What do you usually do when you crossdress?

[Alizee_Noelle]

You should also consider the possibility that, for some of us, there may be no sexual side of things. As for the others, I don't think that anyone is actually dismissing the "elephant's" presence, it's just that nobody considered opening the subject.

It's a mixed bag of things, while you're able to speak about the feeling that you get when passing, I've never had the opportunity (or the nerve) to go out fully dressed, yet I do find the time to do household stuff. Also, since my girlfiend is acceptant and supporting of my crossdressing, a part of it gets incorporated in our sex play. So, obviously, the type of impulses that each one of us experiences is pretty varied. We should probably open a new thread on this, if anyone else feels like talking about it.

@Cindy Louise: Aaargh, the horror. My girlfriend (GG) does that when typing, and it makes my ears bleed.

[Debra Russell]

Yes ! All of what you said Johanna! I am sitting here wanting to be out in femme today but it dident work out that way - Maybe to marrow.
I like to go out any where there are people and activity, it makes me feel alive. I only dress at home when I am alone and bored. Debbie

[April Rose]

This is an interesting discussion. As so many others have, in my younger days I often experienced the overwhelming feelings of "I Need To Dress I Need To Dress I Need To Dress... OK I'm dressed, Now what do I do?....

This phenomenon, as Johanna so rightly points out,varies from one cross dresser to another. It also seems to exist as a continuum within the life of an individual cross dresser. I think it is useful, if one feels the need to make sense out of all this, to think in terms of the psychological concept of libido. We often hear of people spoken of as having "a strong libido" and most of the time it just means a strong sex drive. They're talking about a lady's man , or a seductress, or an industrious wanker.

But libido is a much broader concept in many schools of psychology. Yes it includes the above, but beyond that, it is a person's embodied creative energy. Beyond the rudiments of sex, being in alignment with this energy makes things happen. It's what makes the painter paint and the poet po. It's what lets an engineer turn her laser-like focus on a problem that, however important for the progress of society, most people might find too boring to think about.

The problems come when one is not in alignment with the libido, that's where feelings of impotence and frustration come in.

It seems to me that, with cross dressers, opposite sex clothing becomes a conduit to that creative energy. That would imply that, for the sake of
one's own personal growth, what one does when cross dressed really does matter.

[Rik]

The 'Elephant' is currently 1 of the things that confuses me most about my cd'ing.

The thought of dressing greatly arrouses me, and the actual dressing also does ofc. This is when I have the desire to dress the most,and usually kinda gets me motivated to do so.
Other times I just feel like playing about with makeup n clothes ect, but if I don't get aroused it doesnt always feel right..I duno how to explain it.

without going into to much detail I use to have very submissive fantasies (forced fem ect) and I wonder, which is stronger for me, the self cd'ing or the fantasy.

I guess its a personal subject, but for me its very current and something I am still seeking answers to.

hope I didnt give tmi here..

[Johanna]

First, I want to to apologize if I offended any of my sisters. I tried to be careful to point out that I was not labeling all CDers as having the same needs. However, I will still maintain that many in our sisterhood are not comfortable discussing the sexual side of our dressing. This string of comments is, at least, an effort to discuss and debate that topic.

All of the comments posted have been great, which tells me that this is a passionate subject. That is all the more reason to continue the discussion. The question of whether this thread should be started as a new topic, or in a different place on the site, is a decision that I am not qualified to make. Perhaps done of my sisteres could advise?

My response to your excellent analysis is that I think it is hard to seperate dressing from sexual identity. If this is the case, how can we seperate sex from from our sexual identities? Isn't it logical to presume that when we want to live as a woman that part of this living involves sex? Obviously, since society is still unwilling to accept transgender lifestyles, we are often forced to find sexual stimulation of our female side in private. Often, this meansw that we masturbate, while fantasizing in our own preferred way. However, the profusion of dating websites for CDers show that an increasing number of members are finding companionship.

