Hi girls,
There is a continuing theme that just never seems to end. Namely, bounderies!!!!. It is not a big secret for those of you who know me that I am entirely against bounderies.
It is my beleif, and I admit I may be wrong about this, that inherently all crossdressers either have low self esteem, or have suffered from it in the past. For this reason we either have false fronts we project to convince people we like ourselves or we knowing accept being dominated by others.
In my own experience, it was a combination of both. For this reason it allowed my ex-wife to control me. Because of my low self esteem, I felt I could not do any better than someone who did not accept me. I lived in continual fear that my marriage would end. I placed a value on the marriage that really did not exist, because my fear of being exposed.
I could not tell my then spouse that I hated my life, that I hated myself for not having the testicular fortitude to be the person I really was. But mostly becsause I did not have the courage to stand up to her. I would tell her and myself how much I loved her so I could justify to myself, selling myself out.
But looking back now, the love was gone many years ago. She had me hostage, and we both knew it. She could out me and cost me my business, my friends, my relationship with my brother, and even my kids and she threatened to do just that on many occaisions. Any time she wanted to win an argument, she could just say "perhaps your brother would like to know that you wear womens panties?".
This immediately ended the argument, I was too afraid to provoke her further. Even the slightest threat, as most of you are well aware, can be most frightening. And with these either real, veiled threats or even just knowing that if you split up for any reason, they will out you, allows the SO to place restrictions on the behavior of the CDer, that he would not have to agree to if he had self esteem and and did not have to worry about her actions.
I have been down this road, and I recognize it in the posts I read here day in and day out. I read a lot of "I love my wife", "I love my fiancee", "I love my girlfriend" "[and for this reason I am willing to compromise the person I really am.]"
I read how the Cder should agree to all these bounderies and rules set by his SO's unwillingness to accept who he truely is and I can not beleive that this is how it should be. I reject this entire philosophy out of hand.
Now, before everyone jumps to tell me how hypicritical this is, I also reject the notion that the CDer should make every effort to act feminine while "en femme". I don't think the Cder should try to change his voice, wear wigs, wear breastforms, wear makeup, wear dresses, wear panties, walk a certain way or anything else to be a "true crossdresser". Women don't, so why should the crossdresser? All women are different, and in my opinion, so are crossdressers. Not "all" men, women, or crossdressers act any certain way.
It is my beleif that bounderies are totally hipocrital on the part of the SO. One of the things I used to hear was "I want to be the woman in the [relationship]". But women have taken every item of male clothing, and every job that used to be associated with maleness, and claimed it as thier own.
I think it is time to end all this ridiculas behavior and say to the world, we are crossdressers, we will not hide, we will not live in shame put on us by society, or our SO's. The behavior of bounderies can not be our end game. It will only continue to lead us down the path of shame, guilt, and self loathing.
In the end, it's not about who is wearing the dress in the family, but who is wearing the pants.
Love always,
Elizabeth
Self esteem, Bounderies, and who really wears the pants.
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
-
Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
-
Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
I guess what you mean is boundaries about crossdressing, not personal boundaries in general, which we all have and probably are incapable of not having.
I guess it comes down to what is important. There are some things I will not compromise on. CDing is not one of them.
CDing does not define me. There are other things which do to an extent define me although there is something of me that can not be defined by external.
It sounds like trust was a real big issue. Somehow a couple who were presumably in love at one time got to the sorry state of blackmail. Since this can be a very real issue for us in a number of venues how to avoid it is a real good question.
On to the last comment about who wears the pants in the family. Hopefully it is not so clearcut as who has the male authority. These things are supposed to be shared although often the power in a relationship is not shared equally either. And that is another question and a very big one which may or may not involve gender.
Elizabeth I think it is a great post even though I seem to be disagreeing with you. These are important issues
Thanks
Andrea
I guess it comes down to what is important. There are some things I will not compromise on. CDing is not one of them.
CDing does not define me. There are other things which do to an extent define me although there is something of me that can not be defined by external.
It sounds like trust was a real big issue. Somehow a couple who were presumably in love at one time got to the sorry state of blackmail. Since this can be a very real issue for us in a number of venues how to avoid it is a real good question.
