have missed everyone so much

[Stephenie G]

Hi everyone , hope aleast a few of you remember me .Just thught
id say hi & that you allhave always been on my mind in one way
or another .Some i wondrered if they got their houses done(Kimberly)
others i wandered if since if posted less they hav had less spell checking to do ( Sharon) .

I wondered how the new ottawa girl was doing(Denise ) how my Uk freinds were & ofcouse the west cost girls lol .

As far as my life has go wish i could say all is well , but its been
bumpy very bumpy including my work life . My wife has not changed
her views ( actually i laughed to my self ) when i got a letter saying our
marrige is somewhat better ( because i do whatever she tells me) & i let her spend as much as she wants without asking why or even really
caring anymore .

I work seven days a week to keep the house & the things she seems to
want , but dont see my son much as i was put on afternoons & i work
every weeknd so i miss him alot ,plus he had alot of health issues this
year nothing serios but troubling on top of other stress its been rough.

As far as my fem side have done nothing till about 3weeks ago
was so sad & depressed actaully bought a couple things of fem .
Had very mixed emotions about that felt so natual in seeing me ,
in the clothes & how comfortable i interacted in the store with other
women there too but then felt guilty for it as i promissed ,id never do
it agian .

So lately been feely quite the failure & loser again ,somthing my
parents often told me id never amount to anything ,plus having the
feeling i ll never be the kind of man my wife needs or wants , plus
at work after a year of being there (giving up breaks ,lunches working
almost 5 hrs week fo free) they tell me im not performing to thier satisfaction .

Sorry for the depressing post but needed somewhere to share my
thoguths as i dont really have anyone in my life that doesnt think
im not good enough or doing enough .

On a postive end i hope everyone else is doing well & hope that I
may have time to chat with some of you agian before Christmas.

thanks Stephenie g

[Elizabeth]

Hi Stephanie,

I remember being in the same exact situation as you. I mean it sounds like you are telling my life story. But things changed for me and now I have a very happy life. So don't think things can't change for you, they can. But it won't change on it's own. One has to change it.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Stephanie H]

Stephanie G:
Life does not change without you making the change. You must initiate the change to evolve to the desired result.

[DonnaT]

Welcome back, Stephanie.

I imagine that you have hardly any free time to be active on the internet.

Sorry you are having to work so hard to keep everyone else happy. Hopefully they appreciate it, and don't take you for granted.

Don't feel guilty for slipping up. It's a part of your core identity.

If it gets you out of feeling sad and depressed, and probably the only thing that can right now, can it really be all that bad? You deserve some enjoyment in life.

It doesn't make you a failure by any stretch.

[KimberlyS]

Stephenie is is good to hear from you. The house is mostly done but otherwise things are on the rough side here also. Hope to catch you around some more.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[Stephenie G]

Thanks for all your positive comments , it means a lot to me .Sorry to hear things are rough with you to kimberly . I wish all my sisters a happy Christmas & new Year . Stephenie g

[Virginia]

Hi Stephenie,

Glad you had some time to post!

First as Donna said and you know, "it" is part of you, it is who you are and it ain't gonna go away. It is my considered opinion that you make use of Stephenie! Let her lead you a bit. I can only say from personal experience Virginia pulled my sorry butt out of a "bad way!" This gift and I firmly believe it is a gift, almost like having a second person there with you to support you, empathize with you, love you and lend you a helping hand when you need it. You just have to let "the girl" sort of "do her thing!"

Hope you can continue to post and share with us and you know we are here to support each other. Have a Merry Christmas and keep the shiny side up!

Love,

Virginia

[Absaroka]

I'm sorry you are feeling so discouraged Stephanie.

Hopefully when the economy improves you can get a better job. Some employers seem to have a corporate culture of making their employees feel inadequate no matter what. So do some spouses.

Look at the bright side. From a feminist perspective you're being treated like a woman.

Zari

[Stephenie G]

Hi everyone hope a few of u still remember me your on my thoughs always , summer for me is always the hardest to not be Stephenie .
I so miss my heels , short shorts & minis even miss my wigs which
surprises me some lol . Hope evryone is doing well , not much has change in my life yet but who knows there is alwys hope it will get
better . Just wanted to say hi & xoxoxoxoxox to everyone .stephenie g

[Susan]

my dear Stephenie

I for one have not forgotten you. I miss our chats a lot. I hope the world is treating you better now. Don't be shy with me I am always here if you need a friend.

So good to hear from you again dear.

Please keep in touch

[Leeza]

Stephenie dearest,

I am glad you at least checked back in with us.

I miss you and hope things get a lot better for you in the near furture.

Leeza

[Stephenie G]

Hey Girls how is everyone . I miss our chats too very much Susan & Kimberly too . Ive decided to go back to school to get out of the manufacturing industry . Im very excited about the program im taking. Im taking a Fitness health & nutrition proagram . Working part-time
at my retail job I relized how much I love to meet new people & they tell me all the time they love to see me as I"m always smiling ( which I do no matter how crazy my life is ) So I'm going to be very busy 2 jobs plus school 5 nights a week but on the positve side its only a one year program & stating pay in that field is $20 -$35 dollars hr plus I want a job were I can encourage people to be all they can be . Id be nice to work with like minded people to . Not sure when I'll have time to post again but I miss each & everyone of you . I think of you's often & pray for all in my heart for those who are struggling like me , as we all do ofcourse . I miss my fem side very much & It still hurts at times not being able to express it & I doubt my wife appreciates it in the slightest , nothing except when she gets everything she wants makes her happy , she even started to pick on my Son for not doing things which she is very guilty of doing she only works 3 days still & can hardly believe how nothing gets done around the house . Anyhow enough negative , I taking a step to change my future now & hope all who know me smile when they think of me like I smile thinking of you . Love xxoo Stephenie g

[Anita]

I'm glad to hear about the schooling, Stephenie; that will lead to real change for you. Helping others and encouraging them can have a good effect on you, too. Please don't neglect the girl within for too long, OK?