I just finished reading the thread about husbands going off to CD because of children, etc. I felt I had to stick my nose in! I always have had a big nose!
Kay, there are very many reasons that you could be getting the feelings you are getting. I am certainly not going to go into them all since most of the replies covered so much. Let me say that you seem to have a great bunch of friends here on the forum.
I had often thought of going off on my own to CD. These feelings were brought about when Carolyn (my late SO) seemed to be giving me negative feelings about her acceptance. While she did accept and even support, this support varied at times, perhaps because I was exceeding the amount she could suffer. Finally, I asked her directly if I was causing her anxiety because of my CD'ing and would she prefer I took it elsewhere. She told me absolutely not. I found that her negative reactions, which I of course felt must have had to do with CD, had nothing at all to do with that subject. The fault was mine. I was so sure that I was causing her to be uncomfortable and, actually, she was worried about work or something else and not even thinking about the CD'ing.
All I can say is TALK! Work together to come up with some alternative that you can do together. Many good ideas were given by your friends and I'm sure that if you and your SO talk, you can come up with many others. As I wrote in another post, I have found the more you are involved in his CD'ing, the more control you will have over it and to keep it going in a direction which more closely meets with your comgfort level. I act like this is my idea but I must contribute that to Carolyn.
I do hope that I didn't alienate any CD's who don't agree with my statements. As a disclaimer, these are strictly my own ideas and feelings. I truly enjoyed being dressed much more when I was sharing it with her than I ever did doing it alone. One of my fondest memories is the day she looked at me fully dressed and in makeup and told me I really made a cute girl. I never forgot that. Of course, I was a lot thinner then.
Good luck, Kay. I really am gleaning a lot if information on how an SO feels and some of the points of concern. I wish y'all had been around when I was still sharing my life with another.