On to the last comment about who wears the pants in the family. Hopefully it is not so clearcut as who has the male authority. These things are supposed to be shared although often the power in a relationship is not shared equally either. And that is another question and a very big one which may or may not involve gender.
Elizabeth I think it is a great post even though I seem to be disagreeing with you. These are important issues
Thanks
Andrea
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
Hi Elizabeth,
Great post hon: What I have to say here may surprise you somewhat, as I am on record here as being in support of your views on this subject. And I think I am, but perhaps not in quit the way it may have appeared to be.
So here goes:
• Boundaries are necessary.
• But boundaries are not the end all.
• Boundaries should not be viewed as an acceptable finale solution.
• Boundaries are useful in assisting a person in reaching a higher level of maturity.
• Boundaries will always be required for certain individuals.
• There are boundaries in life that prevent one from moving beyond where they are presently at.
Boundaries are necessary for at least two different reasons.
1. There are people in life that it is not wise to be associated with, who do not care about humanity, and are out to destroy others. I have erected a boundary (a brick wall) that those kinds of people will not penetrate.
2. Boundaries are necessary for those insecure folk that we will always have among our midst. For them a boundary is a closet.
But boundaries are not the end all.
A boundary can be helpful when it is used to protect a person until they are able to move beyond it, and progress to a place where they feel safe with out the need for a boundary. But as long they are in need of a boundary it needs to be occasionally challenged.
Boundaries should not be viewed as an acceptable finale solution.
A boundary is a closet and a closet becomes a stumbling block that keeps you contained.
Boundaries are useful in assisting a person in reaching a higher level of maturity.
A boundary can become a healthy tool when it is used as a mechanism to enable one to move up to a higher level of maturity. But in order for that to happen it needs to be seen in that light.
Boundaries will always be required for certain individuals.
There will always be those who are unable to move beyond a certain level. And for those boundaries will always be necessary, but their maturity will be hindered as a result.
There are boundaries in life that prevent one from moving beyond where they are presently at.
The level of maturity one is at determines the number of boundaries one needs to have. The lower the maturity levels the more doors one will find that are inaccessible.
I have been involved in relationships where the other person’s insecurity (boundaries) prevented me of the opportunity of showing my respect and love for that person. Their insecurity that created the need for a boundary, in fact became a prison for them.
Love Darlene.
Great post hon: What I have to say here may surprise you somewhat, as I am on record here as being in support of your views on this subject. And I think I am, but perhaps not in quit the way it may have appeared to be.
So here goes:
• Boundaries are necessary.
• But boundaries are not the end all.
• Boundaries should not be viewed as an acceptable finale solution.
• Boundaries are useful in assisting a person in reaching a higher level of maturity.
• Boundaries will always be required for certain individuals.
• There are boundaries in life that prevent one from moving beyond where they are presently at.
Boundaries are necessary for at least two different reasons.
1. There are people in life that it is not wise to be associated with, who do not care about humanity, and are out to destroy others. I have erected a boundary (a brick wall) that those kinds of people will not penetrate.
2. Boundaries are necessary for those insecure folk that we will always have among our midst. For them a boundary is a closet.
But boundaries are not the end all.
A boundary can be helpful when it is used to protect a person until they are able to move beyond it, and progress to a place where they feel safe with out the need for a boundary. But as long they are in need of a boundary it needs to be occasionally challenged.
Boundaries should not be viewed as an acceptable finale solution.
A boundary is a closet and a closet becomes a stumbling block that keeps you contained.
Boundaries are useful in assisting a person in reaching a higher level of maturity.
A boundary can become a healthy tool when it is used as a mechanism to enable one to move up to a higher level of maturity. But in order for that to happen it needs to be seen in that light.
Boundaries will always be required for certain individuals.
There will always be those who are unable to move beyond a certain level. And for those boundaries will always be necessary, but their maturity will be hindered as a result.
There are boundaries in life that prevent one from moving beyond where they are presently at.
The level of maturity one is at determines the number of boundaries one needs to have. The lower the maturity levels the more doors one will find that are inaccessible.
I have been involved in relationships where the other person’s insecurity (boundaries) prevented me of the opportunity of showing my respect and love for that person. Their insecurity that created the need for a boundary, in fact became a prison for them.
