POLL: Do You Consider CDing a Gift or a Curse?

[Lorna]

Do you consider this phonomenon a gift or a curse?

To answer my own question, I for one consider this one of the greatest gifts that I ever could have been blessed with.

Okay girls, now it's your turn!!!

[Alexandra]

Without a doubt, a gift!

If somebody tries to mess with my prized gift they'll see me turn into one big ""! (Rhythms with "gift")

[Jessie]

Well I do not feel like it is a curse for me. But a gift, I am not sure. I always think of it as just me and nothing else. I just feel more realaxed when I am CDed.

Jessie

[Cindy Michelle]

No doubt, A CURSE. I would love to be 'normal' and not have the urges (desires) I have. I realize many of you have come to grips with who you are and maybe I will someday, but it is not now. I hate being this way, but lo-o-ove the feeling I get when dressed so I will continue.

Sorry to be the exception on this forum. Probably goes along with my conservative republican nature. Flame as you will.

Cindy

[Beauty]

Hi Cindy,

I'm glad you were HONEST!

There were times when I would have voted that it was a curse. Luckily I don't feel that way anymore.

I think you're great for being open about your feelings.

Beauty

[Kyra]

Hey Y'all,
I agree with Julie. There were times when it was a curse to me, but I don't feel that way anymore. Since I've faced facts and come to terms with myself, I think it a blessing. This wasn't something that happened overnight, either. I remember a time when I felt really ashamed, and there were times when I hated myself. None of this was right. Since I have dug deep down and did some real soul searching, I found that I am not a bad person. I am not disgusting or weird. I am not a freak.
Society has branded me and labeled me as something I'm not.
THEY ARE WRONG! :x
I have learned that by expressing this side of myself, I am more at ease with myself. I like "me" again. (There was a time when this wasn't true.) And if the "High and Mighty" believe me to be "one of those" I can smile. I know that their closemindedness allows me to have a better perspective on life.
A blessing, definitely.

Hugs,
Kyra

[Laura]

Hi Cindy Michelle,

I think I can understand how you feel. The urges you have (and I have too) create many difficult problems (my wife is nonaccepting for example) and they are very very real. Having had to deal with these problems throughout my life I know very vividly the thought and feeling that I am "cursed." I would ask you, however, to consider the alternative: that you are beautiful and precious and infinitely worthy the way you are, . I hope I am not being presumptuous, but please try thinking that thought in a quiet moment and see what it does for you.

Love will find a way,

Laura

[Cindy Michelle]

To all who responded to my post, I want to extend a huge thank you!! There is a limited amount of places where we (CD'rs) can openly discuss our feelings and emotions. I really appreciate your conncern and intended help.

I think your responses are consistent with a current post on parsimony (CDDF-?) questioning what the most feminine characteristic is. One of the responses takes you to Tri-ess board, and my take on that post is that the most feminine characterisitc is empathy for others. You clearly display that characterisitc. Thanks again.

Cindy

[Lorna]

No doubt, A CURSE. I would love to be 'normal' and not have the urges (desires) I have. I realize many of you have come to grips with who you are and maybe I will someday, but it is not now. I hate being this way, but lo-o-ove the feeling I get when dressed so I will continue.

Sorry to be the exception on this forum. Probably goes along with my conservative republican nature. Flame as you will.

Cindy

Hi Cindy,

You have a right to feel the way you feel, positive or negative. But I totally agree with what the other girls have said.

I used to think it a curse that I was the only black kid who "acted white" growing up, as I was often told. I grew up on Heavy Metal and New Wave music, wore ripped jeans and Def Leppard T shirts. I did not know how to speak ebonics. To an adult that is of no consequence. But to kids growing up in the 80s, it was considered a grave trespass. The white kids laughed at me. The black kids wanted to beat me up.

It took me years to realize that I need not be ashamed of my personal likes and dislikes, simply because it did not fit into whatever "the norm" was. I eventually realized that this is who I am and just learned to love ME because there is only one me. The same applies to crossdressing.

I really do hope you can overcome your present felings and realize that your urges are in fact nothing to be ashamed of. Crossdressing can be initially frightening to deal with, but once those feelings subside you just might cherish this part of yourself.

It's good to love yourself unconditionally. Because there is only one YOU.

*hugs*

~ Lorna

[Alexandra]

I eventually realized that this is who I am and just learned to love ME because there is only one me.

Yep, I agree with you there . . . there is just something about our society -- an expectation of us to conform to an established set of rules! Ugh!

[Virginia]

With whatever apologizes may be necessary to the Beatles:

ITS A MAGICAL - MYSTERY TOUR

and I love it!!!!!

Deborah

[CJ]

Hmmmm... for me, I'd have to say the urge to crossdress is a mixed blessing. (Then again, so is my tendency to want to "organize" things in my life. ) My desires have forced me to go hunting for my true self in a way that's not truly encouraged in this culture. For that, I'm thankful.

My understanding that society is cursed by its inability to make room for difference is the true blessing that my being a crossdresser has bestowed upon me. That understanding's been a motor for change in my personal life for many years now.

In the end, I consider myself blessed to be who I am, regardless of the role gender variance may have played in this.

So I vote yes, it's a gift.

Love,
CJ

[Lacey Hadley]

Before I understood my cding, I thought it was more of a curse. Now being more mature and understanding tha I am not doing any wrong I see it more as a gift. It's wondrful and also allows the male in me be more sympathetic to me, others esp. gg's.

The only troubles are relationships and the possibilty of maybe trying to raise a family but since I am so openminded and quite liberal and if a true serious relationship was to come she would be aswell I think if and when any kids may come, they would be well adjusted to not think much of it... at least that's how I wish to see these possibilities.

[Bernice]

I voted "other" because it is both. I suppose that is a Cop-Out. Sorry, my brain is tired today. Certainly, CDing was the source of some terribly embarrassing times, and bitter memories. Being "Discovered" by people for whom "passing" was not ever an option: family, close friends, a neighbor, etc.

On the other hand, having overcome my fears and learning to accept my feminine side, I think I am a better person. From here on out, perhaps I can exploit my feminine traits in positive ways- to help make up for some negative aspects of my personality. The pathetic and relentless punster in me wants me to write: "my feminine side is my better half". Sorry.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Stephanie Higgins]

I must say that it is a curse I love this frrling to be en femme but I wish I was a "normal" person (and more specfically girl)