THE OFFICIAL: TG Weather Network

[Anna]

Yep, it was probably wrong type of water...

[Latanya]

i think u gals from england would like this
https://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-as ... 2378_n.jpg

[Paula G]

If it's not raining it's about to.

[Anna]

They say:

when you can see the sea, its going to rain.
When you can't see the sea, its already raining.

Very true right now!

[Anna]

Noah's Ark in Today's Society...

The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole Earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the Earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."

In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark.

Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.

"Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year."

Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud formed and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping.

"Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans.

Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.

Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.

I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls.

However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls.

When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.

Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.

Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!

The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes.

I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft.'

Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.

I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the Earth, Lord?"

"No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has!"

[DonnaT]

DC

Hi: 96°F supposed to get to 100 or 104
Lo: 81°F
Rain: 0.00"
Gust: NNE 11
Heat Index: 96°F supposed to get to 108+
Humidity: 31%
Dew Point: 61°F
Avg Wind: 3 WSW
Pressure: 29.90"

EDIT: only got to 99°F
Hopefully it won't get to the predicted 104°F tomorrow.

[Anna]

Well, I wonder how much rain we can expect tomorrow...?

Forecast Summary
Saturday
After a dry but cloudy start for many, some bright spells will develop but showers will quickly become widespread. These showers will be heavy with a risk of thunder.

Environmental Summary
UV: 4
Pollen: Moderate

Sounds like another wet one!

[Melinda Welsh]

U.K. South coast weather with Melinda reporting for the TGWN.
Persisting down at the moment, heavy showers all through the night , becoming thundery early saturday morning, rain may ease slightly later on saturday but it will remain cloudy. UV - 2, pollution - low , pollen - low.

[Latanya]

TGWN reporter Anya here with the weather for the bronx ny
very hot today with no end in site tomorrow even hotter may break 100 F\
the official weather report
Day Jul 7 Isolated T-Storms 99°FHigh Isolated T-Storms Chance of rain: 30%
Wind: W at 11 mph Humidity: 45% UV Index: 9 - Very High
Sunrise: 5:32 am
Some clouds and possibly an isolated thunderstorm in the afternoon. A few storms may be severe. High 99F. Winds W at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of rain 30%.
Night
Scattered T-Storms
76°Low Scattered T-Storms Chance of rain: 40% Wind: NW at 8 mph
Humidity: 62%UV Index: 0 - Low
Sunset: 8:29 pm
Scattered showers and thunderstorms, especially before midnight. A few storms may be severe. Low 76F. Winds NW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 40%.
stay cool girls but stay fashionably cute if u can
poolside, beach mall shopping plenty of cover and sun block and drink lots of fluids
dont want to girls fainting and being that damsel in distress or maybe u do!

[Anna]

Just looked outside. For the moment at least, its NOT RAINING!

100+deg F is pretty warm. The hottest I've experienced was 44degC/111degF when I was in Cairo, Egypt. Its a bit *phew*!

[Leeza]

Anna, did you say rain?

Leeza

[Paula G]

Anna, if it's not raining that means it is about to

[Anna]

Hi Leeza.

If you send a tanker across, we will gladly give you some of it!

Paula, I can't see the sea, yet its not raining! I suppose it won't be too long before it is.

Anna x

[Bernice]

Here at Bernice's nearest Airport:

Wind N @ 3 mph
Visibility 10.00+ mi
Sky conditions Fair and clear
Temp 105 F
Dewpoint 53 F
RH: 18%
Heat index: 103 F
Barometer: 29.97 inches Hg

or, in short, too bloody hot to do anything!

Hugs,

Bernice

[Melinda Welsh]

Melinda reporting for the TGWN with the U.K. South coast weather.
becoming drier tonight as the clouds move eastwards. Sunday will be a dry , brighter day with some scattered showers later on . UV - 5 , pollution - low ,pollen - low.