I personally am into the sexual transformation fantasy and love to pretend that I am recieving oral sex, while wearing a dress. At some point, I would like to involve my wife in this fantasy, but we have not gotten to that point yet.

I would encourage you to open up, because it helps all of us to acceptour own sexual preferences, without feeling guilty and deviant.

[PhylissH]

For years it was just around the house because at 6'3" in flats I was self conscious about my hieghth, but now I go and do everyday things, shopping, to the movies, out to dinner, etc

[Carol Ann]

Wow,
What a mixed bag we are, in my younger years my wife did and still does love Carol Ann. But as I have stated before Carol is who I wish I was many many a years ago. I dress today because it is a habit and my wife knows it is just me.

Sex at one time was a huge part of our life as my wife always got so turned on she couldn't help herself and I didn't have much to say about it .

Today Carol is just and everyday person in the house hold and we don't make a big deal out of it. As I have said many times I am the luckest girl in the world as my mother loved me and my wife loves me.
All I can say to everyone is "to each their own". and be yourself

[Alizee_Noelle]

Depending on how deeply rooted is the dressing into your life, it may or may not be part of your sexual identity. Personally, dressing goes that far, but I can only assume that there are people over there who do it just because they get a mental kick out of it, or just to scandalize the normals.
Also, it depends on how much you want to live as a woman. Again, personally I'm fond of my "marbles" and, even if the idea of lesbian sex attracts me a little, I would never consider a total transformation. So, even if I'm in a skirt, what hides under it will remain the same.
Now, if you try to place this description into the established ("normal") sexual categories you're in a little bit of a tight spot. Would I be a straight man that crossdresses, or would I be a shemale? I don't formally give a damn about this, but I have been discussing this lately with my girlfriend, from a sociological standpoint.

Speaking about fantasies, I've went to pretty much all of those concerning lingerie, in all the possible configurations. The oral sex in dress one is on my to-do list (lol, I don't actually have one, but I do have my priorities ), but it's been on hold due to lack of dress.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

I agree with the sexual thrill. I fall into deep fantasies about sex as a man when I'm home with my boxers on stuffed. I do feel more urgent arousal.

[Rik]

I agree with the sexual thrill. I fall into deep fantasies about sex as a man when I'm home with my boxers on stuffed. I do feel more urgent arousal.

Its comments like this that make me so glad I joined this forum, just to again realise that other people are going through the exact same thing.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

hahah no problem babe. its nice to know at least some people in the world feel at least similar to me in each aspect of my weirdness LOL.
As of yet I have met exactly zero other GGs who have a sexuality like mine. although when i say sexuality i refer to my orientation, CDing, fetishness and sex drive and nature of libido. All of those in my case are extremely untypically femme and my sexuality as such touches each part of my life. alienating yet i can't imagine the alternative

[Johanna]

Johanna may be adumb brunette, because she cannot understand the meaning of "with my boxers on stuffed." Can someone interpret?

[Rik]

I believe DanteCarrie is refering to creating the 'bulge' us M to F cd'ers try to conceal, and boxers aka boxer shorts, is a term for mens underwear.

[KimberlyS]

Add me to the mixing CDing with everyday tasks and errands. Two summers ago I spent a lot of time running errands for our house remodel going to Home Depot, Menards, Lowes, and other "manly" places in full or part femme. It does have it's perks at time getting some extra help finding things and loading the truck and trailer. At other times get to see what GG's have to go through with SA's talking down to me like I do not know what I am doing and trying to talk me into the wimpy pink tools.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Johanna]

Kimberly,

In your summary of activities, you do not say whether you also like doing feminine things. What do you enjoy the most when dressing? Does your sexuality change at all when dressed? Since you are the moderator, you need to be a leader in opening up to the newer girls.

Also, how have you managed around your voice? Since I do not know your history, I assume you may have the same problem I do, which is having difficulty sounding like the real thing. I know there are tapes etc. I cannot imagine dealing with Menard's Sales Associates in drag. Your may be the most perverted fetish of all.