Just a non-threatening guy in girls clothes

Richelle · Post by **Richelle** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 3:13 pm

Hi sisters,

I was wondering if some of you are like me when it comes to going out.
Since meeting and falling in love with my wife she has encouraged me to dress in clothes that are not particularly feminine for a woman, but are feminine for a man. I'm talking about the clothes that I would wear as my normal everyday non-work clothes. (for work I wear unisex clothes)

I always wear panties and a bra (even to work) but my other clothes are
women's jeans (shorts in the summer), women's t-shirts, high buttoning cardigans, worn with white tennis shoes with lavender trim or navy keds. I also have both my ears pierced and I wear a small pearl pendant and a woman's watch.

I have to tell you that I am not exactly a manly man. I am only 5ft 4in, my weight is 125 pounds, and I have women's US size 8 feet. All of my body (except for my forearms) is kept smooth and hair free. Occasionally I wear a little mascara. What I am trying to say is that both myself and my wife feel that......well.......girl's clothes just suit me and I should be wearing them! Add to this a soft and gentle (some might say wimpy nature) and that's me. I am not trying to pass and I never will without a wig and make-up, I'm just a non threatening wimpy guy in women's clothes. But hopefully not too "in your face".

I know crossdressing can be many things to many people, but I was just wondering if there was anyone else here who is like me? I do like to wear a more "complete" outfit at home most evenings. Then I wear skirts, dresses, feminine blouses, heels, a wig and inserts for my bra. My wife loves me like this too because I become even more soft and gentle in the way I think and act. My wife and I have a marrige that is built around lots of love and closeness. We are always very touchy-feely towards one another. My CDing is an extension of our love for one another, but shown in a feminine way. I don't expect everyone to understand this as it's a very personal thing between me and my wife.

Like the words of an old Whispers song - "it's a love thing".

Love Richelle

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 3:37 pm

Hi Richelle,

You've just described my own daily wardrobe!

I live in women's jeans, t-shirts and such, even when out and about on errands. I don't even own any makeup and never wear a wig outside the house. As you say, I take care not to be "in your face" about what I wear. Mostly neutral colors and no heart patterns on the jeans' pockets.

Since I don't have a SO, my dressup time in skirts or dresses is just for me. But, the rest of the time, my clothes are off the women's rack but in gender neutral (but leaning a bit toward feminine) styles and colors.

CJ · Post by CJ » Sun Jun 13, 2004 4:25 pm

Hi all,

Richelle (pleased to meet you, by the way),

I think it's wonderful the way you and your SO have connected this way, "through" your gender variance. Love, indeed, has many ways of showing each other who we are. That both you and your wife are comfortable with how you present yourself, to both her and to the world "out there," is a great treasure. Congrats, girl!

On a more amusing note (er, I think), I've also been told, while in boy mode, and by a longtime friend with whom I was madly in love, that I couldn't project the image of being "a threatening male" if my life depended on it. To this day, I'm not entirely sure how she was expecting me to receive that comment.

Oh well.

Love,
CJ

Post by **Celia** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:16 pm

Actually, it's a clever compromise, Richelle. You have the satisfaction of knowing you're en femme (in a certain sense anyway), but without the usual persecution concerns. It doesn't do much for you if you feel like overtly expressing femininity in the way you dress, but for a lot of women such expression is only occasional anyway (it can draw unneeded attention).

A little compromise can be a good thing.

Yours,
Celia

Richelle · Post by **Richelle** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:23 pm

Hi CJ,

I know exactly what you mean. Before I met my wife there were women I knew as platonic friends who would make comments to the effect of my "not being a man", or if I was at a costume party dressed as a woman (this happened 2 or 3 times) they would make a half joking but half serious comment about how the clothes looked good on me.

I know for some guys, being told that you are not manly or even implying that you are a girly wimp might be offensive, but for me it's a compliment.
I don't want to be grouped together with those rough, tough, macho types.
And fortunately for me (and I do know just how fortunate I am) I have found someone who likes these traits in her partner.

