Hello Everyone

[Rony]

Hi Alora, First welcome to the forum

I second to above, and thank you for trying to understand

Ronnie

[Carol Esme]

Hi and welcome Alora, I'm sure my wife would agree, commiserate, whatever. She is accepting of what I do but struggling with the idea of me doing it in public.

[Rhanda]

You will find that there are several reasons for men to want to dress as women. We don't argue about these differences but seek to be helpful to one another. I have never wanted to be considered as a woman but have always envied women that they can do almost anything they want to change their apearance. I love the many styles that they have to chose from and sometimes have a strong urge to use some of those styles. I have worn makeup almost daily since I was in high school. Good makeup is when you can enhance your facial features without calling attention to the makeup itself. I always wear eye makeup and no one has ever said anything about it unless I skip it a day or two. Then someone close to me asks if I am feeling bad.

When I dress in styles that are considered "fem" I feel that I am just trying to look my best and then I do believe that a wig and noticable make up helps to complete the style. (I don't have a wig so I try to find a head cover that hides what would be hair).

Don't call me a woman, I don't want to be considered a woman. I just want to be a beautiful man.

Rhanda

[Paulette]

Hi Alora,

I'm the CD in our little duo, and I've found that as I come to recognize and feel acceptance from my wife (she's always been more accepting of my CD than I have) that dressing becomes less and less important to me. It's now mostly a bedroom thing, though I often underdress and dress around the house.

What I've found is that as CDing becomes less important to me, other varieties of play become more important. I've always felt that I was a male, and I enjoy being one. I enjoy being a dominant but kind and loving male. I cannot stand being manipulated or being manipulative, or anyone being dishonest. However, on occasion I still enjoy being a subdominant but demanding female, and similarly I enjoy it greatly whenever my wife tells me exactly what she wants, and how she wants it.

So my basic helpful hint is that things change, and it's good to roll with it until you actually know if it's something you like or not, rather than make a negative snap judgment.

For those who always knew they were or wanted to be women, it seems there is a quite different path. Your husband may or may not be in that group, or may be somewhere along that spectrum. Speak to your partner about where s/he wants to go. It may be that the mild deceit of "role-playing" was simply the only way s/he could imagine gaining the acceptance of a loved one. It may also be that the deceit was an integral part of it, in which case there's no advice I can give.