Progress Towards Greater CD Acceptance ... or Not?

[Jamie Ann]

     The Associated Press published an article today entitled “Athletes Who Have Had Sex Change Now Eligible” (referring to eligibility to compete in the 2004 Olympic Games). While this may not be directly relevant to anyone here — you would have to be both a transsexual and a world-class athlete — it still may have some significance for crossdressers. At the very least, it may signify greater official acceptance of persons whose sex/gender indentifications and histories differ from the statistically most common categories of persons.

     While this represents the “optimistic me,” another thought that keeps popping up in my mind is that this might be a victory for transsexual Olympic athletes only, no one else. Does progress for one group have spillover effects for other groups? Or does the general public make distinctions so precisely that they could watch and even root for (say) an Olympic bicyclist who was born the oppositie sex, but still think that a CD should be denied rights enjoyed by other people? If I understand Helen Boyd’s new book, My Husband Betty, correctly, she seems to believe that all groups must fight their own battles. I would like to think that this is not true, but I am not sure.

[Beauty]

Hi Jamie Ann,

I think the TS fight for freedom, respect, and equal rights has been helped by us.

I'm definitely not saying we did as much as they did, fighting for themselves. Maybe our silent votes have helped gays, lesbians, and TSs throughout history? I know there are closet gays and lesbians who helped too.

Regardless of my ramblings. Great post Jamie Ann!

Beauty

[Jamie Ann]

Hi Beauty,

     Thank you! It is an interesting idea that the efforts of CD’s to gain acceptance has aided the efforts of transsexuals to gain acceptance. I suspect, however, that you are right. There are, of course, religious/political groups in our society who believe that there are only two legitimate categories of human beings: masculine/males and feminine/females. Any other group, in their view, is illegitimate. As a Southerner raised in a conservative community, I have come to think that this is way too simple-minded. I like to believe that the gains by any “alternative identity” helps us all. My general “ideology” in this area is that we must recognize the worth of every human being, whatever their sex, race, sexual orientation, gender history, or gender identity. Only when we respect all human beings can we expect others to accept us.

[Caroline]

Or does the general public make distinctions so precisely that they could watch and even root for (say) an Olympic bicyclist who was born the oppositie sex, but still think that a CD should be denied rights enjoyed by other people?

Hi Jamie Ann,

I'm sorry to say it, but I think the answer is 'Yes'. In the UK, the general public are supported in their (narrow-minded) view by our government and legislature. I refer to our 'The Sexual Equality (Sexual Orientation) Regulations', which came into force here on 1st December 2003. These Regs make it an offence to discriminate, directly or indirectly, at work against anyone who is 'lesbian or gay, heterosexual or bisexual'.

In addition the the foregoing Regs, transgendered people are protected here by our Sex Discrimination Regulations of 1999. In this context, a transgendered person is defined as 'a person who is going through transition when they move from living as their assigned gender to living in their 'true' gender. They may or may not choose to have hormone treatment and/or surgery as part of this'.

Unfortunately, neither sets of Regs offer any protection to hetero CDs. As far as our lawmakers are concerned, CDs are some kind of dirty pervert that should be shunned by members of 'decent' society, and we deserve all the disapprobation and disadvantages that we get.

In fact there was a TV (no pun) programme here last week about just this point. A married CDer who had worked for local government service for 16 years, and was excellent at his job. He had started to tell colleagues that he crossdressed at weekends. None of them objected to his face, but complaints were made to management about 'how shocked and upset' these poor peole were by these relevations. Result, the CD was summarily dismissed for 'gross misconduct'. He appealed to his employer, then to an independant Tribunal, each time with the reluctant backing of his Union (they didn't like CDers either, but he had paid his dues, so they had to represent him). On both occasions he lost his case. Hetero TVs, or CDs if you prefer, are not protected here.

However, had this poor guy lied to his bosses, or the Tribunal, and said he was either (a) a gay drag-queen, (b) a bisexual drag-queen, or (c) that he was really a transexual and from now on he was coming to work every day in a frock, they could not have sacked him without breaking the law! Crazy, isn't it?

