Aahhhhhh yes, the benefits of being over 60

[Carolynn]

Perks of being over 60

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9:00 PM and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at
4:00 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

And remember: Never, never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

=

[Ann Stef]

20. You go from the house to the workshop, and forgot what you went in for.

[Carolynn]

21. You go from watching the TV to get something to drink from the fridge, and then can't find the remote; you laid it in the fridge and forgot about it. Nobody saw but you, so don't worry about it.