I'm not sure where this fits...but I'll settle on this section.
As I have explained elsewhere, I am a GG that has discovered that she enjoys dressing her boy and he is taking to it pretty well. So unlike the usual CD model, this is not something he is inclined to do, but something he does just for me.
He will wear my panties in the house often...has worn full bra, panties, a wig and make-up...but seems to get very anxious if I try to put him into an actual outfit. Yesterday when I put him in some make-up he even offered to leave the house (to my surprise!) like that to get dinner and was batting his eyes at everyone.
So what is the issue? I am discovering that I am getting very anxious (or guilty?). I have tried to express it a bit and he doesn't understand why. I am afraid that I have not let on to how powerful and consuming this idea can be at times. It is not constant, but I think about it in passing everyday when I see something cute and somedays I sit around and think about just dressing him up. I feel like I am betraying him, like I am somehow going against the man that loves me if I am seeking to change him constantly into this beautiful other.
Will this lessen? Am I just excited that I just finally have a partner that will go along with me, and one that looks so perfect for it? Or will it just grow as I have the money to indulge myself in buying him things? I know he will go along with me...but it really is about me feeling at peace with my desire. I guess I am still a bit ashamed for him to realize that this is something I want on a fairly regular basis and not just a dress-up once in a while.
Anxiety over Ones' Desires
Moderators: KimberlyS, Eileen (SO)
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Dolores(GG)
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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- Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 2:47 pm
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DonnaT
- Miss Great Goddess
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- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:04 am
- Location: No. Virginia
Will your desire lesson?
If it's a sexual turn on, then I doubt it, at least probably not until your libido lessons.
As for your anxiety about changing him, what are you changing? Is it just his appearance?
Seems he's a tad submissive, and wants what you want. And if this makes him happy, then I don't see a problem.
At least not until, and if, you get to the point of wanting to make it a permanent change. He'll need to be able to live with the change, which would be better discussed with a therapist.
If it's a sexual turn on, then I doubt it, at least probably not until your libido lessons.
As for your anxiety about changing him, what are you changing? Is it just his appearance?
Seems he's a tad submissive, and wants what you want. And if this makes him happy, then I don't see a problem.
At least not until, and if, you get to the point of wanting to make it a permanent change. He'll need to be able to live with the change, which would be better discussed with a therapist.
DonnaT
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DanteCarrie (FTM)
- Miss Platinum Goddess
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you are SO lucky. I am so aroused by the idea of my man in womens clothes but he will never do it as its not his style and hes too lazy. I think you should just smile your head off that your lover goes along with it lucky devil and enjoy the sexy fantasy which i can totally relate to as one of my many fetishes.
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Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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You've probably spent a lot of time controlling these desires and also having them controlled by others unwillingness to participate. Now that seems to be changing. I would think that would make most people anxious. The concern over how far will it go if it can go as far as you want it to would also make a lot of people anxious.
As long as you are respectful of your partners feelings however things should be okay.
Zari
As long as you are respectful of your partners feelings however things should be okay.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Carol Ann
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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Hi Dolores,
First off let me tell you that there is nothing wrong with your desires. When we first got married my wife was so into dressing me all up and going out together she was a lot like you. Now you say your husband is fine with it, well honey take the clue and run with it.
Maybe that is why we had 4 kids pop pop
as that's how turned on she was. So you see there is nothing wrong with you or your feelings.
I will tell you this it makes for a happy marriage as we are going on 46 years.
First off let me tell you that there is nothing wrong with your desires. When we first got married my wife was so into dressing me all up and going out together she was a lot like you. Now you say your husband is fine with it, well honey take the clue and run with it.
Maybe that is why we had 4 kids pop pop
as that's how turned on she was. So you see there is nothing wrong with you or your feelings.I will tell you this it makes for a happy marriage as we are going on 46 years.
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Dolores(GG)
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 137
- Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 2:47 pm
Donna, I don't want a permanent change, so I guess if I take it slow he (and I) will get to a frequency we are both comfortable with. I will always put his comfort first. I lived in relationships that didn't indulge me at all, to have it at all is amazing.
Dante, thanks for reminding me. I think I needed that. Hopefully your man will man up at some point and get some heels on. ;D
Wendae, just a tiny bit submissive...not too gentle...
Absaroka, I think that is very much the issue. I am finding it happening with alot of my desires right now, not just CD'ing. I used to "not have any" and went with whatever my partners wanted. Maybe because I felt mine where not feasible? Suddenly, meeting him was an explosion of possibility. Maybe because he is slightly femme, slightly submissive, an archetype of everything I ever wanted, and also just safe and so understanding. I think your advice is so simple but your right, and I can do that.
Carol Ann, thank you for the reassurance. I think thats just want I have been needing. This forum has been great and I havent been here this long. I think the CD will really be among those things that keep us close. I'm happy your one of those couples that has benefitted from it. 46 years is amazing, congrats! I hope I'm still dressing him up 46 years from now. :D
Dante, thanks for reminding me. I think I needed that. Hopefully your man will man up at some point and get some heels on. ;D
Wendae, just a tiny bit submissive...not too gentle...
Absaroka, I think that is very much the issue. I am finding it happening with alot of my desires right now, not just CD'ing. I used to "not have any" and went with whatever my partners wanted. Maybe because I felt mine where not feasible? Suddenly, meeting him was an explosion of possibility. Maybe because he is slightly femme, slightly submissive, an archetype of everything I ever wanted, and also just safe and so understanding. I think your advice is so simple but your right, and I can do that.
