My Goal.

[Anne Bonny]

The day when I can wear whatever whenever and wherever as long as it is appropriate to the occasion will be the day that I am truly Free. When I can answer the door, or when G's girlfriend or some other friend comes in and does not take much notice over how I am dressed because everyone knows I am Transgender that will be a very good day. It should not draw attention from anyone because everyone will know and not be worried with any of that. That will be a good day. When people relate to me, not to my clothing or my status as Transgender I think that is the ultimate objective.

Completely Out of the Closet as Transgender to the world that is the goal. We are the ones who hold the key to our freedom, It is our decision and belongs to no one else. Do we want to live a full life and be a whole person, or do we want to continue as only half a person, running, looking over our shoulder, hiding...I think that is what is truly sick it keeps us sick.

[DonnaT]

Have you given thought to a time table as to when you might be able to reach your goal?

[Robyn]

Agreed, "We are the ones who hold the key to our freedom". However, whenever we do things outside the norm we're sure to be noticed. Just like my punk rock adolescents with crazy hair and clothing. Outside the social norm, yes, but common within my circle of friends; thus I was always noticed and drew attention (liking it or not).

There are people whom I'd never share Robyn with. The misunderstanding and harsh judgement would be inevitable so why bother. On the other hand I am free to dress at home and go out as I wish, but I do employ sound judgement of when and where, which actually isn't limited at all. Doing my best to present as a woman it can still be apparent I'm a man, but I don't mind at all when those who I'm interacting with take an interest in me as a transvestite. Truly, it's always a lot of fun.

But I do know exactly what you're saying Anne. A day when it simply doesn't matter whatsoever what we wear. A perfect world.

I think you should come to the West Coast for a vacation. Away from the religious hypocrites you've mentioned, the unforgiving social aspects, etc., etc. It's easy going about your business in public while wearing a dress here.

[Noeleena]

Hi.

Being Introduced to Others .

How did I do it and how I did for others as well .

Clothes makeup shoes hair or wigs and what ever else . did not and was not part of the conversion why it was not needed, this was and is about the person and my friends got talking to my friends based on I know them I brought them with me to meet my friends wether it was to our Edwardian group or those I know at the shops or our Brass Bands and of cause my many friends ,

it was hi this is my friend from Australia who is staying with me for 2 weeks and that was it , there was no oh your one of those ....trans people no this is A..... Because my friends know what I am and know I know many people they don't have to ask or say a thing they know all the groups im involved with and pretty much all about my life its just accepted ,

So if you or any one comes over my way I,ll introduce you to my friends and you don't need to be embarrassed, or have to say what ever .

I never had to worry about who I saw because I told them about myself and why even new people and that's most are not bothered as to what I wear that was passed over pretty quick as they know I,d wear different types of clothes and if that included male or female it made no difference because they saw me how do I explain that better ,

.......okay they know what I look like facial features you see theres no cover up or ....my hiding behind my wig ......and yes I did years ago and when I went to Christchurch and because i was unsure of how I looked , not my clothes, just my face as you know I hated how I looked from age 10 and yes still do it was not about boy or girl looks just.... my..... look yea I don't know .

The longer you hide the longer you take ...To accept what you are and who you are , and then to express your self is longer yet ,

...noeleena...

[Anne Bonny]

Hey, Timeframe? Hum... seems of late I am really feeling it am fully up right now, was a lot yesterday...even went out and got my paper, then on the porch for a bit to lift the hurricane blinds (I have been using them as "heat shields" for the afternoon sun as power is so expensive, had roof ridge vents installed too and making a slow conversion to LED lighting, installed all screens, keep the blinds closed on one side in the morning, the other side in the evening, have closed off rooms and vents in those rooms but that is OT).

I believe the more I dress and acclimate to feminine clothing - you know when you are so afraid and are deep in the closet trying to hide it all...when the coast used to be clear it was an adrenaline rush to dress, with shaking, rapid pulse and breating, fear of being discovered that someone could come home. It was usually associated with fantasy and mastribation especially when I was younger. Being closeted leads to some very sick things the clothing is fetish wear because we are forced to deny this is who we are, forced to hide, forced to suppress it all - oh it's just a choice. society and the brainwashing of Christian religion are to blame. We have been subjected to abuse because they deny that we are normal and were born this way it is all just so outrageous!

Anyway ... eventually I evolved, figured it out. And now when I dress I am healthy, I like the comfort and the look I am confident and happy. Sex is now separated it is a part of life that has fallen to be in it's usual place. I am a male lesbian funny I know but it really is kind of a valid idea when I am feeling feminine because I am always attracted to women.

