Hi from a very confused newbie!

[Sarell (SO)]

Hi there,
I'm new to this. My boyfriend has just told me he enjoys dressing in womans lingerie and I have a million and one questions and a range of emotions! So glad I found this site as I really need to chat to people about this. I'm a single mum of two boys, straight but very open (or so I thought!),

Sarah

[CharLee]

Hi Sarel,

First off welcome to our corner of the world. As for all your questions, just drop in to the chat room sometime and ask away. All the girls and a few GG's will be glad to answer them if they can, I for one will try my best to help you understand.

[DonnaT]

Hi Sarah, to the forum.

[Sarell (SO)]

Hi guys,
Thanks for your responses. How do u join a chat? How do u PM someone? I am so upset and confused, I have a lot of questions and I cant stop thnking and its driving me mad and im upset!
Sarah

[CharLee]

There are 2 ways to join the chat room, one in on the main index page that list members, posts etc., the othe is to scroll down to the bottom of thee page and see who is in the chat room, then click on " enter chat "

[Anne Bonny]

Sorry you are frustrated. It is hard to give one answer because we are all so different. He could just have a lingerie fetish. Is he gay? Most male cross dressers are not, many have wives and children...I have two boys, and my wife and I have been together now for 24 years I am a faithful husband but I will say her Dementia was diagnosed 6 years ago so for the past 6 I have been a caregiver. Also many cross dressers find this is a part time activity. I believe for most we are just born this way. Most do not go out into public if they dress fully when they dress.

The best way to find out about your friend is to sit down with him and discuss it honestly. It may take many small conversations over a long time. If he is barely out of the closet you may be the very first person he has felt comfortable sharing this with and if you are able to accept him he will not want to lose you. Not much more I can advise...the chat room may be the best place to go and perhaps the quickest way to get your questions answered. I will go check the room but you are probably long gone not....

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Sarah.

The PM icon is the letter icon at the bottom left of each post. If you want to PM Silver Lady, probably the easiest way is to go to the site index page, find a reference to her and click on it. That takes you to her profile. Then you click on the PM/letter icon and off you go.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Sarell, and welcome to the Haven!


- SL

[Eileen (SO)]

Hi Sarah!

There are lots more GG's on this forum than most others, and a good mix of lifestyles and experiences. Good you in trying to understand instead of freaking out. We are all learning to understand together.

Eileen

[Mikaela]

Being here is the first step in moving forward with accepting and understanding what it going on. The advice you get here will be invaluable in your journey. If you're willing, you may even fully accept and enjoy the newly discovered lifestyle you're entering with your mate.

[Martina Hall]

Welcome, Sarell !

[Martha G]

Hi Sarah!

Welcome

[Paulette]

Hi and welcome.

I suspect that what you will find here are all of your questions, asked by each of us when we joined up. There really are very few definitive answers, and any number of opinions.

We simply don't know why we cross dress, but that we must. It can be once a day, a week, a month, a year (Halloween is a favorite), only at home or in the garage, or all the time. Regardless of the frequency, some of us will keep it forever a secret, and some of us will transition to a full or part time presentation as a female.

There's an old joke: What's the difference between a cross dresser and someone who transitions (with or without surgery). Answer, about two months. Except that it's not at all true. I'm 75 and have been cross dressing since 1949, been married three times, have a 46yo son, and have no interest in transitioning. Many others here are like me. Many are not.

Things change, and so will you and your guy. One thing we're all sure of is that there is no cure! After all, it isn't a disease. It's who we are, and if we could change it, most of us would. And even with changing attitudes, it's just damnably inconvenient and embarrassing (until we, ourselves, accept it).

So talk to your guy, but don't expect any hard answers or keep-able promises. Read the early posts here and see how things progress and change as they age.

My first two wives couldn't deal with it (though my second marriage lasted 40 years). My last wife thought my CD was a feature, not a bug. She had much more difficulty with the fact that I was once a Marine. YMMV. No, YM-will-V. Just try to keep an open mind and see how you feel from day to day and talk to your guy about it. If you stick together you will go through as many changes as (s)he does.

cheers,

[Stephanie H]

Welcome to the group. There is a great deal for both of you to learn, understand and manage. The forum is a place were there has been many topics posted in the past. Begin to understand by navigating through the many posts.
Talk, understand , talk understand.

[Rikki]

Welcome to the forum, Serell. Hope you find info here to help you on your journey.

All the best to you and yours,
Rikki