Why the need to be seen, ie. pictures, websites, etc

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 3:15 pm

Okay, one thing I've always wondered about. Why is there this need to be seen? Total strangers have approached me with photos in hand like they are their pride and joy, to share them with me and anyone else who would look. I felt uncomfortable and don't get it. I've never asked though I've wanted to. Just like the posting of pictures here with replies or posts. Please help me to understand this need. Thanks!
Kay(SO)

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 5:42 pm

Good question! I'll have to think about it for a while.

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 3:20 am

Okay, (pun intended

),

I have a feeling that this is nothing out of the ordinary for the net. If you go to an collector car forum, you'll find pictures of guys and gals's vehicles, including multiple shots of the same vehicle from different angles, with close-ups of of their pride and joy(s). Likewise for bead collectors, small tractor owners, aircraft restorers . . . posting photos is a way of sharing when they can't be there in person.

I don't think it is unique to TG/CDs at all.

G-d knows I've bored people to death with pictures of my baby

. Although she's not a baby anymore, I have a big series of photos of her on my door -- one taken every few months so you can see how she has grown -- and last week I pointed them out to a friend and I caught him rolling his eyes!!!

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 7:59 pm

Okay, I hear you, I have kids too but it's not the SAME. As a GG, I don't carry around photos of myself to show everyone that crosses my path or post my photo on websites. It's like you're saying, look at me, aren't I beautiful? Or like you are saying look at me, I am my prized possession, aren't I something? I'm really not trying to be offensive either, I'm truly trying to understand this. It seems to be some kind of need that I can't wrap my brain around. Am I even close?? Is it that you want other's to see and tell you that you are beautiful? And what if they don't think you are? Isn't that a big set-up? Help!?
Kay

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 8:23 pm

Kay, you're right . . . it does go a bit deeper than the examples I've cited. But rather than "am I my prized possession" many may be saying "this is me, can you accept me for who I am?" or "do I fit in anywhere?"

Anyone posting a photo in this forum (as long as it is not offensive or in violation of forum rules) ought to be deserving of a polite response, regardless of the "quality" of the photo unless they ask for critique. However, I'm sure posters would appreciate ANY comments good or bad via PM or email.

Is any of this helpful?

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 8:43 pm

Yes, yes, yes. That's exactly what I was looking for! Again, it gives me the ability to have compassion through understanding. It's like I'm now saying, Ohhhhhh I get it. Thank you so much. The need to fit in and be accepted makes perfect sense to me. Thank you for rattling my brain. Now I also know why my husband is reluctant to share his photos, as if embarrassed to do so. He tells me that he doesn't want to appear foolish. It's a huge concern for him. One of the reasons I do all that I can for him, to help and support him. We have a blast together. I feel much better now.
Kay

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:20 pm

You're welcome Kay.

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 5:57 pm

Matt,
Thanks for the input. Do you have to hide or do you get support from your SO? I was just wondering. It makes me sad when I hear about the lack of support and the thought of the isolation ya'll must go through. I'm in the other boat. I'm so supportive that I'm the one who's trying to get him into making some friends, going to meetings or whatever, to gain outside support. He doesn't want to be seen by anyone but we do go out of town to clubs sometimes when we're traveling. I think it would be nice to actually know other couples. I'm still working on it.
Kay (SO)

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Oct 18, 2003 7:34 am

Kay(SO) wrote:Okay, one thing I've always wondered about. Why is there this need to be seen? Total strangers have approached me with photos in hand like they are their pride and joy, to share them with me and anyone else who would look. I felt uncomfortable and don't get it. I've never asked though I've wanted to. Just like the posting of pictures here with replies or posts. Please help me to understand this need. Thanks!
Kay(SO)

Hi Kay,

I agree with Alexandra. Since you've already said, "I Got It!" I will just stop right there, unless you have more questions about why and want to pull it out of me.

(yeah, like talking is hard for me, right?)

Beauty

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Wed Oct 22, 2003 7:47 am

I have read everones post about a picture of oneself on the web. Very interesting some of the comments, I for one have not posted yet for two reason. #1 haven't been able to figure it out yet

, #2 the wife has taken many a picture of me dressed at my request but just can not find the proper one to post that I would be happy with. I enjoy looking at everones photo it gives me a face to put with a name. Who knows one day we may meet at a gathering and I could walk up and call you by name

. Hugs, Carol Ann

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 6:59 am

Hi Carol Ann,

When you're ready, please let us know. We'll do our best to try and help you get your picture posted.

Beauty

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 6:55 am

Thanks Beauty you are a sweetheart

. I have a photo on a cd from the store I think would be proper to post. Kodak cd format

does that helk any? Carol Ann

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 6:57 am

OUPS, that should read "help", Carol Ann

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 7:37 am

Hey there Carol Ann,

Yes, that totally helps!

Are you able to open it with the paint program on your PC?

Beauty

Allena · Post by **Allena** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:00 pm

Hello, this is my first post here...or on any CD site, for that matter.

I thought I'd answer this question first because this weekend I've been almost constantly dressed up while my wife and daughter were out of town.
I felt the urge to be seen so many times this weekend.
Our living room windows face a busy street, but I kept the curtains closed while I moved about the house.
I really wanted to just throw them open and allow myself to join "the world".
I've done some daring sprints past windows, out into the backyard (not so daring as the front though!)
BTW, tomorrow I will be discussing my CDing for the first time with my wife (although we talked long-ago about how I "used to " dress up).

To me, exposure while dressed would be the last secret exposed. It's a chance to say to everyone out there, "Here's a beautiful side of me that you have never seen, emotionally as well as physically. A part of me that used to have the word shame attached to it."

Although I don't have any pictures of myself dressed up, I can only guess that for some it's a chance to "come out" but in a way that can still feel like testing-the-water, so to speak.
Then again, there are plenty of people who do like to "show-off" something they are excited about even if they don't know how to find out first if their target is even interested.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Why the need to be seen, ie. pictures, websites, etc

Why the need to be seen, ie. pictures, websites, etc

Re: Why the need to be seen, ie. pictures, websites, etc