Shopping and learning.

[Rachel E.]

I'm still new to shopping for women's clothes for myself. I went to my local Savers once(I was in drab). I was scared out of my mind, but the only thing that happened was that a SA approached me and told me that the men's department was over the other side of the store. I told her that I was fine and she walked away. The male cashier didn't even bat an eye and even wished me a nice day. I found 4 great tops and 2 pairs of brand new jeans.

I've been too broke and scared to go shopping again, but I appreciate the stories I am reading about Macy's. When I am ready to try shopping again, I think I'll go there. Thanks.

Rachel

[Ralitsa]

So I wonder if some SA's actually think that men can't find their way around a store without instructions, or if they are being intentionally catty.

I once asked to try on a top and the SA said "but this is a womans top". To which I answered, "yes, I know." Then after about 2 seconds she caught on and said "Oh" handed the top to another SA and ran off in total embarrassment. It was kind of funny to me, but I did feel some sympathy for her because I can be really clueless and have said my share of stupid things.

It's just a whole lot easier to go shopping dressed, because then there is no confusion about it. And it's a lot more fun too! So I prefer to do that, but when I just want to pop in and get a few things on the way home from work, then I go somewhere they already know me.


*** Post edited to insert spacing between paragraphs (that makes it so much easier for everyone to read!), as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Rachel E.]

Thanks for the support Ralista. I can't go shopping while en femme. I am nowhere close to passable and really don't want to destroy what little self esteem I have as Rachel. I'm still growing, and still uncomfortable buying girls clothes for myself while in drab. I have a looong way to go before I'll be ready to socialize in public, in any manner, en femme. I do want to say that you, and others here at The Haven, are helping me to gain confidence, so thanks.

Rachel

[Ralitsa]

Of course we can appreciate how hard it is to get over that hurdle, so we are all here for support and encouragement

What really helped me was getting past the idea that I needed to pass, that I was required to be perceived as a woman. When I finally got it in my head that I can just be me and this me has some particular anatomy and a particular preference for certain styles, then I really relaxed about the whole situation and began to enjoy it much more. Luckily for us there are no longer any laws in this country (that I know of) which dictate clothing choices. I sure would hate to live in the middle east though, where certain crazies will chop off your head if they happen to disagree about fashion.

So then I could start to really shop, spend the time looking through everything, asking questions, trying things on, asking how they looked on me, etc. And when that happened I started FINALLY buying clothes that fit me well, looked good, and I really enjoyed wearing. Interestingly, a few months ago when I was in Dress Barn I was trying some things on and there was a dress I liked which was cut in kind of a military styles with big brass buttons and zippers and wide belt. The SA helping me didn't like it on me, she told me it was too masculine and I looked better in more feminine styles. I thought that was sort of ironic, but of course I took her advice and got something else that she liked better.

The point of that, I think, is that sometimes the contrast between masculine and feminine can be quite attractive. The biggest reason I think many men look ridiculous in a dress is because it is totally the wrong size, cut, and color for them. Women who wear men's clothing without choosing well also look shabby, but some of the menswear styles look great on the right woman.

The lesson that I finally learned is that I have to buy clothes for ME, not for a fictitious woman that I'm trying to be. I use the handle "Ralitsa" on here for obvious reasons, but I never think myself as anyone different than me, regardless of what I'm wearing. So the only way I figure I can find the things that suit me, is to really be me when I'm shopping. I'm not always going to go through all the effort of putting on a lot of make-up, wearing a wig, and really trying to pass when I go out of the house, so I need outfits that do not require all that trouble. I've learned that I need to accept reality and just go to someone with a great eye for fashion and say "This is what you have to start with, let's see what you can do."


*** Post edited to insert spacing between paragraphs (that makes it so much easier for everyone to read!), as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Angell]

Been reading all about you girls going to store and trying on clothes. I had never shopped at thrift store so this week I ventured out en drab and was going to see if I could try a few outfits on at the local value village. Lots of great clothes there. Before I tried anything on I checked out the change areas and I saw an attendant counting items you have on hand. I was going to bring a male item with a few female to try on but I could see that would be quickly discovered and chickened out. Will need to wait to get courage again.

[PhylissH]

I agree Virginia shopping at Goodwill and other similar tyoe outlets can be a lot of fun. It has nothing to do with being cheap.
Every one loves a bargain.
My best find was at thrift store in Florida, Was actually looking for a white denim skirt and found a beautiful 100% genuine
leather pencil skirt for only $ 6.00. Looked like it had barely been worn.