So, The In's and Out's of seeing a Therapist or Counselor, Psychotherapist, Pchycologist, Psychiatrist, etc.
I searched but did not find a thread specifically dealing with people's experiences about choosing help,
dealing with "walking through their door",
when to pack it up and find another,
coping with treatment alone or with family,
what else?
We can give backgrounds as general or detailed as one is comfortable with.
We can also relate our experiences, feelings, and recommendations.
Jessie's post about insurance and finding a health professional spurred me on to this...thanks Jessie
I first went to a therapist in Austin, Texas back in about 1986. I was beside myself with a broken relationship (which was always a bad one for both of us), and my propensity for crossdressing urges mixed with inappropriate sexual fantasy/exploration.
I was working two jobs, and yet I still choked when the lady told me it was $90/hour!
At the end of our first session in which all my troubles came spilling out, she offered me a 'script for meds. Well, I really didn't feel like she had listened, and I was put-off by her suggestion that I might need drugs.
I never went back.
This made my future forays into help-seeking much more difficult. Oh, I was 26 at the time.
After that I visited with a gentlemen that did hypnosis on me (I felt it was too suggestive and hokey), and ended that after a couple of sessions. By then I was in a relationship with my future wife. She knew of my seeing a therapist, but not really why.
I can't remember how I found either of the last two, although it was probably the old, "start dialing with the A's in the phonebook" method.
I got married and we moved. I went to a University to "better" my self which was failing miserably. I found a school psych-counselor that I spent several semesters with. She was female (
), pretty, close to my age (30-ish) and a very good, compassionate listener. But I felt like I was spinning my wheels there and never reached the real problems/solutions.From there I figured I might have Adult ADD and sought out a Psychiatrist for that. My wife and I knew him because of my Wife's work in the medical field (she's an M.D.). That was okay, until I felt compelled to spill the beans (Yet Again!) about my crossdressing.
First, he didn't seem to hold much stock in Adult ADD, and seemed to go along with the testing grudgingly. Second, he didn't seem to deal with my crossdressing/sexuality issues at all.
I left feeling, ONCE MORE, that I had gone through this GUT-WRENCHING disclosure of everything personal and sacred to me, with a stranger, just to walk away disappointed.
I recently had a year with a gentlemen who used some very unconventional therapy...lots of physical motion, vocalizing, etc.
Now, this is the first time I actually researched into the backgrounds/specialties of all the local mental health professionals. I figured he sounded good. We did alot of work, and I actually feel like I learned something...but I was always uncomfortable with the style of therapy. Not his fault! It just wasn't for me.
So, now here I am on my latest...AND I HOPE LAST...helper. She is a Family/Marriage counselor and she has been the most incredible person to help not only me, but my wife!
We had our last marriage session Wednesday night, now we are on an "as needed" basis. I will continue with her after I go one more time, to someone to test for Adult ADD (next week).
I still have family issues (mother, father, etc.) I want to work on, and this Lady is DYNAMITE! I truly believe I'll be resolving some long, deep-seated issues finally!
So, here's some of my insights (I posted some over in Jessie's thread)
If you can, DON'T OPEN THE PHONEBOOK!
If there is a professional source listing the various therapists and their specialties get that instead and do your homework.
About the phonebook comment...I should have just said don't blindly call from the phonebook.
BTW, sometimes you can find Internet sites that list professionals and background info about them.
Lawyers have, Martindales. I'm not sure about medical folks. I'll check.
Be aware that you might be more comfortable with Male or Female.
SEE MY LAST PARAGRAPH!
ASK, ASK, ASK!
Ask what? Any question that may pop into your head! If you have doubts about what someone is asking you to do...ASK.
Find out their methodology and see if you can find more information outside of their office. Understand the what's, why's and wherefore's of the treatment...or else...ASK!
Be clear on the financial issues. Does this therapist work on a sliding-scale (meaning...adjusted to your income?)? If insurance is a factor (not everyone likes to share this personal info with an insurance company) do you pay at each session, or will they bill?
Can you reach them during off-hours if it's an emergency. What constitutes an emergency and how much help can you expect. They may just talk over the phone, some may meet you in the nearest Emergency Room, etc.
What else?
I do want to add something that is a bit embarassing, but I figure I'm not the only one who has gone through this...
I've wound up having sexual fantasies about two of my therapists...one woman and one man.
The woman was the one at the University. The man was the one with the "different" methodology.
I never told the woman about this, but I did tell the man. He dealt with it in a very professional, caring manner. HE SLAPPED ME AND TOLD ME NOT TO BE SUCH A SLUT!
Just joking! He did deal with it very well, much to my relief.
I just wanted to let folks know that it probably is somewhat common for patients to develop intimate feelings with their health providers.
Just think of it...you are exposing an extremely painful, embarassing experience to someone who provides you with total compassion and acceptance like you've never experienced before.
Plus...they look good too!
This is where you can really tell a professional.
If they handle it correctly (morally, professionally and legally), they will continue to show you that same amount of compassion and acceptance. But, they will help you understand that your impression of your feelings are not appropriate. They will not say something like, "Well, okay, let's get this over with...and just this once, right?".
They may also alter their methods if they feel it necessary to keep any misconceptions from happening again.
Well, your turn.
Can anyone else offer some thoughts, experiences, suggestions?
Thanks
From the guy who can't keep his mouth shut!
