I thought this would be a good topic to talk about since some people have problems in communicating with their partners. Maybe we can help each other a little because I feel this is a very important part of a good relationship.
Sharon(SO)
Communication
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GalicianGirl(SO)
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- Location: Houston, Texas
Communication
How well do you and your partner communicate with each other? Does your partner enjoy talking about CDing issues or are they defensive about it when the subject is brought up? Do they listen or do they like to talk more? Do they lie or are they honest? What works for you and your partner when communicating?
I thought this would be a good topic to talk about since some people have problems in communicating with their partners. Maybe we can help each other a little because I feel this is a very important part of a good relationship.
Sharon(SO)
I thought this would be a good topic to talk about since some people have problems in communicating with their partners. Maybe we can help each other a little because I feel this is a very important part of a good relationship.
Sharon(SO)
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Carol Ann
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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- Location: Southeast Missouri
Hi Sharon,
I guess I am one of the lucky ones as my wife excepts Carol Ann 100%
Yes we talk all the time about crossdressing and related topics. We are like girl friends. I am Carol Ann most of the time and when we talk we each have our say with no screaming or hard feelings. The biggest topic is she saids NO to me going out in public while dressed
not even for a car drive after dark, other then that she lets me do as I please. I find if you are up front and honest with each other things always go better with no hard feeling between one and other. Hugs Carol Ann
I guess I am one of the lucky ones as my wife excepts Carol Ann 100%
Yes we talk all the time about crossdressing and related topics. We are like girl friends. I am Carol Ann most of the time and when we talk we each have our say with no screaming or hard feelings. The biggest topic is she saids NO to me going out in public while dressed
not even for a car drive after dark, other then that she lets me do as I please. I find if you are up front and honest with each other things always go better with no hard feeling between one and other. Hugs Carol Ann-
Kay(SO)
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In the beginning, I would cringe when he brought up the topic of CDing and I would have panic attacks at the mere mention of it. I would find myself praying that he wouldn't. That was a long time ago. Once I walked through the fears I had. And I was able to do that BY our communication. I was able to ask any question I wanted and what's more, I trusted that he was being honest with me. Now we talk about it just like we would any other topic, whenever we want or the mood strikes. It's funny how our ability to talk it all out is the way to my ability to understand, empathize, love and accept this part of our lives. Anyway, I love that we can talk about anything and everything. I'm not sure I would still be with him otherwise. It would have been too difficult. Today I'm grateful for his patience with me. Funny huh?!
Kay (SO)
Kay (SO)
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Kay(SO)
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It took about a year honestly and I did not want to know anything about it at first. We nearly split up over my fears. Things started to change internally for me when I thought about losing him. I became completely committed to our relationship at this point, found compassion for him that I've never known and realized that I loved him and wanted to live the rest of my life with him. (deep stuff). Anyway, once I made that change I slowly started asking questions, experimented with participating and going out with him, all way too scary at first but I managed to walk through the fears I had because it meant more to me to be supportive to him. I was able to get "out of myself" and out of my own selfish BS long enough to really be there for him. Believe it or not, my boundaries have completely changed, we are closer than ever and I'm wildly happy. Now it's me who tries to come up with plans for our outings. I've seen how truly whole he feels when he gets to be himself. I won't be selfish and disallow it and I feel blessed to be able to experience ALL of him. Sorry so winded. I do wish you luck. The point is, I had to WANT to learn, accept and get over myself.
Kay (SO)
Kay (SO)
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Jadeanne
- Miss Ruby Goddess
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- Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 10:19 pm
- Location: Western NY, USA
I feel very fortunate that my wife accepts me as I am. I feel we have been honest with each other during our entire marriage. - 26 years and counting!
We don't keep secrets from each other. The biggest secret she ever kept from me were the planning of a surprise 40th birthday party for me at our house. I was suprised and we all had a great time.
We each have separate places in the house where we store our gifts for each other. I don't snoop because I like being surprised. Since the CD desire returned and I told her, every holiday includes femme gifts for me - panties, clip earrings, nail polish, etc.
A year and a half ago when the CD urge returned, she didn't discourage me, and supported me as I progressed from just lingerie and nightgowns, to the point now that when I dress up, I wear complete outfits, usually a wig, and now sometimes nail polish and once in a while makeup.
We do talk about crossdressing on occasion, and she does go shopping with me (I limit my dressing to in our house). She doesn't go on the internet much, but she knows how to log in and I don't hide my bookmarks from her. I do tell her about some things posted here and on CDDF.
I think we usually communicate pretty well.
Jadeanne
We don't keep secrets from each other. The biggest secret she ever kept from me were the planning of a surprise 40th birthday party for me at our house. I was suprised and we all had a great time.
We each have separate places in the house where we store our gifts for each other. I don't snoop because I like being surprised. Since the CD desire returned and I told her, every holiday includes femme gifts for me - panties, clip earrings, nail polish, etc.
A year and a half ago when the CD urge returned, she didn't discourage me, and supported me as I progressed from just lingerie and nightgowns, to the point now that when I dress up, I wear complete outfits, usually a wig, and now sometimes nail polish and once in a while makeup.
We do talk about crossdressing on occasion, and she does go shopping with me (I limit my dressing to in our house). She doesn't go on the internet much, but she knows how to log in and I don't hide my bookmarks from her. I do tell her about some things posted here and on CDDF.
I think we usually communicate pretty well.
Jadeanne
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GalicianGirl(SO)
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- Location: Houston, Texas
It's great that you are all open and honest with your partners. I'm envious...I think keeping secrets and lying will damage a relationship faster then anything. Good communication is really vital. I feel it should be that way about CDing and everything else.
