New girl in the neighbourhood...

[CJ]

Hi all,

There's a little restaurant that sits almost across the street from where I live. Basically, it's a "greasy spoon" kind of joint. The staff--one waitress, one cook, one owner (who hovers about restlessly)--is very friendly. So are most of the regulars. I go there two or three times a week for breakfast.

The waitress has a bit of crush on me; she calls me the "Doctor" because of my alleged resemblence to Billy Ray Cyrus, who apparently plays a doctor of some kind on some daytime soap opera or other (I play along sometimes: I order my eggs with "achy-breaky yolks"). Anyway, she and her best friend--a GG who seems to spend every morning there--know about Christina; they've seen pix of me en femme and think I could make a gorgeous customer for the restaurant (they've both been encouraging me to come as Christina, but I've told them I'm not quite ready yet for daytime scrutiny).

Anyway, to get to the point of this post, I was there last weekend, reading the Saturday papers and nursing what felt like my hundredth cup of coffee, when this handsome woman walked in and sat a couple of tables away from me. I'd never seen her before. She was about 5'8" tall, a small frame, curly black shoulder-length hair, and a pretty, if a bit angular, face. She wore a simple calf-length denim skirt, a sleeveless T-shirt, and sandals. As she sat down, she looked my way and we made fleeting eye contact. It was electrifying! She had the darkest eyes and the deepest gaze! Anyway, it might've only been a one-way current because she immediately looked away. I went back to reading the newspaper. Then, a few seconds later, the waitress went up to her to take her order, addressing her very familiarly, as though she'd known her for a long time (even giving her two pecks on the cheek--but that's nothing unusual in these parts... she does that to me also, as well to many of the regulars). But, then, I heard this newcomer's voice... it was a man's voice!!! I looked again, trying not to stare, and, sure enough, I saw what I didn't see at first glance: this lovely lady is a transsexual (at what stage of her transition, I can't tell). Anyway, she had breakfast and then left, crossing the street, heading in the same direction I do when going back home.

Yesterday, coming home, I was going up the stairs (an exterior staircase like so many that are peculiar to Montreal) when, lo and behold! down the nextdoor staircase comes the beautiful mystery gal! She's my nextdoor neighbour! This time, we greeted each other with a simple Hello and a smile. She must've just moved in; I'd never seen her before.

I have to say I'm quite thrilled at the idea that two gender-variant people could be neighbours. I'm hoping that I'll get a chance to chat with her at some point, maybe at the restaurant, who knows? Still, here comes the age-old question (dealt with elsewhere on this forum): how do I approach her without her being scared or insulted by my having read her? I guess the best thing would be for me to approach her as I would any other GG, in a manner that's friendly and warm, inviting yet muted. Just be myself, I guess. Well, we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

Love,
CJ

[Asheley]

How lucky can you be having her next to you!!
I would approche her as a neigbor, welcme her to area and invite her
for a cup of coffe or some wine!

Good luck CJ, and let me know how it goes.

Love
Asheley

[Virginia]

CJ, definitely a low-key approach. Ask her if she is new in the neighborhood, or how she likes the little diner. You might also ask the waitress how she came to know her and see what information you can get.
I know I sure would like a neighbor like that! Keep us posted.
Deborah

[Loretta Ann]

CJ.
Seeing as the waitress knows about you ask her if she would drop a hint that would let her know you are like her. I'm sure that would be a safe way to break the ice. once that is done then invite her over for tea. "Lucky Girl".

[Kathy]

Hi CJ, you lucky girl you!

As the others said, keep it low-key but mostly, just be yourself.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks for the input, girls.

I'm actually considering the low-key approach, the indirect route, if you will. First, a fact-finding mission: I'll see if the waitress knows this person as well as it seems she does. Then, maybe have her drop hints, as Darlene suggests, to the new girl-- "new girl" in more ways than one, I guess--that "I Yam what I Yam!"