Love Darlene.
-
Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
-
Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hi Elizabeth,
I don't like boundaries either. In my marriage the only boundary I have right now is that I can't transition, but that's ok cause I don't wanna.
I think it's totally fair to have boundaries in a relationship where a CD'r has kept this hidden from his SO. Boundaries seem to be a very good medium ground for that situation. I think it's only fair.
Your ex using the blackmail thing is the first time I've ever heard of that happening. So she was a bit of a rare breed their. That's not a boundary that was just plain gross.
Thanks for letting us know how you feel. It's good to see you posting again.
Beauty
I don't like boundaries either. In my marriage the only boundary I have right now is that I can't transition, but that's ok cause I don't wanna.
I think it's totally fair to have boundaries in a relationship where a CD'r has kept this hidden from his SO. Boundaries seem to be a very good medium ground for that situation. I think it's only fair.
Your ex using the blackmail thing is the first time I've ever heard of that happening. So she was a bit of a rare breed their. That's not a boundary that was just plain gross.
Thanks for letting us know how you feel.
It's good to see you posting again. Beauty
-
Oregon (SO)
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2003 12:27 pm
- Location: Canada
oh dear Liz,
hmmm i don't want to stir a hornets nest,but i will anyway. your post certainly does have alot of issues i do agree with and many which i do not. i don't want to do any point for point thread as truly i don't have the time.
but i will say this in defense of boundaries and you can call me sexist or what ever, but some men have no concept of 'enough'. some men don't know when to say when. some men have no thought or care how their actions affect those they profess to love. i am not even talking mere day to day to week to week cding.
i think that boundaires are necesary for alot of guys because with no one there to draw that invisble line god only knows what kind of harm some men would get themsevles into.
kathy in canada
hmmm i don't want to stir a hornets nest,but i will anyway. your post certainly does have alot of issues i do agree with and many which i do not. i don't want to do any point for point thread as truly i don't have the time.
but i will say this in defense of boundaries and you can call me sexist or what ever, but some men have no concept of 'enough'. some men don't know when to say when. some men have no thought or care how their actions affect those they profess to love. i am not even talking mere day to day to week to week cding.
i think that boundaires are necesary for alot of guys because with no one there to draw that invisble line god only knows what kind of harm some men would get themsevles into.
kathy in canada
-
CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Hmmm... boundaries again. Like a black dress, it's a subject that never goes out of style.
There are both social and psychological boundaries. Both have this in common: "my freedom (to be, to act) ends where it meets another's." Well, no, it doesn't really end... it just needs to be negotiated, is all. This negotiation (one that is really an ongoing, daily renegotiation) is a process that doesn't tolerate very well any kind of categorical absolutes.
Elizabeth, although I've always agreed with much of what you say, I still think that it's as much a form of blackmail to say to our spouse, "love me as I am... or else [insert veiled threat here]," as it is for your spouse to say to you "do as I want... or else I'll tell the boss you wear panties." The only difference is that, in the latter case, the threat is explicit.
Being flexible in our relationships with other human beings is not a failing. And it's certainly not a sign that we have a low self-esteem. In fact, it's almost the opposite; having a healthy self-esteem enables us to feel secure in who we are enough that we're willing to give in a little and not see every perceived assault on our ego as being a direct threat to our sense of identity.
Blackmail, of course, is another issue. It's never permissible. The moment someone blackmails you, it's time to get out (out of the relationship, out of town, and out of the closet, if need be). This kind of emotional extortion harms everyone involved and no purpose can be had in remaining subject to it. A blackmailer preys on fear (fear of exposure, for instance). I know you know this, Elizabeth. You've decided to start living your own life without fear and it's brought you wonderful results; maybe you realized that what you (thought you) had to lose weighed far less in the balance than all that you had to gain by revealing your true self to the world. But, first, not everyone realizes this in their own lives and, second, not everyone is in the exact same set of circumstances you were even just a year ago, anyway.
Again, Joseph Campbell's life motto: "Follow your bliss." You just need to understand that one person's bliss can be another's horror (or waste of time). And this includes a spouse unwilling (or, usually, unable) to accept that her man wants to present as a woman (or even just wants to wear a pair of panties).