Take care,

Caroline.

[Curly(SO)]

Just like to add to the above, I'm pretty sure they said the guy on the T.V programme you are referring to, had mentioned his crossdressing to a colleague while they were both off duty, it was never mentioned in work time. I could not believe it when they fired him.

[Caroline]

Hi Curly,

Incredible wasn't it. Straight out of 'Alice in Wonderland'.

Here's another twist for you. A new book* has been published recentlly on behalf of The Lord Chancellor's Department (the office which appoints our judges, and lays down rules for them on how to apply the law, for our US readers). Apparently our judges should not allow themselves to be prejudiced against transgendered people who appear before them in femme clothing, but presumably it's still OK for them to be prejudiced against homo- and hetero- crossdressers!

So much for 'all being equal under the law', at least in Britain.

Take care,

Caroline.

*"The Equal Treatment Bench Book", a 300 page loose-leaf book, which is being sent to all judges, and they are meant to keep it on their bench for reference as they try cases.

[Virginia]

This is a tough one ladies! Cd'ers have nothing really to "fall back on." if you know what I mean. I think you lose your CD identy if you dress 24/7. If you are taking hormones you lose your CD identy. If you have begun the process of transition, ie. began medical process be it psychology or medical you lose your CD identy. Unfortunately, I think that just going to a "shrink" to "find yourself" ain't gonna get you much support. A lot of us understand about the woman inside us, the "Anima" if you will, but since most of the general public does not want, know, understand, comprehend, our "gift" I am afraid that we have "A long row to hoe!" The argument is further compounded when you look at the majority of CD'ers, married with families!! And we desire to dress like a woman! Tough to argue for acceptance, beyond the fact that "its fun."?? Not really much of an argument! Those of us who have studied the whys and wherefores of our gift, understand that it is an innate desire, that requires control of the Anima or we are like the uncontrolled astroid spinning off into space and we take the "transition road" after having to give up friends, family, etc. No I don't see us, US as CD'ers being accepted in our lifetime. We will have to be content to closet or try and pass if we want to go out into that unknown. As for me/Deborah I will go out - dressed, because she loves it! and I..................

I WILL NOT GO GENTLY INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!
Love ya all,
Deborah

[Caroline]

Hi Deborah,

I agree with your wisdom, which was eloquently put, as always.

No, I don't think that the world is ready to accept that my 'hobby' is crossdressing, or that it's ever likely to do so, so it's something I will only ever be able to share with a minority of others.

At times I feel a little like the guy in a Monty Python sketch who was asked, on a gameshow, what his hobbies were: "Strangling dumb animals, and golf", he said, to loud boos and jeers from the audience. The gameshow host then said, "Sorry, but the folks here don't like golfers!". It's a bit like that for CDers too!

Take care,

Caroline.

[Beauty]

[Loretta Ann]

Very well put Sis. I am with you.

I find your comments about losing our CD identity interesting. I Dress en femme for approximately 156 hours out of the 168 hours that are in a week. For the most part it is for the same reason that GGs dress in jeans and tee shirts ?(comfort). I always wear panties, but most times I just throw a loose dress on as I have done today. A totally unrestrictive garment.

When the mood strikes I will dress more elaborately, and enjoy the finer aspects of my chosen hobby. If I would go full time I do not see that changing, So I wonder how that fits your evaluation?

[Virginia]