Carol Ann, thank you for the reassurance. I think thats just want I have been needing. This forum has been great and I havent been here this long. I think the CD will really be among those things that keep us close. I'm happy your one of those couples that has benefitted from it. 46 years is amazing, congrats! I hope I'm still dressing him up 46 years from now. :D
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DanteCarrie (FTM)
- Miss Platinum Goddess
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Erica S
- Miss Golden Goddess
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Delores,
I understand it is your desire to dress your husband in women's clothing. Is it your desire to see your husband as a female? If so would he be willing to go all the way and dress the part? From the nails to makeup to forms and all the rest of the clothing? Do you think he is that he indulges you so you can be aroused and that makes him happy? I understand he was apprehensive at first about dressing, more than panties and a bra. How is he doing now? Do you think he would dress with out you asking him? For now I would not worry about it seems innocent enough at this time. Take it for what is now, fun and excitement. I wish the both of you the best and enjoy! Please let us know what happens with this.
Hugs,
Erica
I understand it is your desire to dress your husband in women's clothing. Is it your desire to see your husband as a female? If so would he be willing to go all the way and dress the part? From the nails to makeup to forms and all the rest of the clothing? Do you think he is that he indulges you so you can be aroused and that makes him happy? I understand he was apprehensive at first about dressing, more than panties and a bra. How is he doing now? Do you think he would dress with out you asking him? For now I would not worry about it seems innocent enough at this time. Take it for what is now, fun and excitement. I wish the both of you the best and enjoy! Please let us know what happens with this.
Hugs,
Erica
If the woman inside of you needs to be free, let it happen, and you can soar.
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Dolores(GG)
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 137
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Erica, this is still fairly new. Thus, my anxiety is still fairly fresh and I'm just processing all this. It is a two-fold desire: to see him as female, so beautiful- which then seems to bring the dominant male in me full forth.
He likes it because I do, but he says he also likes the fabrics and how they feel. There is a sensual tactile element there for him.
That apprehensive state is something newfound. I'm reticent to try to put him into anything else because I don't want to make him uncomfortable. For the time being though, undergarments are still very exciting.
I'll keep you guys posted!
He likes it because I do, but he says he also likes the fabrics and how they feel. There is a sensual tactile element there for him.
That apprehensive state is something newfound. I'm reticent to try to put him into anything else because I don't want to make him uncomfortable. For the time being though, undergarments are still very exciting.
I'll keep you guys posted!
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Erica S
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 599
- Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 7:13 am
- Location: Sparks, NV
Dolores, I am attracted to Cross-Dressing by the clothing. It recently started with a silky top that felt good on me and well it has progressed from there. I enjoy wearing all clothing that is feminine. I have made a transformation to be a full cross-dresser. I still am in the closet, but for now it is good enough for me. Right now I a fully Erica and enjoy being her as long as I can. I wish I could be dressed all the time but I have many things that prevent me from doing that. I love the way the clothing, makeup, etc. I hope you talk with your husband and see if he is willing to dress more if that is something you would like.
hugs,
Erica
hugs,
Erica
If the woman inside of you needs to be free, let it happen, and you can soar.
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
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Hi Dolores,
Well as my SO (you may know her as SilverLady our own forum administrator) is fond of saying, she has the best of both worlds!!
I think you are doing this but I will say it anyway, talk to each other! Communicate! Your guy may be what I have heard called "a submissive" but he may still draw the line or wish to draw the line as to how far he will go with this. If he seems happy pleasing you just make sure he is doing it because he also enjoys it. Dressing and going out as just two girls shopping, dining, going to the movies, whatever is a thrill for a while but soon it can become just that two girls going out for whatever reason and that is a good thing.
It is my humble opinion that you may MAY have started rolling a big rock down a mountain and after it reaches a certain point all you can do is get out of the way and watch it. That is why communication is critical. How does he feel about dressing (for) you? Does he feel different when he is dressed. That is beyond the sexual/physical aspect of the situation? A simple yes or no will not suffice as an answer to this. You both need to discuss how you feel and where you think it may lead.
I will stop here, but just remember, we have folks like SL and I and CarolAnn with 40+ years under her belt and others who can say, "been there done that" so that is what we are mainly about here, supporting each other and helping. So as you and your SO continue on what I am fond of calling our "Magical Mystery Tour," please continue to share with us.
Love,
Virginia
Well as my SO (you may know her as SilverLady our own forum administrator) is fond of saying, she has the best of both worlds!!
I think you are doing this but I will say it anyway, talk to each other! Communicate! Your guy may be what I have heard called "a submissive" but he may still draw the line or wish to draw the line as to how far he will go with this. If he seems happy pleasing you just make sure he is doing it because he also enjoys it. Dressing and going out as just two girls shopping, dining, going to the movies, whatever is a thrill for a while but soon it can become just that two girls going out for whatever reason and that is a good thing.
It is my humble opinion that you may MAY have started rolling a big rock down a mountain and after it reaches a certain point all you can do is get out of the way and watch it. That is why communication is critical. How does he feel about dressing (for) you? Does he feel different when he is dressed. That is beyond the sexual/physical aspect of the situation? A simple yes or no will not suffice as an answer to this. You both need to discuss how you feel and where you think it may lead.
I will stop here, but just remember, we have folks like SL and I and CarolAnn with 40+ years under her belt and others who can say, "been there done that" so that is what we are mainly about here, supporting each other and helping. So as you and your SO continue on what I am fond of calling our "Magical Mystery Tour," please continue to share with us.
Love,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
, sweetheart you are a wise old owl -
Dolores(GG)
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 137
- Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 2:47 pm
Thank you Virginia, and yes, communication is the most important word at the end of the day to make this relationship work. If I cant talk to him about something as simple as our desires, the CDing, how could I when it comes to things beyond us and our control?
Carol Ann, wise indeed! So many great ladies on this board!
Carol Ann, wise indeed! So many great ladies on this board!