Pierced Ears

[Beauty]

Hi Cindy,

It's like the jeans I guess. The when and where.

I am totally the biggest chicken ever!!!

Beauty

[Stef]

granted it was towards the end of the night but I swear I never fealt anything !!! -swg-
Hugs ! Cindy

Cindy, When have you ever felt anything toward the end of the night?

Beauty, only go as far as you are comfy doing. If you still have some uncomfortableness corncerning your ears then wait. It's not like your ears are going anywhere!! Your nose may run but your ears will stay put! LOL

Hugs,
Stef

[Beauty]

Hi Stef,

Ok, I promise I'll wait until I'm comfy.

Beauty

[Connie]

I've had my ears peiced for almost 20 years. I like hoops and am always looking for the largest hoops I can find.

Connie

[Cami]

I'm still not sure how I'm going to pull this off. I might just get it done and leave it at that. I just recently stopped working retail (Thank Gawd! Finnaly) but still have deal with people. This might just be the oppertunity for me. I think I might take Cindy's advice and go *Hic* bowling soon. LOL

[Julie M.]

Beauty,

It would probably be doable. I don't see what not. I believe that we CD's worry too much about what people will notice. I have found that most people live in their own world and don't give much attention to what's going on outside their own "little world" What may be glaringly obvious to us, no one else will give it a second thought.

You luv me anyways Cindy!! LOL

Hugs,
Stef

Stef,

Hon, you hit the nail on the head! We see ourselves under a microscope when the rest of the world looks at us through a dirty, dusty lens at 500 ft. We need to stop being so nit picky!

I see messages about going out shopping and all that some of us go through to even look at clothes. I just walk in and immediately look for the women's section (or when I'm feeling frisky, the junior's section) and start looking. I am totally immersed in the clothing and how it will look. I picked out a red skirt I really liked and held it at my waist as I walked around. I then saw a mirror and stopped for a second to see how it looked, I didn't like it, so I put it back. There were several women there some with teenage daughters and none seemed bothered, although I was in deep concentration mode so maybe they did notice but I never saw it and today I am still alive, imagine that!

The important thing is that if you are buying something, the store wants to sell it to you. They don't care if you're going to eat it or wear it, they make the sale and that's all that matters.

[Kyra]

Hey Be,
I had my ears pierced earlier this year. After the initial "Oh my God!" stuff(mainly my boss- He totally freaked out!), friends and coworkers haven't blinked a scrutinizing eye at all. As per agreement I don't wear them while at work, but at 5:01pm in they go!

(oh, and Stef, I REALLY love those hoops! )

Beauty, I don't mean to pry and the "shut up Kyra" clause is always accepted, but...
What has kept you from getting yours done? Work? Friends? ...Wife? (I doubt that.)
I guess I'm just surprised that you haven't already done so.

I went to the local Claire's shop (earrings, jewelry, etc.) and they were very pleasant. No hang-ups or anything.
Amusing sidenote: Before going to Claire's, I stopped in a small shop that does body piercings. The smallest thing they had were these 12 gauge rings that were thicker than the spokes on my son's bicycle! I smiled politely and declined the "free piercing" offer.

Just food for thought. Okay, I'll shut myself up.
It's time to say g'night anyway.

Hugs,
Kyra

[Stef]

Thanks Kyra!

I got them at Claire's.

Hugs,
Stef

[Beauty]

Hi Julie,

Thanks Julie. You're right. I am super duper nit picky about everything because I'm so afraid. Just of getting found out, not about getting my ears pierced.

I'd never heard the microscope analogy before, but boy was it right on. I'm really doing my best to let go some, but it's super hard. The board has helped me a lot though.

I envy the freedom you feel when shopping. I have gotten better, but am still a little apprehensive. My next big step is to dress and shop.

I really thought Stef's advice to be absolutely sure was a great bit of advice. I was sure when I decided to have laser hair removal. I should make sure I'm ok with this before I do it. I really want to, but I have just been nit picky. Thanks again Stef!

Lastly you bring up a great point about the vendors. That is all they want to do in most stores. "Sell the clothing". That's the bottom line.

I just thought of something. The decision for me isn't so much I'm afraid of the lifestyle change, but more like the water is super cold and I fear the feeling until the initial cold shock is over.
Thanks Julie!!!!

[Beauty]

Hi Kyra,

Kyra thank you!!! There's no way that I'd ask you to shush or anything close to that. You're one of the most polite people I've had the pleasure to meet.

It's good to know that you've had it done. It kind of adds another nickel in the pro's bucket because you and I, I feel, have quite a few things in common. Not to mention we're both Gemini's!

What kept me from doing it? Work and what it means to me as a TG'd person. I don't want to climb to the top of the corporate ladder or anything, but I do want to be judged by what I do and not what I wear in my ears. I can't pull off cool. Beauty can do ok, but my guy side is more like Clark Kent or Barbara Gordon. Very laid back and bordering on geeky.

The part I referred to about me being a TG'd person. Well, this would be another step towards changing the femme vs. male split in my personality. I've gotten laser hair removal surgery and now I'm getting my ears pierced. Whether I like it or not, those are two HUGE steps towards acceptance of my TG'd side. It's kind of deep, so I want to make sure I'm ok with this.

