My Beginning

[BrandyB]

I had an aunt when I was a small boy, around 4 years old, Aunt Sandy...She was a stunner, she was married to my father's brother & 10 years younger than him...this was around 1975. She was beautiful, stylish, everything perfect, hair, make-up, jewelry, nails, clothes, shoes...everything, I remember that I not only had a crush on her, I wanted to look like her, I wanted to wear the false eyelashes, wedge heels, nail polish, bell bottom jeans...but, being a boy I felt it was wrong so I pushed those feelings away. The summer before my 13th birthday my parents deiced I was old enough to look after myself durning the summer while they were at work...I had the whole house to myself from 7 am until 5 pm...within a week or so I wandered into my parent's room and looked over my mother's dresser...perfumes, jewelry, make-up, nail polish, etc...I always wanted to paint my toenails, obviously why they are always painted now...I decided on a burgundy polish and went into the bathroom & took my socks off & unscrewed the brush from the bottle and held that brush for what seemed like an eternity over my big toenail...should I do this? No going back now...I did it, at first one or two toes and then take it right off...by the time I was 16 I would leave it on for 2-3 days and then the summer before my senior year I had them polished the entire summer...the neighbors were not too close so I could walk around outside without fear of being seen...there were also experimentations with foundation, blush, lipstick, eyeshadow, etc...Mom's clothes were out of the question as by 14 I was much larger than her! Again I stopped for years, trying to forget, but after I got married the desires returned, so i started secretly trying on my wife's things, polishing my toenails, etc...I even began to venture out to the malls when I had a day off and buy women's garments & shoes that fit me and hide them. During this time I agonized over what she would say if she found out, would she hate me? Tell me to stop? Our boy was just born and this was eating me up...I started to drink heavily as a way to deal with this and one night I walked home on a friday night from the corner bar & told her I have to tell you something. She looked scared to death...and asked me, "Are you having an affair?"...I said no, that's not it at all...I then said I like to wear women's clothing, I like to paint my toenails...I think i'm a crossdresser...she looked at me and said, "That's it?"....Yes, that's it...She then said, "So what? we'll talk in the morning...go to bed"...Wow! Did she understand? Well in the morning through a rum & coke hangover she made breakfast and we talked and she said she liked the idea, that she thought it was kinky and harmless and sounded fun...I told her this is not a phase, this is who i am...that was 10 or 11 years ago...that same day we went shopping and I got some heels, sandals, women's jeans & tops and so did she...we have had fun ever since, usually we make it a point to go shopping together every few months or so and we have a blast, she always tells me I have way better taste and sense of style that her, plus she too is addicted to OPI nail polish now, she said she always wore cheapy wet & wild $1 stuff, now she must have $9 OPI for her fingers and toes! We have alot of fun and I know I am lucky, most wives would not be so open, she has told me, you are a man, but you are my man and you are whatever kind of man you want to be. A little bit of "woman" has made you a better man.

[Leeza]

Enjoyed your post.

I think most of us have been through the feelings part.

Leeza

[BrandyB]

Growing up with our "friend" can be difficult...I knew I had these interests, but also knew I was straight, so I questioned what am I? By the time I was 16 I knew and was okay with it, but very secretative and guarded...Luckily I have an understanding wife and also lucky that I really do not care what people think!
There are times when I get out of my car to walk into a store and I am wearing something feminine and I am a little nervous, what if somebody laughs at me or makes fun of me? I am not afraid of being physically hurt as I can handle myself very well if it came to that, but still the fear of ridicule, usually from men, is there.
My wife told me one time, "I wonder how many men secretly would like to do what you do, but are afraid"...I bet she is right, I bet alot of "normal" men would love to put on a pair of sexy strappy heels with shaved legs or slip on black nylons over red polished toenails, but they are afraid...too bad for them...Like Ricky Nelson said, "You can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself"!

[Absaroka]

Most statistics say 1 or 2% of the male population likes to crossdress. Considering we make up half of a country of 300,000,000 that would mean a couple of million, although of course you need to discount folks under age 5 or so before this seems to begin.

If you go into a Victoria's secret or a sexy lingerie store you will often see men there. They aren't all shopping for friends....

Zari