don't change the way I think of people, how I act with people, I am still me but again obviously when dressed as I feel more complete I walk different, I move different etc

Sophie xx

Self Removed

Hi all,

Yes, this is an interesting thread. I don't usually refer to myself in the third person either (nor to my femme self as a separate person) except when there's a risk of confusion if I don't. This can happen, for example, when I'm talking with someone who knows of my crossdressing but has never seen me dressed, say a colleague. I once told a colleague that I'd gone out to a bar for a few drinks with a friend. She asked me, "As yourself?" "Well, of course, as myself," I replied, "who else would I have gone as?" She said, "Well, you know, as your 'other' self... Christina, I meant." After having explained to her that, whether I'm in girl mode or boy mode I'm still always myself, I did admit that there's some merit in making the distinction between the two modes clear--precisely in order to avoid this kind of confusion. As long as people understood that these two "modes" (of being, of expression) have their roots in the same person. Me.

As for personality changes being dependent on what mode I'm in, well, it's not really an issue for me; I tend to be the same in either guise. Being myself is already a tough enough role, I'm not sure I'd want to add on a contrived femininity I didn't really feel.

But I bet you all knew already that Christina would say something like that!

Love,
Me

Until joining this forum, I have never thought of myself as a different person when dressed. As I read the comments, however, I realize how many variants of crossdressing there are. My SO says that when dressed, I am still the same person she loves, but, she admits, I'm better looking as a female. I do feel different however. Especially since coming out to my SO, I find myself feeling more relaxed and at ease with the world.

As an avocation, I play piano - energetically, but badly. Lately I have found that when dressed, I not only play the notes more accurately, but more emotionally - especially Chopin.

In short, I enjoy myself more as Willy.

Willy

Playing an Étude in silk, eh Willy? I can totally see that!

Love,
CJ

I feel that Virginia is part of me all the time. I see all things with a bit more empathy now that she has become and when Virginia is dressed, she is a lady and the mannerisms manifest themselves. How many people are we? Virginia, me "en drab", transitional moi. To use the new term that Marda taught me: "Omnidirectional conceptionalization." I think Virginia understands that she can not nor will she be allowed to "take-over" and she seems quite content to serve in that roll. However as one of our sisters point out, perhaps, in my case Virginia is in total control and only lets my "en drab" think it has control!
Anyway I am enjoying my "Magical Mystery Tour" so Rock On and Girl Power!!!!
Love,
Virginia

Calina_Leigh wrote:I have seen people described as being like a completely different person. I was just wondering if this was something I should work on doing. Having an alternate me that is.

Hmm, I think you should just be you.

Sophie xx

Virginia wrote:However as one of our sisters point out, perhaps, in my case Virginia is in total control and only lets my "en drab" think it has control!
Anyway I am enjoying my "Magical Mystery Tour" so Rock On and Girl Power!!!!

You know what, I think that's more like it.

I think the femme girl does control us more, me anyways, that's why I don't feel complete till I'm dressed. You know I've actually put a pic up on the wall of Sophie in my room, so even when not dressed Sophie is with me lol

In a strange way seeing that picture just gives me a great sense of togetherness when not dressed. Just I have to remember to take it down whenever someone comes over lol

Sophie xx

Generally the better qualities of my personality show when I'm dressed , I feel like a re-born girl with no hang-ups about my past .
I am a smiling , funloving and caring girl .

Back in male mode -
I have a big chip on my shoulder about my past , at times the worlds against me, I'm arrogant and often grumpy and dont mix in well with the community
The smile is restricted to humorous situations only.

I'm one person but a much better person when I'm in tune with myself.

Hi Calina,

That's just it. You hit the nail right on the head. The beauty of who we are is that there is no official "rule book" or "formula" that one has to follow in order to express oneself theu CDing and to just be happy. Sadly, not everyone in the TG community feels this way. There will always be one or two who feel that "if you're not doing this or wearing that, then you're not a "true CD". Some folks take their dressing a little too seriously. My feeling is - if it can't be fun, then why dress at all?

As for my personality as Lorna versus my personality as Rick, some friends of mine will still maintain that I am much more perky, upbeat, and sweeter as Lorna than I am as Rick. And for some odd reason I tend to feel more relaxed and at ease when out as Lorna than as Rick, hence I meet more women as Lorna. Plus NY has some very open-minded women!

As for the code words when out shopping en drab with a female friend, I will often say "Oh, this would look great on Lorna!" I speak of myself in the third person quite often. But aside from that I am currently working on taking all of Lorna's positive qualities and incorporating them into myself en drab.

As long as you're true to yourself you will enjoy this wonderful gift we've been given to its fullest.