Hi from Philly - on a exciting past week...

[Dana L'Amour]

Hi everyone! My name is Dana from Philadelphia, and I hope you don’t mind, as a matter of introduction, I’d like to tell my story... My CDing started in high school, like many, in my mothers wardrobe. Since then, I had been an infrequent CDer only dressing up for annual Mardi Gras parades on our neighborhood block, always loving the experience. But several years had passed since the last parade and my female self remained dormant.

A couple months ago , for reasons I still don't understand, my old interest was reawakened. I pulled out my old dresses from the parades, stuffed socks in my bra and found the old excitement returning. Wanting to expand my wardrobe, I started to visit several Goodwill thrift stores in the region, experiencing the fear and excitement of browsing the womens aisles in the store, trying to figure out my sizes, mustering the courage to try on dresses in their fitting rooms, and the fear of taking them to the register to pay for them.

Determined take my appearance to the next level (ie. get some decent body shaping help), I’ve been busy browsing the online stores and making up a shopping list, but feeling stuck about taking the next step – what are the right sizes for me? If I do buy something online, where would I have it sent? Not home – what would be wife ask? What would my sons (age 24 and 21) start asking questions too? Certainly couldn’t have packages sent to work. Should I get a mailbox? How would I pay for it – I didn’t want my wife to start wondering about a bunch of online purchases. I opened up a separate bank account to avoid questioning eyes. I saw myself starting down a hidden path, which felt both exciting and deceitful at the same time….

Last weekend it was my job to drive to southern VT and pick up my son who was finishing up his first year at college. It’s a six hour drive one way and I debated whether to try and do it in one day or two; fortunately common sense prevailed and I decided to make it a two day trip. Early last week, something clicked and I remembered that one of the online stores I was researching (GB) invited folks to visit their store in Auburn MA. I checked Google maps and found that visiting the store would be a small detour on my trip! I made reservations at a nearby motel, and last Friday made the long drive, enduring Friday afternoon traffic, while fighting to keep my growing excitement in check.

To say that my visit to the store was a transformational experience would be an understatement. I feel overwhelming gratitude to John the owner and my guide - through the process of redefining my appearance. John expertly took me step by step – starting with a bra, adding breast forms (B or C cup?), a black corset (OMG, I now have the curves of a woman!), a padded brief to expand my rear and hips, a silky black dress (OMG – is that me?), high heels (how do you walk in these things?) and the pièce de résistance, the finishing touch, a beautiful wig. I felt reborn, as a woman. Please meet Dana L’Amour, my female me! I feel this renewed passion for life!

Returning home after picking up my son from school – now what? I decided I want to be able to let Dana out and experience the world, beyond the confines of her bedroom, to stretch her wings a little, to connect with other TG/CDers in the region, to see if I could actually pass as a woman - your typical a 6’ 1” 57 year old woman – a stretch but a goal nonetheless.

And so, I decided this week to have “the talk” with my wife Julie. Two nights ago, I spilled the beans - I was open and honest, shared my secrets, my experiences, my evolving feelings towards my new me, empathy toward her and her reaction. Needless to say, she was surprised, overwhelmed, unsure what to make of all this.

We went out to a movie and dinner last night and talked for another couple hours, trying to make sense of this, Julie sharing her concerns – do I / how do I tell my sons? If I go out in the evening and the neighbors see me, what would they say? What would I say to them? How do you make sure you stay safe? These questions and more – why are you doing this? Do you want to become a woman, sometime in the future?

I’ve told her – I don’t have answers to a lot of these questions. I’m not sure where this is all going. I’m not sure if this is just a temporary passing phase, or a new me. I’m making this up - one day at a time.

Sorry to go on so long; thanks for listening! Your thoughts and suggestions would be most appreciated!!!
Hugs and kisses! Love, Dana

[Carla Michelle]

Dana, to the place you want to be. This site is full of warm, caring and knowledgeable people. Honest talks are the key and baby steps.

I've found lots of answers here and have felt like I was on since I got here.

There is also a chat room, scroll down to the bottom of the main index page and you'll see the link to the left of center.

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Dana.

...several years had passed since the last parade and my female self remained dormant.

A couple months ago , for reasons I still don't understand, my old interest was reawakened.

Maybe you give some of the answer when you say:

I felt reborn, as a woman. Please meet Dana L’Amour, my female me! I feel this renewed passion for life!

So when your wife asks:

Do you want to become a woman, sometime in the future?

It's a fair question.

I’ve told her – I don’t have answers to a lot of these questions. I’m not sure where this is all going. I’m not sure if this is just a temporary passing phase, or a new me. I’m making this up - one day at a time.

It's unlikely (IMO) that this is a passing phase. It just feels like you've committed something important to it. Where it goes? Who knows. You have a bit of the pink fog right now and that'll need to clear before you get any sort of perspective.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Dana, and welcome to the forum!


- SL

[Gina]

Dana,

Well.....I had a similar experience about seven years ago. Fun, exciting, and stressful is it not?

Good on you for telling your wife. Get ready for a roller coaster though, and I wish you both the best.

blessings

[Dana L'Amour]

Thanks for your responses and kind words. "pink fog" - I like that term. that does seem to capture a bit of what has been going on.

And Gina - I'm interested in your experiences with your wife if you are married. Have you experienced ups and downs with your wife around CDing? Any lessons learned from those experiences?

[Shirley Anne]

Hi Dana, welcome to the forum.

[Karin]

Hi Dana,
to the forum, It's lovely to meet you!

[Nicole Rose]

Hi Dana to the forum, great intro. Lots of understanding girls here, hope to chat sometime , Nicole

[DonnaT]

Hi Dana, to the forum.

[Dana L'Amour]

Thanks a bunch to you all for your kind words of welcome! I look forward to talking with you in the future and learning from your wise words of wisdom.

[Carol Esme]

Hi Dana. Welcome to the Forum. I'm just back after a bit of a time off. I'm perhaps a bit further down the track than you but a recurring theme in discussions with my wife is me saying "I don't know. I'm just feeling my way a step at a time." Good luck in your journey.

[Dana L'Amour]

Esme
Great to meet you!

[Leeza]

Hi Dana

[Carly]

Welcome Dana and good luck with your wife.