I know I am rambling like crazy - sorry...TIMEFRAME...I have not set a definite date and am not sure I will. At all times even when in male mode I am transgender and will tell people that - so it is like a man stating "I'm Gay" but in my case I am stating "I'm Transgender." There are people I will continue to hide it from I think, my oldest sister - much too conservative, traditional and religious - I would lose her, any conversation at that point would be her trying to fix me and bring me to "confessing and repenting" but I am agnostic! there is no such thing as sin! God... may or may not be one who knows there will never be any proof one way or the other. Once my wife is gone I will not care if her family knows I am transgender, our sons are adults over age 18, and all ties will be gone, they live a minimum of 70 miles away so at that point yeah I can tell them. The Church I stopped going to over two years ago and still to this day out of the blue sometimes they just show up - how rude!!!!! Call do not just interrupt me out of the blue! Grrrrr!!!! But word probably would get back to her minister brother - same denomination and they communicate, so have to wait to out myself to them, and hum...I suppose I can out myself somewhat around here... You gain confidence and get tired of it all and I think that is what may lead to the neighbors finding out only have one other house next to mine the rest are way way down the street separated by government property in between but I do live in town. My coming out is at glacial speed, a very slow evolving process but is carefully considered. I could come out to my son's friends they could know their friend's father is transgender - is that really a big deal. It is a kind of a deal because there will always be haters, people offended by who we are just as it is for Gays and Lesbians...they go ew! with their preconceived ideas based on fantasies and myths - oh well. There are enlightened people out there I am going to go thank them for being who they are and for being my friend.

Working with my wife...enfemm, aid could come any time...I have to go with how I feel from time to time...I was feeling feminine so femmed up and feel great! I am not and could never ever be Gay but coming out would be like that...I would just be stating hey...I am transgender. And I am. So why do I have to run and hide when this is who I am? I need to push my oldest a little not sure why his girlfriend would have an issue with who I am, she is his girlfriend and being transgender is not a viral illness. I can feel feminine, dress feminine, but I am attracted to women...I guess women drive me crazy!

I do need to push my sons on this some...why do I have to hide this ...now there are people I would hide it from my older sister...hum...99% of my wife's family except the one who knows...my wife's friend...but I never see those people. Facebook...now if I shared it with people on Facebook THAT would be THAT! probably in the end. My older sister refuses to go on FB, the other one does not trust messaging stating it could be hacked - whoops! if it is then I am out because there are pictures and everything there. I am getting close though, I am tired of having to hold up this huge wall to hide behind. Oh and I could if the church people keep showing up just tell them and they would be gone and gossiping about it for a while good riddens

Robyn told me this and to me it is outstanding...in that I have every right to be who I am, and other people have every right not to like it - so - tough more would not care than the few who do and most of those are the Religious Right who are trying to deny us everything and tell us we are going to burn in hell, well fine - whatever - but I do believe the supreme court and the courts in general will protect us, right to work, right to be etc... We have the same rights as everyone else in this country, the freedom to exist (I mean think about that - to be who we are even that is denied to us! as they tell us you are just choosing to be that way - right 58 years struggling with it backside holes!), to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The right to live free go anywhere be anything, to work, to marry and to enjoy all the rights and privileges as anybody else. So the Religious can take their finger out of our face, cut off their microphones, get off of their soap box and go to hell! Go preach to their congregations and be as narrow minded, uptight, and bigoted as they please but they have no right to preach in the market place and condemn anyone who is not harming anyone else. They have the right to freedom of speech, but perhaps people will eventually see like racists they have no following or one that is shrinking.

Thanks for the tip Noleena, where are you in Austrailia that is kind of a nice thought to go see you and go around meeting your friends...it is on the other side of the world...suppose I will have to settle for my friends knowing me, and as I make them they should know - oh by the way I am transgender....I find it amazing that so far no one has blown up in my face, on the contrary it is complete acceptance and telling me not to worry about it at all.

Robyn, Thanks...another place to go visit..when I was young about 10-13 we lived in Sacramento went to San Francisco, through the wine country, to Ft Bragg for the skunk train and the Russian Fort, the redwood forest etc...would be nice to be able to do it enfemm.... Yeah...I can see that Women who would be intrigued, accepting and interested in us and would see who we are not just our clothes as interesting and perhaps as attractive too. Being a bit of a renegade - avant garde a bit of a lively one bringing something different and interesting to the group perhaps?? Perhaps not... But different. I think we have the same approach there are people we value who would blow up in our face so like my older sister would not tell her ever, My mom and dad never knew and now they are buried at Arlington together but I do not regret not telling them, the younger of my two sisters tells me they would never have understood, I did not think so either. Then there are people like my wife's family who I do not care if they blow up, who knows...some might want to seek me out for a closer relationship - I doubt that they are all religious. Good judgement and radar...as transvestites many are like us, some just say let the chips fall...but some people I do not want to lose and I do not see them often as none of them live in town and would certainly call if they did plan to come.

"I do employ sound judgement of when and where, which actually isn't limited at all. Doing my best to present as a woman it can still be apparent I'm a man, but I don't mind at all when those who I'm interacting with take an interest in me as a transvestite. Truly, it's always a lot of fun." Robyn

Yep...when and where here in the deep south surrounded by 90% religious nutters...hum...I could never pass, shoulders too broad.. I do stay thin and fit 167.4 this morning because I want to look my best in a dress. You have given me something more to think about from your experience. The fun of people taking an interest in me as a transvestite - I could see it being fun when it is positive and they are interested...suppose I need pepper spray for my purse though just in case? I mean if attacked physically though I am fit run a daily 5k, 100 sit ups, 65 push ups (45, sit ups then another 20) - if we could not get them to back off, and we could not make a retreat because they are coming at us - a worst case suppose I would want to be prepared or feel I am in some way probably a waste of money and not necessary at all.