Caught me another one on this board...

[CJ]

Hi all,

Yep. I caught me another one on this board... another expression, that is. I'm a colloquialism junkie and Lori A gave me a treat--two treats in the same thread, actually. Listen to these:

-- My wife prepares a Thanksgiving turkey that'll make a puppy pull a freight train.

-- In my house, you hobble in, gobble up, and wobble out.

I love 'em! Thanks so much, Lori.

I was wondering; what are some of the popular expressions other people use in their own, ah, neck of the woods? (One of my all-time favorites is from the pen of Stephen King: "More nervous than a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.")

A few from Montreal (translated from the original French):

-- "He's struggling like a devil in a font of holy water."

-- "He's passing gas above the hole." (He's being snobbish.)

-- "She's talking through her hat." (She's talking nonsense.--the implication being she has a small brain in a small head)

-- "I'll do it come triple Thursday week" (I'll never do it.)

-- "Do you give the cat your tongue?" (Do you give up trying to guess?)

-- "Don't fret the hair on your legs." (Stop worrying so much.)

Let's hear some more, folks. I'm curious to see how things are expressed where you live... be it your home, your town or city, your county, or your state.

Love,
CJ

[Curly(SO)]

Most of these are self explanatory....

About as much use as a chocolate teapot. My favourite

As rare as rocking horse poo.

Madder than a box of frogs.

He/she is completely hat-stand (bonkers)

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

A sandwich short of a picnic. (Mmm...what's the PC expression.. Not right in the head )

Will think of some more later!

[Terri(SO)]

He's not the sharpest crayon in the box.

[Virginia]

Quick story!

I had a RIO (radar intercept officer = backseater) in the Navy when I flew. He did not curse - imagine that a Navy man that did not curse? Anyway, if he got mad he would say this (and there is evidently no know correct spelling)

orderphilaramicpikealumer = order phil a ramic pike a lumer!

WEll it worked for him and I never forgot it!

Virginia

[DeeDee]

Most of my faves come from an old Chief Pilot I knew (country boy)
"he's slower than a fart in a barrel of oil"
"he's dumber than a box of rocks" (love that one)
"he's got one wheel in the sand"
and Virginia will like this one
"a few planes fell off his carrier deck"
Theres more, but I have to be nice
Hug
DeeDee

[Roberta-Llyan]

How about:


"I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat has been cut!" (Louis L'Amour)

[CJ]

Hi all,



These are great. Thanks! I especially love Curly's Madder than a box of frogs. Of course, I would: I'm French (and I'm trying to imagine what would happen if you put ten of us in a closet and shut the door ).

Love,
CJ

[Amelie-Laveau]

I don't hear anyone from area speak these types of phrases, I only hear stuff like

What's up Homey?

or
I'm going pimping with my Ho's today

or Que Pasa

maybe this is one I heard:

Don't you go where the huskies go,
Don't you eat that yellow snow

[Anita]

I haven't heard this one for awhile, but it went like this:

"He's about as sensitive as a bag of hammers."

[Virginia]

Thought of a couple more:

Ugly as a mud fence!

Dumb as a post!

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to ................. uh, sorry, wrong thread~

Actually heard this line in a bar: "Honey, you're too ugly to talk to me" and no, I was neither the giver nor receiver.

If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his a^^ and make him walk backwards.

Its colder than a witch's (insert body part!)

I'll hit you so hard your ancestors will have bruises!



Moving right along!

Virginia

[SilverLady(SO)]

All good ones, and I'm going to pass them on to others, too!

How about these:

Simple minds, simple pleasures.

It's colder than a well digger's a** in the middle of January.

Stupid is as stupid does.

He/she's as useful as tits on a bull.

A few fries short of a happy meal.

It's like shooting fish in a rain barrel. (It was so easy to do.)



And my all-time favorite, courtesy of Ron White:

You can't fix stupid.


*Big Hugs*

- SL

[Carolynn]

Rarer than Hen's teeth!! (hard to find. Didn't know about some of the Mexican Chickens).

Wow, that (man or woman) got hit in the face twenty times with an ugly stick!!!! (considered exceedingly homely).

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

That boy musta been out to lunch when the good lord handed out brains.

Whew!!! That'll knock ya trotters!!! (referring to anything excessively sweet or ultra chocolatey rich)

Man, he was so sick (diarrea) he needed a cork for his bung hole.

Aw, Put a cork in it, loudmouth.

That Da---n wind is blowin' so hard it's done turned some of the chickens inside out!!!

I don't wanna say the wind is strong, but that north forty I planted yesterday relocated to the south forty!! (dust bowl days)

[Rony]

He/Shes not the sharpest Tack in th Pack.

[DonnaT]

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
The lights are on but no one is home.
Not the brightest star in the sky.
Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
Doesn't have both oars in the water.
Not playing with a full deck.
A Few fries short of a happy meal.
Make like a tree and leave.
If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose.
Dumber'n dirt.
Slow as molasses.
I didn't just fall off a turnip truck.
Cuter than a spotted puppy with a pink ribbon.

[SilverLady(SO)]

"he's slower than a fart in a barrel of oil"

I love it!!

Here's a few more . . .

When the good Lord was handing out brains, he/she thought He said "Trains" and he/she replied, "No thanks, I think I'll walk!"

He doesn't have the sense that God gave a flea. (No common sense.)

I'm not in the bull business (... so I'm not buying your sh*t). (You don't believe their story.)

I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. (^See above.^)

I've seen more horses asses in my life than I've seen horses. (Someone's being a jacka**.)

Don't be a horse's backside.

That's like the pot calling the kettle black. (Referring to double standards.)

Do as I say, not as I do.

You can pick your friends, but not your family.

(I was so surprised...) You could have knocked me over with a feather!

A church school bus driver always used to say "You pot licker!" when the driver of another vehicle did something really stupid, like driving through a red light or fail to stop when the buses red lights were flashing.

Bless your little pea-pickin' heart!


*Hugs*

- SL