Questions for GG/SO Partners

[Eileen (SO)]

Hi Amanda!

Old thread or not, I love questions! When answering questions, we tend to define our own thoughts better. Believe me, I'm still a bit confused about the whole dressing desires without any bi sexual feelings. Conversations with a wider society than just his/her group of friends helps us both as a couple and for his introspective.

First question is hard to answer because it depends on what is going on at the time. When she goes out, it is mostly to meet up with other girls. I know the face so well, she's still my 'him' as 'her' for the evening. We have gone out together for social meetings. If it's a CD event, I'm the supporting wife discussing relationships or such. If the evening is at a main stream restaurant or bar, we are girlfriends, meeting other girlfriends. Honestly, sometimes I forget that I'm talking to guys dressed as women. You just get into the play acting mood and enjoy the evening. At a lesbian bar, I got hit on once. It was both unnerving and flattering at the same time!

For me, it's all play acting, as there is not the emotional need or pleasure that he and friends are experiencing. We do relate to each other differently as two women, we just stand in front of a restaurant waiting for a gentleman to open the door for us. Actually some mannerisms never go away, she tries to open the door for me, but I try to do it first when I can, for her experience.

Which veers into the second question. We treat each other differently. Most of the time, we are not out together. At home dress times must be done fully dressed, however casual. I'm actually more comfortable the times out than at home. Our home is as husband and wife. We have our separate times, but I don't want to see my guy with a bra and forms on without the hair. We have had a 'girls evening' now and then at home. watching a chick flick or catalog shopping. But it has to be with 'her', not part way. There seems to be no difference in personality to any great degree. Except that in that he has been able to express emotions better now.

This cross dressing thing has made us a closer couple. What woman wouldn't want a man that understands feminine moods? Or why we need to shop for clothing, more time to get ready to go out, ect. He's 100% my guy, and I have a girlfriend also.

I hope I answered your questions well enough. How is your SO the same or different from my thoughts?

Eileen

[Amanda M]

Sorry Eileen for taking so long to reply.. A few medical issues that had to be sorted. My wife is - as I think I said - totally supportive.

I'm a bit sort of - if I am going to dress, I am going to do it properly. I may be a 'dude in a dress' but I certainly do my best to avoid looking like one. That goes whether we are going out or if we are at home, smart or casual. My male persona can be a bit of a slob - you know, what I like to describe as designer stubble, which is actually four days beard growth which I have been to lazy to remove!

My wife justs chats to Amanda is if I was an old friend who had just dropped in for a chat, and when we are out, does hold the door for me or order my drinks.

She is close to your view of things as you could possibly imagine. Love her to bits! Hope you two are doing well, and having fun.
Best, Amanda

[Eileen (SO)]

Dear Amanda,

I hope the medical issues are not too serious and all is well as could be.
For thirty years, he wore a beard, I never knew him otherwise. When it turned all grey and I found out that he dresses, the beard came off without regret. He still hates to shave daily and usually has a stubble. When he shaves on a weekend, I know it's time to get dressed.

This time of year is hard for the girls to get together, families come first. With all the Holiday stress, he has more femme time than the hot Summer months. And all the catalogs that we get! Well, mostly her. Over time, I have dropped the catalogs I usually got and the same ones are delivered in her name. Makes it extra fun to get your own mail! We both mail order shop for bras, panties, and pantyhose. All my casual wear comes by mail. He is yet too shy to dress and lady shop in stores, trying on things, kinda scares me too. Not me, scared for him.
So, we sit as two girlfriends and catalog shop for his better clothing, I mean hers. For me, it's all play acting, just a bit of fun. For her, it's dreams come true, dressed and doing 'woman' things.

A few times, we have gone out as a couple of ladies for dinner, I'm as nervous as she is, maybe more. To save her from speaking, I'll order. I think we have been pegged as a lesbian couple, what a compliment for her! I'm not as thrilled about that.

Eileen

[Rikki]

Bravo, Eileen! You have earned your eternal reward.

Rikki

[KimberlyS]

Eileen being nervious is normal. What I found helpped me was to get farther from home. Being farther from home there is little to no possibillity to running into someone you know so you can relax a bit. My attitude when I started going out away from home was it did not matter what they thought as I would never see them again. A smile and a hello can difuse a lot of situations.

Kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Eileen (SO)]

Going out of town doesn't always work. For our Honeymoon, we drove to Florida. Stopping for a meal in Georgia, some long lost cousins of mine greeted us. Awkward, just being married and they didn't know about it and all. Distance is not always safety.