Thanks, Sis for putting me on the spot??!!! ha ha
If I follow the post, and it concerns acceptance of CD'ers/CD'ing I have to stand by my convictions that CD'ing will not become an accepted, hobby, lifestyle, anti-social "in-your-face" manner of expression! In addition I feel that someone who dresses 24/7 is no longer a CD'er whether they are closeted or not. I guess I have to agree with Jung in that once the Anima takes control, i.e., dressing 24/7 then some other type of transition is taking place. If "we" are able to control the anima either by merging her with our male personna or control her in a parallel existence then we can continue to learn from "her," and still maintain our male "agency." As I said, if we allow or lose control of the anima and she takes over (and that may not be all bad for some folks) we are off on a new tangent that is not CD'ing.
For me and Deborah I am still trying to determine if I want or am merging us or is she parallelling my existence or a bit of both. This doesn't happen over night so to speak. My male agency will remain intact and I will allow Deborah to do her thing up until I feel she is infringing on my agency. It's a tough call, I love how she makes me feel and the things I have learned from her, but I will not let her control me!
What was the question??? Oh, if you go full time?! God Bless you and I would hope you would be happy as Darlene (notice I said "as" not "with") because once you make that leap I do not think that you are a CD'er any longer. Can one transistion back and forth from 24/7 to parttime, I guess one could - what would that make you? I would venture a guess at someone who is somewhat unstable, well very unstable and they really need help in "finding themselves."
Well, Hon, did this blonde ramble enough to answer your question. Remember I am no expert just my personal observations and ramblings. Bottom line, society ain't gonna accept us (CD'ers) for a long, long time.
But Deborah will continue to dress and take her in-your-face into the public and love every minute of it!
I still love you even if you think I've lost it!
Love,
Deborah

[Loretta Ann]

My Sis wrote; Bottom line, society ain't gonna accept us (CD'ers) for a long, long time.

Your talking to the converted hon. I am with you 100% on that statement. I was not wanting to put you on the spot, wanting to learn from you. It was the first time I have seen that statement about losing your identity.

I guess I see my situation as the wearing of feminine clothing being an extension of my life, and not a substitution for my masculinity, and I thought we were on the same page with that one.

I can defiantly see that once one crossed the bridge through surgery etc. where it became a substitute for masculinity, one likely would loose there CD identity. But I have a hard time believing that if I just dressed 24/7 that I would. Because the larger amount of the time that I dress is for comfort only. The same reason that women dress the way they do.

However dressing full time is unlikely to happen, as I have no need to do that.

I did not understand this about the substitution when I posted my previous post. Your post led me to that, and I am grateful Sis. I have read and agreed with far to many of your posts to ever think you might of lost it!

[Virginia]

Thanks, Sis,
So I guess that (What is it that Beauty calls us) "The Twin Diamond Princesses," We are still on the same page, dressing and wearing make-up, heels, perfume, and just doin our thing!
Love ya,
Deborah

[Anita]

Great thread, all of you!

CDing is partly discriminated against because no one understands it--there's no obvious reason for it. That's why gains by TS women don't really help us that much. The public sees the transsexual woman dressing for a "reason." Mind you, the public still doesn't LIKE this reason, but at least logic tells them that it's a necessary thing. The public does not like explanations like, "well, it's FUN," as Deborah pointed out!

But any time CDing takes on a reason, it also moves toward being more acceptable. And at that point, as Deborah was saying, it also begins to stop being CDing, and becomes "something else."

It's a chicken-and-egg kind of logic here.

1) We know crossdressing is not acceptable.

2) Some of us dress like women for our jobs, and are accepted.

3) If we are accepted, then we must not be crossdressers, because...

4) Crossdressing is not acceptable!


Originally, I thought that my performing as a woman would help CDs everywhere. Now, I don't tend to think so. I'm just like a TS woman--people see a reason for me to dress--it's part of my job.

So in the short term, my situation is not going to really help the married crossdresser who likes to dress occasionally, and it's a shame. Rikki's situation is more that of living full-time. Darlene, you may not be wearing a wig and forms, but if you dress over 90% of the time, then you're practicing a version of full-time dressing, too.

There seems to be no way, at present, for it to be OK to just do a little bit of dressing at home, or to just do a little dressing in public.
Sadly,
Anita

[Virginia]

Dear Anita,
I would have to take a bit of an issue with the last statement that there seems to be no way for it to be OK to just do a little bit of dressing.......
I think it is OK for the person involved. One, if it does not adversly affect anyone else, Two, that they do it without guilt and Three, that they enjoy it, for whatever reason. I can only speak for Deborah, but "we" enjoy it, the feelings, the feel of the clothing, the heels, perfume, make-up its great. The key for me is to not let it overwhelm me and I will not get lost in it, so for me it is OK! Hope you know where I am coming from in this?
Love ya,
Deborah