Also, I'd like to say hello to CDKathy. Wearing feminine, but not too feminine, clothes in public can be such fun. You can get away with quite a lot if you are careful. People tend to see only what they want to see. If anyone really stares at you, it's probably because they have an interest in CDing too!

Love Richelle

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:33 pm

Hi Richelle and my other sisters,

That was a lovely story Richelle you have a partner so supportive.

Many years back I bought some black jeans from a girl that encouraged me to try them on , she must have seen through my personality because I was sure they were womens jeans she gave me .
They pulled up tight around the waist and ballooned out at the hips making my hips appear wide , " thanks I'll take them".
I wore them in public everywhere .

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 8:06 pm

Richelle,
Of course you know how fortunate you are to have a very supportive SO.
Congratulations to the both of you, I think it can olny make a good relationship better. I guess we all "push the envelop" in various ways. I like to wear masacre and neutral eye shadow and lip gloss and neutral nail polish when I go out "en drab." So much fun.
Love,
Deborah

Richelle · Post by **Richelle** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:46 pm

Thanks for all of you who either read or posted to this thread.
It makes me feel welcome, especially as a new member.
Aren't there a lot of nice people around here? :-)

Love
Richelle

Suzzie · Post by **Suzzie** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:57 pm

Hello all,

I too wear womans jeans out and around. They are soo much more clingy. I buy the strech jeans and they hug nicely to my hips and upper thighs. I wear these to work every day. I have several pairs. I also have both of my ears pierced. There were the crazy comments at first about both ears being done, but now it water under the bridge. I will start looking for some femme type shirts to wear during the day. Thanks.

Love Suzzie

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:25 pm

Hi Richelle,

That's just awesome! It's times like this that I miss having a girlfriend...

I am only 5ft 4in, my weight is 125 pounds

125??? I hate you... just kidding!!!

But not only myself, I have hot GG friends who wish they weighed that...

Lacey Hadley · Post by **Lacey Hadley** » Thu Jun 17, 2004 9:51 pm

I know how you all may feel. Though I enjoy dressing fully from time to time, looking and feeling wonderful, I too also wish to incorporate Lacey into my dominant male persona who has to show his face everyday.

I have carried on with wearing panties and pantyhose basically 24/7. but those are more the touchy feely things I keep hidden under my male clothes. My other dressing reamains private except for the few times I have dressed totally enfemme and gone out.

I do wonder and desire to wear as a clean shaven and nicely dressed guy ( usually golf shirts and cotton pants, jeans etc ) my high heels, esp. my boots. My 4 inch spike heeled Granny's, to my spike heel pull on boots etc. I think about and wish I could work up my courage to just dress up like this and go about my daily business. My fears of ridicule and other possible embarrasing situations have stopped me.

I am nicely tall and thin enough to look good and in good shape. I love the way my heels look with even just my khakis or jeans on. I love heels on GG's who dress like this and I like the look on me even endrab. I just wish to pass that fear factor and wear such heels and just be myself, an nice unassuming guy who has confidence as a male, lots of girly confidence when dressed enfemme, but can't get over the hump of pushing the crossover look.

I believe that should I do this really nothing bad would likley happen as at most I'd be a curriosity, but the hint of fear that I'd suffer some embarrassment greater than could handle scares me.

This is a driving mission for me, to one day as Nike says "just do it." I know there is not much anyone here can do to help me, but I enjoy reading of others who push the envelopoe to see how it turned out for them ( hopefully good ).

thanks for listening to me and take care.

Richelle · Post by **Richelle** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 11:25 am

Hi Lacey,

Wow! wearing spiked heels when in "guy mode" seems pretty courageous to me. My "cross-over dressing" is a little more subtle. I totally understand the "fear factor" you mention. When I look back at how I used to think about wearing what I wear now, well.........I would think to myself "I want to but I just can't".

Today however, I can. I look feminized in public but not extreme. I expect people think of me as either weird or gay, or something like that, depending on how far I push the envelope. The more you do it though the easier it becomes. I tell myself......"I am what I am....a guy wearing girl's clothes".