Getting out of town with a CD partner is still stressful. Does she look good enough? I see my mate dressed female. What do others see? And awkward female? A deep voiced, tall, woman? A couple of ladies, or a lesbian couple?
This is the part that is tough to get used to. I want him to look as good a female as possible to avoid embarrassment. As much for him as for me. I didn't ask for this lifestyle, a CD husband. It is what it is. I do enjoy our girlfriend outings. There is a certain kind of intimacy never shared before as when we go out as two women. It's not often, but consider this. If someone saw us, who could I say I was out with? Some friend that all my other friends never heard of?

Eileen

[KimberlyS]

Eileen I agree distance is not always the answer in our mobile world we live in. I have gone halfway across the country to run to people that live a few blocks from me. But distance can be a start to making a person more comfortable.

I agree getting out with a partner is more stress full then getting out by ones self or with other CDers. Do we look good enough and blend in so you do not look like you are with a guy in a dress? How do others see the two of us? Just girl friends or lesbian couple?

A lot of what we CDers go through you have to go through also from the flip side, so just a bit different. Step one you need to be ok with what the two of you are doing between your ears. Is it ok for your hubby to be out and about as a CDer? Is it ok for you and your hubby CDing to be out and about together? A big question it sounds for you is , who is this CDer you are out and about with? Friend? Something else? You need to have this answered in your mind so first you have a comfort factor with who you are out with and second you can just say without a doubt "This is my friend Kimberly" like the two of you always get out together.

IMHO, others reaction of who you are with will come from your comfort of your introduction and just your general attitude and body languge of the two of you together. There are a lot of bigger GG's out there and GG's that have deaper voices, your hubby just happens to be one of them at times and is a friend of yours.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Carol Ann]

Well all I can add to this is I have taken my wife to many a doctor's appt: as Carol Ann and have sat in the waiting room along with everyone else. I to this day say " it's all between your ears" you are what you look and act like.

Oh now don't get me wrong as I know I have been read more then once, but if you act the part nobody will say or do a thing. , trust in yourself

[Eileen (SO)]

Dear Kimberly and Carol Ann,

I totally agree that acting the part is key to passing and fears of discovery is in our own mind. When she goes out with girlfriends, there is a little more stress than any other time a spouse goes out. Not much though, as they go to safe places.
I should add that a few times I went along with. Lots of fun, really. But still at a safe place, mainstream restaurants or bars that the girls are regulars.

It's when the just the two of us go out. Somebody should not recognize her, but will see me. Then facial recognition kicks in and we are both busted.
I am comfortable having some public time with my CD hubby, she's my girlfriend. But as I've said before, it's role playing for me. Emotional fulfillment for her.

A big question it sounds for you is , who is this CDer you are out and about with? Friend? Something else?

She is my very best girlfriend. With something extra special later on.

Eileen

[Davita]

New question for the GGs...

We all know guys and gals can unload quite an assortment of loud and long belches and burps. We also know ladies can let out a little quiet sneak of a burp. How? Is there some magic to the way your mouth, throat and nose are designed? It seems no matter how "dainty" I try to be, mine sound like a little earth quake just off in the distance.

BTW, we know the other end works similarly. Again, is there some magic to it all? Oh I know! Panties are the great muffler! Oops... not for me.

Inquiring girls need to know!

[Eileen (SO)]

Dear Davita,

A lifelong suppression of bodily expressions is a learned art. We do not mark our territory by scent or howls. Less beer and more wine helps the upper end. As for the lower end, women tend to not take pride in clearing out a room.
Instead of Jalapeno flavored chicken wings, try celery in dill dip.
As far I can tell, our digestive tracts are similar. What goes through them is quite different. Extra pepperoni or garlic on a pizza? Someone else pays the price.

There is no magic, only practice.

Eileen

[Davita]

Eileen, OMG I think you have it and I'm doomed. thanks I think

[Gina L.]

Dearest Davita, you have delved into one of life's great mysteries. I can never understand when on the very rare occasion my wife becomes audible it is absolutely hilarious yet when it happens to me it is unforgivable and discusting

[Eileen (SO)]

Ladies, there is much more to passing as female than a nice outfit and a few learned mannerisms. Of course, some things can not be avoided, like how we laugh or my dear friend's really loud sneezes.
Women tend to look at a menu or buffet choices not merely for taste, but for after affects also. I love spicy foods! But not when we are out socializing all night.

Dear Gina,
Your dear wife's rare occasions are rare and probably embarrassing for her. Which makes them hilarious to you. On the other hand, you might clench for the best volume and duration, then stand there with a dumb look on your face and ask an innocent 'What?' Even dogs have sense enough to be embarrassed when they smell.

You're not doomed, Davita. Learn to manage all of nature's calls.

Eileen

[Gina L.]

Hi Eileen, The great mystery is my wife thinks hers are hilarious and mine discusting.