The only rational response to getting old...

[CJ]

Hi all,

On my way home last night, I was--as usual--standing at the back of the crowded bus, silently playing a game of cribbage on my cell phone. A couple of minutes into the ride, this nice young woman seated to my right--she was all of maybe 21 or 22 years old--gently tugged at my coat sleeve and, looking up at me, said, "Sir? Would you like a seat?" For a split second, I thought she was joking. Then I saw the earnestness in her face. All of a sudden, the world was filled this deafening whooshing sound, like a cosmic vacuum cleaner; I saw splotches of psychedelic colours flash before my eyes as my field of vision narrowed to a pinpoint somewhere above the girl's left eyebrow; and this silent scream filled my brain: "AAAaaaaaaaaaAAAHHHHH---I'm OLD! I look OLD! Hell, I feel OLD!" I smiled at her and said, "Thanks but, no, I'm fine."

That's it: at age 46, for the first time in my life, I had been offered a seat on a city bus. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or run to the nearest plastic surgeon's office. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little. But (and no offense intended to the forum members here who get senior discounts on Mondays), this offer of a seat so came out of left field for me that it actually flabbergasted me. I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the trip home (and lost my cell game, to boot!).

So, earlier tonight, Roxanne and I were eating sushi at this restaurant downtown. At some point, after the meal and before the bill, finishing off the last few cups of sake, I went outside for a smoke. Standing there, shivering in my little hooded sweater, I saw, across the street, a shop called "The Tattoo Lounge." It was very brightly lit. Looked to have a very modern decor. A few people were mulling about inside inflicting God knows what kind of pain to whomever. The place looked warm and friendly. And very inviting.

I went back inside the sushi place, paid the bill, and, as we were leaving, told Roxanne that I just wanted to take a few moments to scope out the tat place across the street. We wandered in there, Roxanne and I, looking like two refugees from the 20th century, lost in a crowd who'd never heard of Elvis Presley. The receptionist, a gorgeous and exotic-looking young woman with at least three square inches of her natural skin colour still visible, greeted us warmly and very professionally.

"Hi folks! How can I help you tonight?"

"Well," I said, "I've been thinking about it for quite some time now and I'm sort of maybe looking into getting my nipples pierced."

She gave me the basic rundown, the price list; summarily described the procedure. As fate would have it, her "piercer," Erik, was just a few feet away putting his boots on, getting ready to leave for the day. At the possibility of a sale, he popped up right next to us and gave us a more detailed account of what all this involved. I told him that I and two of my colleagues had been thinking about getting our nipples pierced for the last couple of years (which is true) and that I was sort of shopping around. Really, folks, I don't know what got into me. To just cross the street like that and penetrate into this den of body modifyers.

Erik said, "Well, why don't you get the jump on them and do it now, tonight? You'll be able to show off your nip bars to them come spring and maybe provide an incentive." I hesitated, looked over at Roxanne--whose thoughts were hidden behind lips and eyes that expressed nothing else but a ferocious neutrality--looked back at Erik, and said, "Let's go! Lead the way, José!"

Folks, I write these words now with a dull, dual throbbing emanating from two tender places on my chest. I look down and I see these two alien, glistening, arrow-shaped pieces of silver jewelry violating my nipples. Having my nipples pierced was the only rational response to getting old. Well, it certainly seemed that way four hours ago, as I stood outside the sushi restaurant smoking a cigarette. I have to say this, though: the pain certainly does serve to remind me that I'm alive. Regardless of my age.

Love,
CJ

[KimberlyS]

Thank You CJ for the nice vivid view of getting this done. I briefly thought of getting mine done once. But could not see me doing it. And in two years I will try to reflect back on this post. I think I will be holding off now for at at least another 50 years. I think I will just get another set of holes in my ears first.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[Stephanie H]

Senior citizens day is Wednesday. Early Bird specials are everyday before 5pm.
Youth has the strenght but with age comes knowledge.
Gee, it must really hurt. I will utilize my knowledge not to get it done
hh

[DonnaT]

LOL

I went the more sensible route, and had my ears pierced at age 50.

See, you aren't old, 50 was old.

Now, if I can hide this post from my wife . . . she's been threatening to have me get my nipples pierced.

[Jaye]

I'll be 36 on Saturday, and to celebrate, I'm getting my ears pierced. My nipples, on the other hand, aren't very large. There isn't much there to pierce.

[Amelie-Laveau]

You silly cow,,, she was hitting on you.

You must be getting old if you didn't notice that.

[CJ]

Heh. Could be, Amélie. Could be. Those were the exact same words that came out of my GF's mouth when I told her this.

By the way, I'm happy to see you, girl. I missed you.

Love,
CJ

[Absaroka]

I always think it's nice when people go out of their way to offer random kindness to strangers.

I haven't had seats offered to me because of my age (54) but a while ago that nothing will elicit female solicitude like a man with a baby. Other men also become far more helpful.

Absaroka

[Carol Ann]

Oh I don't know about all that, at 69 I don't feel any different just a little weather beaten.

Now I have found that people will open doors for me, give me a 10% discount when we eat out, help me load lumber into my truck and a lot of nice things.
But CJ if it will make you feel better I ain't gona give up my seat on the bus.

[Bob]

The question we've all be wanting to ask:

Did you get a senior citizen's discount on the piercing?

[Lori]

Well it's like this girls....I have been thinking of getting a tattoo but, I'm not into pain.....so I will do it the old fashion way....soak the tattoo in water and press it on the skin and when I get tired of it was it off.......and CJ I bet you tell the doctor you don't like needles...lol

Lori

[Amelie-Laveau]

Hi Lori,, I'm different, I like the pain but hate the tattoo.


Your only old when you make posts like this. And your only old when you let yourself think that your old.

I'm never growing old,,, even though my age number is higher than CJ's

Nice to see you CJ.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies and posts.

Okay, I'll fess up, here: in keeping with my oh! so sweet and somewhat subbie nature, there is, in fact, an element of my personality that, well, doesn't mind the pain--slight to moderate, I'll add!--but I won't go out of my way looking for it.

The piercings I got yesterday caused a, thankfully short-lived, discomfort (as the Doctors call pain) that is quite outside my usual range and well above my usual threshhold. I won't be getting piercings again for a while to come, methinks.

As far as the age thing goes, I hope you good folks realize that, yes, I'll get over the incident. I just found the whole thing, well, momentarily disquieting. I mean, I'm the first one to offer MY seat to others on the bus. To have a game of etiquette turnabout played on me just felt bizarre, is all.

Now, the next step, in two or three weeks' time or so, is to switch the arrow barbells for rings so that I can run a short chain through both. Hmmm... come to think of it, how many bras will I be ruining before I realize that nipple jewelry and fine lace don't mix well?

Live and learn, I say!

Love,
CJ

P.S.
Glad to see you, too, Amélie. You were gone far too long!

[KimberlyS]

You many need to switch to microfiber bras or open cup ones.... LOL

[Caith]

Congratulations on getting your nipples done, CJ.

I did that at The Gauntlet in San Francisco many years ago, and you're right, the pain is intense. Fortunately as you found, the pain goes away in a few days. I regret I had to remove my rings for an entire week while in the hospital three years ago. By the time I returned home, I couldn't get them back in. Even after years of being there the holes were quickly healing closed.