She seems to be more of a weekend person so, unless I catch her on the stairs (in which case, the direct approach becomes necessary), I don't expect I'll see her that often. I'll give you news as events develop.

I'll be honest, here; I'm a bit nervous. I'm not usually too shy with women; though basically a bit of a loner, I'm fairly easygoing and sociable. I just remain myself. But this is different. I think I first need to sort out the motivations behind my interest for this person. Is it because she's a gender-slider, like me? Is it because she's physically attractive? (And what would that say about my sexual orientation--a thing I've never questioned?) Oh well, there goes my head again... always in the way of who I'm trying to naturally be! Go figure.

Again, thanks, gals.

Love,
CJ

[Carolynn]

Hi Christina. Interesting that the waitress knows about and encourages Christina, and seems to know this new stranger relatively well, at least as a "regular". Is it possible that she has already had a word with her about Christina? Just a thought.

[CJ]

Hmmm... Could be, Carolynn, could be. I think I'll find out for sure this coming weekend.

Love,
CJ

[Beauty]

Hi CJ,

You sure know how to write!

I thought it would be a good idea if you just approached her and told her about yourself. You don't even have to let on that you know she once was a man (not sure if she's Post-OP).

Then just see how it goes from there. I think if she ever told you, "I'm a TS." you'd go, "I kind of knew that already." Just a "what do you think" kind of idea.

I can't wait to hear more about her.

Beauty

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks, Beauty.

Well, you know me, Beauty, I don't tend to be very proactive or assertive; I usually let destiny rock me gently. Most of my relationships were born because of my SOs' (or, indeed, even my friends') desire to get to know me better; they were much more aggressive in initiating contact than I usually am (with the exception of the only woman I've ever fallen in love with--now, that girl I pursued, making a rather obnoxious fool of myself I'm afraid! ).

With this new girl, however, I think I might have to be a little more forward, as you say, if I really want to befriend her; she seems shy (or, at least, very private--understandably so, I think).

Anyway, as usual, I'll keep you all posted.

Love,
CJ

[Tea Cake]

Bon Jour CJ,

I enjoyed imagining your story unfolding in your neighborhood---It did make me recall a concept I read in a poetry-book( Robert Bly--I think it was)---on the mysterious woman--or woman of mystery I think the writer called it. The concept was that " feeling of potential" suddenly enters your world unexpectedly---adding a silvery element that makes for muse when refined by heart/mind.
Besides just energizing a creative side I wonder if you imagined what she might be like<<--personality,ideas,intrests-->>your favorite version of what she may be like and THEN look at those imagined traits as something you may be seeking to bring forth in yourself, and can. And that might be with never speaking to her at all-----hope that's not too wordy to follow. The fact that its a T-girl makes it all the more interesting and I believe custom cool for your custom cool being-----may a happy moon light your way--
---------------------- Tea-cake

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks, Tea-Cake.

You have a very sensitive and poetic soul. Everything you mention has, indeed, crossed my mind (heart? soul?), not only in our all too fleeting eye contact, but in my own rememberance of the encounter as well.

I'm actually leaving in a bit to go for breakfast there, so we'll see what happens (although it was in the afternoon when I saw her--I don't know yet if she does breakfast, but I'll enquire with the waitress, no doubt).

Love,
CJ

[Rebecca]

Hi CJ,
I'm going out for the night in a minute, I'm already tipsy, but one thjng for sure... you'll be there in my thoughts and heart, it will all be fine... you'll see.
Love and best wishes to you CJ
Rebecca xxx There's something in the air tonight

[Asheley]

CJ
I have not hear much about this subject for a whaile. Maybe she may still
be showing in full dress -male?? and you dont equete with them as I persive?
Have you checked her out with the waitress?
Pleas let me know since I was hopping for you!
Love
Asheley

[Kersten Lee]

CJ,
What a wonderful development! Life can be fun.

Kersten