Shannon and I have been married for almost 15 years now. Communication seems to be one of our biggest problems. When I look back over the years that we've been together we never really could communicate. It's not that I didn't try but Shannon's not one on communication.
We did go to counseling a little over a year ago and that has helped us some but to me I think we have a long way to go. Unforuneately Shannon is not an easy person to talk to. He'd rather hide things and not say anything then cause friction in our relationship. I guess he's been hiding things most of his life that it's become a habit but when does it end?
I know he'll probably get upset with what I am saying but I need to say it ! I'm sure there are others that are having similar problems but are afraid to say anything...
I have been an accepting person towards all this for about 5 years now. I was hopeing by now that we would be communicating a lot better then we have in the past. Most of the time when we do try to communicate, he gets very defensive. Sometimes I just have to give up.
If any of you can offer any advice it would be much appreciated...
Sharon(SO)
Shannon and I have been married for almost 15 years now. Communication seems to be one of our biggest problems. When I look back over the years that we've been together we never really could communicate. It's not that I didn't try but Shannon's not one on communication.
We did go to counseling a little over a year ago and that has helped us some but to me I think we have a long way to go. Unforuneately Shannon is not an easy person to talk to. He'd rather hide things and not say anything then cause friction in our relationship. I guess he's been hiding things most of his life that it's become a habit but when does it end?
I know he'll probably get upset with what I am saying but I need to say it ! I'm sure there are others that are having similar problems but are afraid to say anything...
I have been an accepting person towards all this for about 5 years now. I was hopeing by now that we would be communicating a lot better then we have in the past. Most of the time when we do try to communicate, he gets very defensive. Sometimes I just have to give up.
If any of you can offer any advice it would be much appreciated...
Sharon(SO)
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Tammy(SO)
- Miss Silver Goddess
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- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 8:26 am
Ou rcommunication is pretty much there. But I know as we have been together longer, it is becoming easier to be completely honest.
We are just becoming more honest with eah other about the true nature of it. In the begning we kind of jsut let it be just a role playing thing and didn;t talk about the true crossdressing side of it. The communications is there, but the we are stil pretty much figruing it all is whatis keeping some talks from happening. I am sure they wil come with time.
We are just becoming more honest with eah other about the true nature of it. In the begning we kind of jsut let it be just a role playing thing and didn;t talk about the true crossdressing side of it. The communications is there, but the we are stil pretty much figruing it all is whatis keeping some talks from happening. I am sure they wil come with time.
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LeftyRainbow(SO)
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Hi Sharon,
In the begining I thought our communication was great but really we each were hearing what we wanted to hear about the subject.
Now, years later we are still discovering things about how each of us feels in regards to different aspects of the dressing and we are shattering the myths that both of us created for our own comfort levels.
I've recently decided to finally take the plunge to speak to a therapist and hope that it will help me with accepting what I have (and I have plenty of wonderful things in my sweetie
) and let go of the fantasies of what I thought I had or I wanted the relationship to turn into. Communication is very important and I'm glad that my Sweetie and I are working on it.
Lefty
In the begining I thought our communication was great but really we each were hearing what we wanted to hear about the subject.
Now, years later we are still discovering things about how each of us feels in regards to different aspects of the dressing and we are shattering the myths that both of us created for our own comfort levels.
I've recently decided to finally take the plunge to speak to a therapist and hope that it will help me with accepting what I have (and I have plenty of wonderful things in my sweetie
) and let go of the fantasies of what I thought I had or I wanted the relationship to turn into. Communication is very important and I'm glad that my Sweetie and I are working on it.Lefty
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Beauty
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LeftyRainbow(SO)
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Josey
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- Location: North Central Florida
Hi Y'all,
Wow, are there some really thought provoking posts on here today. Sharon, thanks for starting this one. It made me go back over some very pleasant memories.
My wife and I started our relationship with no talk of CD'ing. I was quitting so it didn't have to be brought up
. After a whole month, I sat her down and told her amidst many tears( mine and hers). 
That almost ended our short marriage. After, three days of literally no conversation, she came to me to talk. All was straightened out and she decided to give it a go.
We went through 15 years together with me dressing a lot of the times. She had some restrictions which I honored but most of the time, all was well and we talked openly about it any time either of us wanted to. There were times, however, when something annoyed her and she stopped talking. This made me very nervous so I stopped talking. Wrong move! After a few instances of this ceased communications, we both agreed that this type of behavior was damaging to us both and our marriage so the doors opened and the communications path was never blocked by either of us. If something annoyed either one, we told the other about it, not showing anger, but just talking.
It worked wonderfully.
I am sure that, were she still here with me, things would still be just great or, possible even better due to this forum and you wonderful folks.
Wow, are there some really thought provoking posts on here today. Sharon, thanks for starting this one. It made me go back over some very pleasant memories.
My wife and I started our relationship with no talk of CD'ing. I was quitting so it didn't have to be brought up
. After a whole month, I sat her down and told her amidst many tears( mine and hers). That almost ended our short marriage. After, three days of literally no conversation, she came to me to talk. All was straightened out and she decided to give it a go. We went through 15 years together with me dressing a lot of the times. She had some restrictions which I honored but most of the time, all was well and we talked openly about it any time either of us wanted to. There were times, however, when something annoyed her and she stopped talking. This made me very nervous so I stopped talking. Wrong move! After a few instances of this ceased communications, we both agreed that this type of behavior was damaging to us both and our marriage so the doors opened and the communications path was never blocked by either of us. If something annoyed either one, we told the other about it, not showing anger, but just talking.
It worked wonderfully.I am sure that, were she still here with me, things would still be just great or, possible even better due to this forum and you wonderful folks.
"The early bird catches the worm...But... It's the second mouse that gets the cheese"