As usual, Elizabeth, you post stuff that makes the brain-cogs creak and groan in a most pleasant way. Thanks!
Love,
CJ
Hmmm... boundaries again. Like a black dress, it's a subject that never goes out of style.
There are both social and psychological boundaries. Both have this in common: "my freedom (to be, to act) ends where it meets another's." Well, no, it doesn't really end... it just needs to be negotiated, is all. This negotiation (one that is really an ongoing, daily renegotiation) is a process that doesn't tolerate very well any kind of categorical absolutes.
Elizabeth, although I've always agreed with much of what you say, I still think that it's as much a form of blackmail to say to our spouse, "love me as I am... or else [insert veiled threat here]," as it is for your spouse to say to you "do as I want... or else I'll tell the boss you wear panties." The only difference is that, in the latter case, the threat is explicit.
Being flexible in our relationships with other human beings is not a failing. And it's certainly not a sign that we have a low self-esteem. In fact, it's almost the opposite; having a healthy self-esteem enables us to feel secure in who we are enough that we're willing to give in a little and not see every perceived assault on our ego as being a direct threat to our sense of identity.
Blackmail, of course, is another issue. It's never permissible. The moment someone blackmails you, it's time to get out (out of the relationship, out of town, and out of the closet, if need be). This kind of emotional extortion harms everyone involved and no purpose can be had in remaining subject to it. A blackmailer preys on fear (fear of exposure, for instance). I know you know this, Elizabeth. You've decided to start living your own life without fear and it's brought you wonderful results; maybe you realized that what you (thought you) had to lose weighed far less in the balance than all that you had to gain by revealing your true self to the world. But, first, not everyone realizes this in their own lives and, second, not everyone is in the exact same set of circumstances you were even just a year ago, anyway.
Again, Joseph Campbell's life motto: "Follow your bliss." You just need to understand that one person's bliss can be another's horror (or waste of time). And this includes a spouse unwilling (or, usually, unable) to accept that her man wants to present as a woman (or even just wants to wear a pair of panties).
As usual, Elizabeth, you post stuff that makes the brain-cogs creak and groan in a most pleasant way. Thanks!
Love,
CJ
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
Hey Beauty,I think it's totally fair to have boundaries in a relationship where a CD'r has kept this hidden from his SO. Boundaries seem to be a very good medium ground for that situation. I think it's only fair.
Now it is my turn to ask you for clarification. I am wondering what you are saying, by the above statement?
• Are you saying boundaries are the price one pays for keeping the secret?
• Do you think that they are locked into that for as long as the relationship continues?
• If you think they are please explain?
• If not please explain?
Love Darlene.
-
Merinda
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 959
- Joined: Fri May 28, 2004 11:07 pm
- Location: Melbourne Australia
on the Merinda level chart I have printed a boundary at level 6 , basicly saying that I will never go above that level.
Last edited by Merinda on Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Merinda
-
Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hey Darlene,Darlene wrote: Hey Beauty,
• Are you saying boundaries are the price one pays for keeping the secret?
• Do you think that they are locked into that for as long as the relationship continues?
• If you think they are please explain?
• If not please explain?
Love Darlene.
Love the bullets.
Very easy to read. Sorry about the confusion. I was saying boundaries are a nice negotiator for those who've not told the truth. I'm not sure how long someone will be locked into it or how long.
Beauty
-
Jennifer
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 84
- Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 8:52 am
- Location: British Columbia, Canada
Every relationship is different and what works for one couple does not necessarily work for another. Boundaries are something I never had, I was free to explore this side of me but I always kept in mind that my actions certainly had my wife wondering just how far this would go, a good point that Kathy made. But way back then I had no idea where this was heading, how does any of us know? It seems each of us reaches a point where we want to not have to hide this anymore from family and friends, there is a need to finally come to terms with who were are inside. For those who have passed this "boundary" I applaud you but most of us will never get that far. For me this is a self imposed boundary, aside from comming out to my wife's sister I have pretty much reached a level we are both comfortable with. I say we because if I were to go further it would most definitely affect my wife's relationships with others and I don't believe I have the right to choose that for her. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to just jump in the car nicely dressed and head out as if nothing was out of the ordinary. For us it's not who wears the pants but that they are worn equally and that's pretty much basic for any relationship. Just my view.
