Feeling super-new and super-excited

[Betty (SO)]

Heya! My name is Betty and I'm 31! I'm glad to be here since I really find that a supportive community makes life beautiful. My husband came out a couple nights ago that he might be interested in CD and I'm really here to find out as much as possible about making this journey with him as wonderful as possible. We've been married almost 3 years and have an 18 month old son. Just before we had our son we moved back close to his hometown - so things have been difficult for him in really finding out who he is now vs when he left and the like. (He left town years ago a Christian came back doubting and now a practicing magician) I want to be as supportive of him as possible and am really unsure where to go with this info now I have it. (Is it OK for me to suggest we go shopping for cute clothes?) I love him completely and want him to be as comfortable with himself as I am with myself. We are both rather psychologically androgynous, where I found pansexuality and kink - he'd been raised in a conservative household where all sorts of things were frowned upon - so I can really see this as a HUGE step in making him feel more whole. Any suggestions are welcome! I'm just glad that he took this step and was able to tell me that desire, since being the more dominant personality in our relationship, it seems that he's had trouble doing that in the past. Thanks in advance! I'm looking forward to making friends here and such.

[Leeza]

Hi, Betty, and to our home on the internet.

I admire you for wanting to support your husband and get more information. There are a lot of wives and SOs that want to run or block the CD part of them.

You will find a lot of information in here.

[Carly]

Welcome Betty,
Start by reading some of the posts. Most importantly move slowly. The initial excitement may push you farther than you can assimilate if you let it.

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Betty. It sounds like your husband hasn't dressed up yet (or maybe only as child) and has just had the fantasies - I guess because of his background. Like Carly says, take it slow. You've got loads of time - and the whole process of dressing up can bring all sorts of buried conflicts to the surface - guilt about not being man enough, about failing to live up to religious teachings, questions about who just exactly you are, etc...And they can come in a kind of bundle, so that even while you're enjoying the experience, there's all this stuff waiting inside you to tell you how wrong you are.

That might not be the case with your husband; you don't know till you try. But, if he's initiated the discussion about CDing, there's something in him that wants to go on with it. If you just measure your response to that - like ask him what he wants to do rather than suggesting stuff or otherwise taking the lead yourself - then you're in the right space to let the issues deal with themselves at a pace he can handle.

This of course assumes that the CDing doesn't bring up issues and conflicts for you. At the moment it doesn't sound as though it does, but the force behind it can be very strong and you need to be aware of that.

[Mikaela]

WELCOME and enjoy all that this forum has to offer....please also update us as to how things go. Good and bad. Its so important for others here to see how the process plays out. Seeing your story unfold helps answer questions and maybe even instill some confidence that "I can do it too."

[Carol Ann]

Hi Betty and ,
All I can say is you are open mined so go easy on him don't push to hard. Now that being said I have been married for 48 years and have CD from day one and believe it or not my wife was turned on big time. She always told me I am still the same man she married no matter what cloths I am wearing, beside crossdressers make for a happy and good husband

[Ginny Jones]

welcome to the forum Betty! I just wanted to applaud you for being so supportive - coming out to partners so often ends up as a car crash so posts from open minded women in this vein gives us all hope! Bravo!

hugs Ginny x

[Anna]

Hello Betty, welcome to the forum. I admire your open minded approach to all of this.

As others have said, just take it slowly...

Hugs

[Martina H.]

Hi Betty take your time to look through the forum posts, It sounds that you will be a very supportive (SO) to your husband. He may need a little time to get used to how well your takeing his coming out to you.

[Betty (SO)]

I'm pretty kinktastic so when he came out with some of his kinda unpopular/not pretty fetishes (not CD related) when we were first married - he was really unsure how to take my open acceptance and ultimately found that some of those expressions of himself just needed to be told it was OK to feel that way. He didn't ask for me to participate in them - tho I was willing - and that was OK too. Some of it he still has issues with and even with the reassurance feels guilt and shuts it out. I don't want that to happen with this - if it really is a part of him that he wants to explore. I'm really letting him take the lead on how much he wants to talk about it, with me kinda being in the background just trying to be reaffirming. (Which is SOOO hard since I'm the rather dominate personality in our relationship - so giving him that opportunity to lead might be another amazing step for him as well.)

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Betty, and welcome to the Forum!

If your husband is not already a member here, he's more than welcome to join us, too!


- SL

[DonnaT]

Hi Betty, to the forum.

[Sarah Ann]

Hiyas Betty, welcome and hope you enjoy yourself here

[Davita]

Hi Betty,

So is hubby going to join us too? Shhhh kinky doesn't scare some of us. BTW, "Buy him cute clothes?" I'm jealous. As others have said, take your time; it will just go easier and better in the long run. I hope you both enjoy the journey and it makes you that much closer to each other.

[Zeta]

Hi Betty;

I just want to add my words of encouragement to you and your husband, I had a sharing relationship with my wife for a number of years and it was a great pleasure.

We're both in our seventies and she is undergoing some personality change and I've pretty well withdrawn from the pleasure except for feminine and women's underwear.

The openness and honesty required to accomodate his desires or better yet share them may make your relationship closer and even more loving. It did mine.

I wish you both many years of happiness together.

Zeta