As long as you don't go to far, and as long as you don't go to the wrong areas of town, you should be fine. Another little tip I have that I find works for me is to not give anyone eye contact unless you have to. Say you were in the mall, just look past people or away from them, then if anyone is
looking at you in a weird way, you don't see it. Almost ignore it. Others here have also said that if you act confident, (or at least not shy or embarrassed) you can get away with a lot.

Love Richelle

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:13 pm

Hi All,

I'm not so sure I would attempt to go about my daily routine in spike heels. Mostly because even the GGs around here rarely wear them so when somebody does, they kinda stand out. I'd not want to be in that position.

Now, there are quite a few "macho man" types around who typically wear cowboy type boots with 2" - 3" heels on them. I have a nice pair of mid-calf side zip boots with square toes and 3" granny type heels. I have thought about just slipping those on with a pair of my bootcut jeans. Only thing stopping me at this point is that would be such a departure from what I normally wear on my feet it would prompt questions from my family.

Not sure I'm quite ready to go there yet either.

Richelle, I am curious about what kind of tops you wear. In warmer weather I wear plain women's crew neck t-shirts but I haven't tried any kind of blouse or sweater. If I need long sleeves in cooler weather, I just throw on a "man shirt" which de-emphasizes the rest of the femme apparel I have on.

Lacey Hadley · Post by **Lacey Hadley** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 2:47 pm

Hi Richelle, and others,

About not making direct eye contact, yes it has worked for me over my years of moving up and through my cding and shopping for such stuff. I still vividly remember (who could forget theirs) my first buying experience(s) of things like pantyhose and panties etc. My nerves probably made me more noticable among store staff and public. Time has made much of that easier, though there is always that tinge as I walk into the pantyhose or lingerie section ( not so bad on outer wear though ) I have become better at looking in a wider less eye piercing or fixed scanning mode. I have learned to be more like other shoppers and go about my business. At times I'l talk to myself inside my mind that in reality nobody really notices nor cares that I am in the and selecting pantyhose or lingerie etc.

When it comes to paying, I just mind my own busines esp. if others are inline. My periphial vision is on but I try to look and act natural. A give away in my past would be my shaking hands as I fumble through my wallet and, my lack of making eye contact with the cashier. IMO, it's important to not act any differently when paying for femme things esp. more intimate stuff, so making eye contact and even some small talk at first eases you up as the time seems to go by quicker at the cashier and by being more confident and small talk chatty you give an air of confidence and that you are like anyone else who has the freedom to shop there.

But back to pushing boundries, yes it's a goal of mine to dress as a nice clean cut male, ( I alwasy present myself as such ) but explore putting a tag onto the fact that I am a cder and yes I wear spike heels... "so what are you going to do about it public ( in a nonthreatening but confident and yes exciting way )" The thought of quietly pushing my femme crossover side in such a delicate but obvious way ( high heels as you said are obvious ) tells me and others I am confident, amusing, probably an interesting person, a little eccentric and yes a cder ( tastefully pushing limits ). This is my goal. Yes I have dressed enfemme with makeup and wig, look at my avatar, and have gone out ( in safer public areas and with others ) and I love it, but I can't do that often, and yet Lacey is with me all the time. So pushing ever so noticably my limits would be a thrill and probably less scary afterwards than leading up to such.... One day, one day I'll do it, maybe with a strong supportive GG by myside.

Anne · Post by **Anne** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 4:15 pm

Rather than spike heels, maybe a larger heel - there are some boots that are more gender neutral - also the short boots can be covered by the jeans or pants so it is not so obvious.

I have found a couple of pairs of womens loafers which are somewhat neutral. On inspection, even though the size is 12M womens, they look smaller than a mans loafers. If I wore the pennyloafers around a mall I'd attract little attention. The black ones I have are textured on top with a silver accent which might be more noticable unless the pants were longer (which is rare for me as I'm tall and struggle to find pants that don't look like capris).

Anne