:: have some coffee ::
Let me tell you. After my second laser treatment I had a moment of no return feeling (ears can heal, but lasered facial hair doesn't return) I was like, "whoa! I can't grow a goatee anymore" That was a very weird moment. It was a panic moment too. It lasted about 5 minutes. I was looking at women differently (on television). I realized I could never have the bond they have in womanhood, but I knew soon I would no longer be able to grow hair on my face. That kind of gave me a link to them that was odd. It's hard to explain. The panic attack (nothing major) ended by me thinking, "Wow! I think this is cool!" I was happy with my decision after some deep thought. Nevertheless, I promised myself that before I made any decisions I would really think about them because there are things you can do that are "No Turning Back Now". My closeness/ability to relate with TS's who change their sex was augmented in those 5 minutes. I knew I wasn't going to have facial hair anymore. That meant a man quality was gone. Some people would view me as "less than a man" because I could no longer grow hair. I'd voluntarily given some of my manhood away by losing the ability to grow hair like other men. TSs give away all of their physical manhood when they lose their sexual organs. That also helped that 5 minutes come to an end. Me getting laser hair removal was a big step, but it wasn't as big as SRS.

Sorry about getting so deep there. I just feel, although earrings piercings are reversible, this step means a lot to me personally. It's a big one. It's me giving another part of my manhood away to make me more complete. Doing something for myself and telling the rest of the world to respect it and get over it because I want to be me, not who they want me to be. I don't do that a lot. So it's another of the reasons I'm pausing before I jump into the piercing lake.

Again though hearing things here is helping me beat down a lot of misconceptions I've had. They've also helped me stop over analyzing things. Everything is helping me gather the strength to do something I know I want for me. The words sound so simple, but it's so hard to do.

Thank you Kyra!!! As you can see, you helped me talk some of this out even more. Thanks everyone who's contributed on this threat too!!

Beauty

[Celia]

Getting my ears pierced was one of the earliest things I did when I started to feminize a couple of years ago, Beauty. I fretted about it, too--my office is very politically and socially conservative, and I was very nervous about manifesting even a tenuous hint of femininity. I started with one ear--a small, white-gold stud. This drew a comment from one of my coworkers, but only to the effect that he had considered getting his ears pierced too and had never gotten around to it. When I got the other pierced a month later, no one showed any signs of noticing. I almost always wear earrings to the office now; and though those are only studs, they're not particularly small, and they're often pearls.

It's interesting that you opted for the hair-removal treatments first. I can understand--a face that doesn't grow hair isn't conspicuously different from a clean-shaven one; but even laser treatments are fairly expensive (I don't seriously consider electrolysis), and it's definitely a more significant physical change than getting a couple of small holes in one's earlobes. Still, I certainly do envy you --I wish the hair removal were behind me and the ear-piercings ahead rather than the other way around.

Yours,
Celia

[Beauty]

Hi Celia,

Thanks for that feedback. I never thought of that. I never thought that someone would think, "I wish I'd gotten laser hair removal first now that I know how easily I would be accepted with pierced ears."

So many great responses and so much to think about!

You're right about the laser hair removal being a more significant physical change than getting my ears pierced. Those thoughts I told you about in my post to Kyra were very intense.

Thanks again Celia for taking time out to post to me!! It helped a lot.

Beauty

[Beauty]

Beauty Hi!
Now a days a man having a earring is almost as common as women wearing them. I belong to Harley Owners group and every biker I know has a earring. There seen as bad asses. I my self like i said before have piercing in both ears. Two on each ear.Put a hoop on the bottom and a stud on top sometimes even put to hoops, a big and little. There are so many men now days wearing earrings it is unbelievable. If you do get them done you have to keep the piercing earring in for at least 2-3 weeks for it to work right. Just keep turning them and putting the cleanser they give you so it doesnt get infected. Once thats all over you can wear them when ever you like, the hole will not close up and you realy cant tell that you have your ear pierced unless someone is right up on it. Anyhow I just wanted to give you support and also let you know that earpiercing isnt all that bad.
Good luck in your deciesion.
Hugs Helen

P.S Now me shaving my legs a month ago and not having the hair grow back yet , is got me in a bind. here it is getting summer and i like wearing shorts, and now i have very smooth legs like my wife. She is still laughing about that. She wishes it was that easy for her.

Hi Helen!

I appreciate your post about your piercing and your suggestions about what to do. I was thinking that I was going to take 2 weeks off to give them time to heal. After the two weeks I'd go back and wearing the thingies that pretty much make the holes invisible.

I don't really plan on wearing earrings in my male role. One of the biggest reasons being that I am not a fan of me wearing earrings en drabbe. Am I screwed up or what? It's more that it doesn't fit with my male role. As I said in another post I'm more of a Clark Kent, Peter Parker, or Barbara Gordon type of person. I don't really draw a lot of attention to myself. So it's not the fact that I would be afraid to wear them in front of other people. It's the fact that I know I couldn't do it and feel like I was being true to my male side.

I honestly wouldn't really even consider getting them done if I couldn't maintain my anonymity. I don't want anyone to know I'm a crime fighter.

Now, about shaving my legs. I think I can get away with that though. If someone were to see my shaved legs and my pierced ears I think I would be in big trouble though. I do plan on wearing shorts with my legs being shaved. I did that in my early 20's. It wasn't a big deal. I don't know why I've made it into a big one now though.
Thank you Helen!!!

Beauty

[Anne]

I have the same feelings you do Beauty - don't sweat it, your thought process is fine. I don't see how earing(s) in my office environment would fly - I'd have to try the invisible thing after a long vacation (which I never seem to get).

Thanks for the complements on the avitar - have you seen the Scooby Doo movies?

Anne

[Tara]

I know what you mean by your Clark Kent type duality you maintain Beauty. I do the same thing, in boy mode I have a pretty masculine look, but in girl mode I'm very femme.

It's gonna be harder since I just got a new job in landscaping and I'm going to have to shave tonight before I go to my first day of work, mind as well just start the job shaved and not shave in the middle of it, wierding co-workers out.

-Tara