Wanting To Go Out En Femme

[Martha G]

I make a nice looking woman. You can see my avatar and photos in the gallery.

I should be able to pass but I know that I would blend in if nothing else.

Anyway I would dress my age and not wear anything that would cause too much notice.

I do like tight knee length skirts and have a nice pair of legs. I certainly would not mind a few whistles! LOL!

However, I am scared to death to leave my house dressed as a woman.

For a costume party, that's one thing, but just going out at other times I have that great fear.

Any recommendations on how to cope with this fear and to possibly overcome it.

I think that I would present myself to the world as a pretty and very well manned woman. I think I owe myself that!

Girls! Your thoughts.

[Anthony Simon]

Well, you could go to a costume party as an ordinary woman and see if anyone could tell on the way...If they didn't, you could just try without the costume party.

[Martha G]

I have passed as a woman at costume parties. But that is a good way to practice and get the hang of it.

Thanks.

[Robyn]

Hi Martha G,

Given that I’ve barely begun to find my own way, I certainly don’t have any advice to share. But, I will say you look lovely and I think you would blend in nicely. I’ll bet if you take this step in moderation you’ll be posting back about how wonderful it felt. I’ll be watching for that post

[Martha G]

Oh thank you Robyn.

This girl feels encouraged already!

Have a good night GF

[Martina Hall]

The first time is the hardest. Go grocery shopping or just window-shopping one time. Then, you will wonder what you were worrying about. And then, you will want to go everywhere en femme.

[Virginia]

Literally going out for your first time, I would recommend just getting in your car and driving around. Second would be a quiet park to just walk through, staying near your car if you feel "concerned."

My first real outing was to an afternoon movie matinee! Is is not crowded. You get to practice getting out of your car, walking to the theater, the only interaction would be with the ticket window and those people are usually behind a thick glass and can't hear you very well anyway. Walk in and the theater is dark so no one can really see you. Pick a good movie and you will forget for a bit what you are doing! You can practice sitting, getting comfortable and on the way out you usually are directed to a side exit not through the lobby.

Stay away from malls! Our biggest critics frequent those places. Teenage girls!!!! They will out even the best of us in a heart beat. Why? they are subconsciously seeking role models and of course are found in packs. They see someone, i.e., a CD/TG and they read you and they will tell everyone in that zip code that they have found "something" that does not belong and that they don't understand and like a pack of hyenas with a wounded calf, circle and probe and test and nip and on and on. It can be completely terrifying to someone who is unprepared.

If you have a "cosmopolitian" club/restaurant in your area that too is a great place to go. Gays will immediately read you and lesbians don't want anything to do with us, so if you can go with a friend as you will feel quite lonely otherwise.

Let us know how it goes if you do decide to go out!

Virginia

[Robyn]

That is some sound advice, which I will take to heart. I can picture those wild little creatures closing in, yikes!

[Nicole Rose]

Hi Martha, I agree with everything Virginna said. Going for a drive to start with is awesome, go through a drive through fast food, a quiet park is good too. Just follow your instincts and enjoy. All depends on how bad you want to get out, good luck, you will be fine

[KimberlyS]

Martha nerves getting out the first time is normal. The best thing I can tell you is you have the looks down so just do it. I will disagree with Virginia just a little and say that if school age kids are still in school, that a mall in the morning is a great place to get out and about. Just walk in one end and make a loop and leave. Then breath. If you feel impowered take a second loop. But if kids are out of school be carefull. But if you do come across kids and they say something, you can difuse alot with a smile and a hello and go about your business. Just do not let them see you are afraid.

What ever you do, nerves are normal. But once you are done you will wonder why.

You can do it!!!

[Martha G]

Oh my girls!

Thanks for the encouragement!

I feel more relaxed already.

[Martha G]

I will be in the process to get an entirely new wardrobe over the next year or so.

I certainly will have this in mind for the time when I can start going out en femme.

I want to make a passable woman or if not at least blend in

This way I can enjoy my female side as Martha more and learn to appreciate it.

I will dress accordingly to my age. However, I do like tight knee length skirts and wouldn't mind a whistle or two!

My grandmother said that I had legs that any girl would desire!

Oh my!

[Brenda Allen]

Yes Martha you can do it!!!!

You are right in "dressing according to your age". One of the surest give-aways is not doing so...and also go light on the makeup. Do what you have to cover the "guy shadows" but don't go heavy on the eyes or the blush. Too much makeup is another give away. And have fun...go as fast or slow into this as you wish...just feel as comfortable as possible and enjoy the time out.

BTW what is it with grandmas...mine said the same thing.

[Martha G]

I don't know what it is about grandmas, Brenda.

But you are right. I can do it

I like to dress impeccably with only the necessary makeup.

All my clothes will be in the best of taste. Even my knee length tight skirts. I see ladies in their 60's and 70's wearing them.

I don't want to be percieved as a man in a dress.

This way I can get in touch with my female side. I do not want to become a woman but when dressed I feel so relaxed and my stress goes away.

Being a part time woman through dressing is a way to meet my other inner self. I also look so much younger dressed as a woman. It takes at least ten years off my age, maybe 15.

So you are right! I can do it!. I WILL DO IT!

[Rachel A.]

Martha, you look lovely in your picture so I'm sure you'll do fine. And have the thrill of your life in the process. I just went out in public for the first time earlier this week. It turned into a funny story that maybe will reassure you.

I went in the middle of a weekday to Kohl's to return some items. The return desk was in the back so had to walk through the store. Most people are into their own shopping, cell phones, paying at the register, but a few looked at me, seemingly a bit longer than normally. I just kept on walking. Of course, I couldn't tell if they "suspected" something or just were into people-watching, or liked or disliked my hair or whatever. No words.no scene, no commotion. At the return desk, I waited calmly for my turn. The lady behind the desk signaled me for my turn and I went up, used my best "Rachel" voice and ... so far so good. But one of the items was a gift so she said, "I just need your driver's license number." Well, this was a surprising turn of events. I reached into my handbag and gave her my (MALE) driver's license. She looked at the picture, looked at me, looked at the picture again, looked at me again, and said, "Is this you?" I replied, "Yes, it is." She then processed the return without further ado - or remark or facial expression - handed me the receipt and off I went - to shop! I wasn't going to buy anything as I did not want to go to the register. But I did make another stop at trader Joe's, without any incident.

Well, actually, there was another funny incident. I was buying only a few items and lined up to pay behind an elderly gentleman. I was truing to be inconspicuous. When the young female clerk was done bagging his groceries, she said, "Is everything okay, sir?" I nearly jumped as I thought she was talking to me! It turns out, the man was fumbling with something, like trying to put away his money, so the clerk was talking to him. Whew! Then it was my turn and it wet off without a hitch. Smooth as silk. The whole thing was a fantastic adventure. I felt wonderful!

So, Martha, you will be nervous the first time, but everything will be fine. You will be priud of yourself, for being composed AND for passing. So enjoy the adventure!