Last edited by Jennifer on Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Awesome, absolutely awesome! Brilliant repretee! You girls ROCK!!!! I love this site!!!!!
Now Elizabeth, I have to take you to task and you know where I am coming from, maybe not all of us, but I can speak for me. I have not had any self-esteem issues. As I have said before, I love Virginia, she loves me and nothing will come between us. If you remember, when I came out to my wife (because I absolutely refuse to live in the closet and having the fear of "getting caught" hanging over my head and with the help, understanding and love of my sisters here I accepted my GIFT) remember I asked her not to tell anyone until I felt I had a firmer handle so to speak on this new emerging part of me. She almost immediatley told her mother, who told her father who told her brother, then she told my daughter - did I lose respect for her as my wife and "soul-mate" OH YEAH!!!!! Blackmail - no stupidity - YES. Enough all ready I know!!! But it just pisses me off that she claims all this religious rightesness and then will not listen, learn or discuss this. Thus the current pending divorce at her request!!
Sorry, what was the question??? Oh yes bounderies! I simply deferr to some of the brilliant responses from my (a lot smarter than me) sisters!!!
Do I set bounderies now that I am able to do as I please - yes! I am still an ambasssador for us (militant as I may be perceived) and I will do nothing intentionally to embarrass my sisters, but I will stand up for us in no uncertain terms if necessary! We have a gift and it should be shared AND it should be respected not only by us but also by those we share it with.
Rave on Virginia - no don't - think you have said enough girl
Love to all of you,
Virginia
Now Elizabeth, I have to take you to task and you know where I am coming from, maybe not all of us, but I can speak for me. I have not had any self-esteem issues. As I have said before, I love Virginia, she loves me and nothing will come between us. If you remember, when I came out to my wife (because I absolutely refuse to live in the closet and having the fear of "getting caught" hanging over my head and with the help, understanding and love of my sisters here I accepted my GIFT) remember I asked her not to tell anyone until I felt I had a firmer handle so to speak on this new emerging part of me. She almost immediatley told her mother, who told her father who told her brother, then she told my daughter - did I lose respect for her as my wife and "soul-mate" OH YEAH!!!!! Blackmail - no stupidity - YES. Enough all ready I know!!! But it just pisses me off that she claims all this religious rightesness and then will not listen, learn or discuss this. Thus the current pending divorce at her request!!
Sorry, what was the question??? Oh yes bounderies! I simply deferr to some of the brilliant responses from my (a lot smarter than me) sisters!!!
Do I set bounderies now that I am able to do as I please - yes! I am still an ambasssador for us (militant as I may be perceived) and I will do nothing intentionally to embarrass my sisters, but I will stand up for us in no uncertain terms if necessary! We have a gift and it should be shared AND it should be respected not only by us but also by those we share it with.
Rave on Virginia - no don't - think you have said enough girl
Love to all of you,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
-
Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi girls,
I don['t feel that my point of view is the only one out there. I wrote this thread with the intention of elisiting the views of my fellow sisters here, not because I thought there would be a concensus around my opinion.
I brought it up to try to make those sisters of ours that are struggling with these issues to perhaps bring it to terms before they miss large chunks of their life accepting bounderies imposed by others that they can not live with, as I did.
I truly wish I had not accepted bounderies that I was not capable of living in in 1989 in the secoond year of my marriage, when I slowly outed myself to my ex-wife by just not hiding my things.
Instead I tried to stop, I then did cycle after cycle of purging, promises, dressing, getting caught, fighting, and purging again. In the end, no one was happy. No one got what they wanted.
In my opinion all bounderies must be self imposed, not declared and imposed.through fear or threats. We all have bounderies that we impose on ourselves for a whole host of reasons. Everything from maKing sure we get enough sleep so we can get up for work, to bathing so we are not offensive smelling to others.
There are those CDers and SO's who's relationships are not going to survive this. I guess what I am saying is, dont wait 14 years like me. You are what you are and if your SO is one of the ones who is never going to able to accept this, all the "baby steps" in the world will not help. I know.
