Greetings and salutations

[AprilC]

Good evening ladies,

Where should I begin? Hard to say. My name is April, I am 34 years old. Accountant by trade, I live in the DC metro area and have since coming here for college many years ago. My interests are somewhat eclectic, all over the place. Most of it is typical guy stuff. I have four fantasy football teams in different leagues this year for example. I golf and fish and hunt, ride my mountain bike, take Krav Maga classes and play in an old man hockey league, which is one of the few places I still feel 'young.' When I am not engaged in one of those activities, usually I am veg'ing out on the couch, watching a new show or movie, reading a book or immersed in a video game.

I've also been crossdressing regularly for about the last 9 years, in the privacy of my own home and by myself. Truth be told, I started my dalliance with gender bending in my early teens, don't remember exactly when, but it was fleeting, and didn't really 'take.' I stopped doing/thinking about it towards mid-late HS and didn't pick it up again until after I'd graduated and started working. Maybe it was denial, or lack of resources and opportunity. I grew up in a small, crowded house where privacy was a rare luxury, so that may have stifled my girl side a bit. I came back to it after I had my own place, an income and the privacy to do as I pleased.

Self acceptance has come slowly over the past 9 years, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on to asking for acceptance from others I know irl. But posting about my secret 'hobby' is a start, I guess. My only real problem with 'April' is that having to tend to her needs makes finding a girlfriend tough. I've dated a lot of women, but fear the level of intimacy where I'd have to come clean. Usually I panic and self-sabotage the relationship, or break it off outright when I sense that moment drawing nearer. It's crummy, I know, and self destructive. But I just can't bring myself to let a woman fall in love with me under false pretenses, or to reveal my deep secret for fear of an unpleasant reaction from them. Trust issues I guess.

So I'm hear to learn, to make friends with other digital presences and hopefully, in time, increase my own level of self acceptance and learn to share my true self with other people I care about. Feel free to PM me if you want to know more about me. I am generally affable and kind, open to making new friends and stuff.

Gets harder all the time hiding part of my authentic self away from the world. I am sure some here can relate.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, April, and welcome to the Haven!


- SL

[Anita]

Hi April, come on in! Welcome to the haven.

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, April.

It does help to talk about it. Just let's things out.

[DonnaT]

Hi April, to the forum.

[Requal Jo]

Hi April and welcome to this friendly and supportive Haven were you will find plenty of persons to make friends and gain experienced knowledge from.

[Nicole Rose]

Hi AprilC, to the haven. I know exactly what you are going through with the relationships and keeping your dark secret. I was your age going through the same feelings, I finally accepted my cdrsing and never looked back, no more ?ing. Now I dress as often as I can and I am totally happy with my male and fem sides. just take your time, cdrsing never goes away so might as well accept your fem-side, join us here at the haven, and come chat sometime, lots of great girls there to help you. I too love my male sports activities, but my fem-side is also so important to me, tc nicole

[Domonique]

Hi April, to the Haven. You will find what you are seeking, here and out in the world.

[Rony]

Hi AprilC
Welcome to the haven.
Ronnie

[OliviaM]

Hi April. to the haven!! I know you will enjoy and learn!!

[Martina Hall]

Welcome to a Haven of friends, April!

[Kelly]

Really, Really, Glad you found us, April.

This is the place where there are many who can relate. Don't I know.

Drink from the fire hose and post early and often.

Kelly.

[Martha G]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

[April Rose]

Hi, April, and welcome from another April. You have come to the right place.