I know it is hard to confront this, and I am sure no one wants thier relationship to end, but if is going to end anyway, it is better to find out sooner than later. Imposed bounderies mean that at least one person in the relationship, but usually both, are living a life they are unhappy with.
I thank all of you for your resonses, and indeed found them to be enlighting. I am sure many of you may have more to add, and as CJ said, this subject always seems to be in interesting one.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I don['t feel that my point of view is the only one out there. I wrote this thread with the intention of elisiting the views of my fellow sisters here, not because I thought there would be a concensus around my opinion.
I brought it up to try to make those sisters of ours that are struggling with these issues to perhaps bring it to terms before they miss large chunks of their life accepting bounderies imposed by others that they can not live with, as I did.
I truly wish I had not accepted bounderies that I was not capable of living in in 1989 in the secoond year of my marriage, when I slowly outed myself to my ex-wife by just not hiding my things.
Instead I tried to stop, I then did cycle after cycle of purging, promises, dressing, getting caught, fighting, and purging again. In the end, no one was happy. No one got what they wanted.
In my opinion all bounderies must be self imposed, not declared and imposed.through fear or threats. We all have bounderies that we impose on ourselves for a whole host of reasons. Everything from maKing sure we get enough sleep so we can get up for work, to bathing so we are not offensive smelling to others.
There are those CDers and SO's who's relationships are not going to survive this. I guess what I am saying is, dont wait 14 years like me. You are what you are and if your SO is one of the ones who is never going to able to accept this, all the "baby steps" in the world will not help. I know.
I know it is hard to confront this, and I am sure no one wants thier relationship to end, but if is going to end anyway, it is better to find out sooner than later. Imposed bounderies mean that at least one person in the relationship, but usually both, are living a life they are unhappy with.
I thank all of you for your resonses, and indeed found them to be enlighting. I am sure many of you may have more to add, and as CJ said, this subject always seems to be in interesting one.
Love always,
Elizabeth
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Elizabeth, honey you don't mince words and you speak the truth!!!! You have to be true to yourself because when you look into the mirror that image you see and have to live with ain't gonna go away. What is the adage" God Grant me the courage to change the things I can; the ability to understand the things I can't change and the wisdom to know the difference." I understand what you are getting at. We do have sisters who are struggleing and like you and those of us who are farther along in understanding ourselves we will continue to extend that helping hand because we know how difficult it is. Especially when you have ex-spouses like yours and mine who will give no quarter when is come to understanding our GIFT. I think your right about the non-accepting spouse. It will not get any better. I don't think their minds can be changed once they take the opposing position. Bless their hearts (SO"s) some do try and try very hard, but it just may never happen. They will grow more unhappy and again the old saying: "When momma ain't happy ain't nobody gonna be happy!" Life is to short to be miserable and for those that truly believe in themselves and truly allow their anima to be part of thier lives, it can be such a blessing not only to themselves but to those whose lives they also touch!
I am so proud to call you "SISTER!"
Virginia
I am so proud to call you "SISTER!"
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
-
Merinda
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 959
- Joined: Fri May 28, 2004 11:07 pm
- Location: Melbourne Australia
This is something that I continually work on , as I said , I upgraded my TG LEVEL SCALE and printed off a copy with a dashed black line through it.Elizabeth wrote:
In my opinion all bounderies must be self imposed, not declared and imposed.through fear or threats. We all have bounderies that we impose on ourselves for a whole host of reasons.
Elizabeth
I am a level 5 social dresser and inserted the boundary line between levels 6 & 7 , it would be possible for me to find myself at level 6 ( someone who commonly dresses a lot and can walk out the front door with ease and is known by neighbours and/or friends) .
This is the absolute limit for me personally , I have no interest in being at level 7 ( dressed 24/7 ) or higher catagory .
I have also given myself a boundary with the schoolgirl photo projects , originally it was going to be the end of this year but I extended it to the end of 2007.
I passed again last month but I wont be able to get away with that forever , I predict little change in my appearance within two and a half years .
It may be possible to go longer but I would rather finish my schoolgirl imaging on a " high' , rather than looking totally ridiculous in 10 - 20 years time.
Merinda