Counseling

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Aug 17, 2004 7:19 pm

Marda,
Great advice! really! I do some of it to calm myself, I think if I did them all in one session, I would really chill-out!
Virginia

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 9:55 am

Well... I really want to go back to work, I told the Dr that I have never been off work ill before but I really want to get back but am still very scared.

She has signed me off for a further 2 weeks now and I have arranged an appointment with the counseler, a female called Ann

Dr said she is really nice so I am looking forward to that.

Also they are going to look into group therapy sessions later down the line so I just want to get on with it so I can get back to work.

Thanks for the advice, you all pretty much made me want to see a counseler, if it doesn't feel right I can always change or just not go down the counseling route.

*hugs*

Sophie xx

Tracy Babe · Post by **Tracy Babe** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 10:06 am

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS
to you babe.....

I'm here for you anytime Sophie, ok?

Take care babes xxxxxxxxx

ChristineRenee · Post by **ChristineRenee** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:56 am

Hi Sophie!

I can say from personal experience that counseling has worked, and is working for me. I went to a female psychologist back in 1991. I was 40 years old...had been crossdressing since I was 12 and didn't know why I started and why I couldn't stop. I had purged my femme clothes once by that time and had rebuilt my wardrobe twice over what I had originally when I purged it. I literally thought I was nuts and that I was the only one who was like this. I went to her for about 7 weeks. While initially it was tough because she had not ever had a case quite like mine, we were able through our sessions to identify this "person within a person" and she helped me not only to understand why I was like this but to cope with it without the guilt and shame that I had been feeling. I was single at the time, and 2 years later would meet and date my future wife to be. I told her everything up front before we even got engaged so that if she couldn't deal with this she was free to bail out of the relationship. We got married a year later and have been married for 10 years now.

My wife has tolerated my CDing but I think had always hoped I would either outgrow the need for it or just give it up after we were married. She realizes now of course that will not ever happen. We have been seeing a marriage counselor, who is also a gender specialist, for the past 3 weeks to try not only to get my wife more understanding, information, and hopefully gain more acceptance about CD's, but also to improve our overall communication as husband and wife. So far I have seen progress on these fronts and hope before we are through that we will not only communicate with each other better, but that she will be better able to understand and cope with life with a CD husband.

So yes...as far as my experience goes...I think counseling has been very, very beneficial. I would also recommend many of the excellent books out there about crossdressing such as My Husband Betty by Helen Boyd and My Husband Wears My Clothes by Peggy Rudd. These are 2 excellent reads for both the CD'er and his wife or SO. I got my copies through Amazon. com by the way, but I'm sure they are available through many outlets.

The more education that you have available to you and your SO, the better able you both will be to fully understand and deal with this issue.

Hope this helps Sophie!

xoxoxoxoxo,

Christine

JayDee · Post by **JayDee** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 9:14 pm

Sophie

A few months ago I found myself in exactly the same position as you,I was on the verge of seeing a counsellor and was a bit worried about confiding certain things.

I did decide though if the counselling was going to work then I had to divulge what I was actually there for.So instead of trying to explain everything I wrote it all down and on my second visit I gave it to my counsellor.

You can read a bit more about my concerns on this thread which I posted as I was about to start my counselling.

http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... counsellor

Overall I found it very helpful and have got a lot of things sorted in my own mind now.
I have been to see the counsellor about 15 times and have just finished.
Don,t worry I am sure you will find it helpful.

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:45 pm

JayDee that's a great idea! I think I might have to do that, but I'll see what she's like first

Hopefully I'll walk in and think, awww she's really nice.

*hugs*

Sophie xx

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 7:00 am

Sophie, so how did everything go? Hope you are well and feeling good about you.

.........Kristen

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 7:09 am

Sophie , I conpletely missed your posts, my heart was in the right place but my brain was in ( some where else) I ' ll blame it on the blonde wig. Counseling will really help i had better luck with women than male councilers. i am sure you will be better for it. when is your app. with her?.......Kristen

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 10:10 am

Wahoooo, Ann just rang me today and I am going to see her tomorrow

Just for like a lil interview I guess. I cant wait, I'm not gonna tell her anything tomorow about dressing up but she sounded so nice on the phone.

Was funny cos she rang up while I was fully dressed

Sophie xx

Tracy Babe · Post by **Tracy Babe** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 3:34 pm

good luck babe,

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow

Love n hugs
Tracy xxx

Kristen · Post by **Kristen** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 5:43 pm

sophie, Good news for you. So were you blushing when she rang and you were dressed? My brother and kids call me from back home ( Minnesota) and it seems every time they call I am completely enfem, I often wonder if i act diffenretly when I am on phone dressed. So let us know what the councilor says. Kristen

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:30 am

Kristen wrote:So were you blushing when she rang and you were dressed? My brother and kids call me from back home ( Minnesota) and it seems every time they call I am completely enfem, I often wonder if i act diffenretly when I am on phone dressed.

My Mum seems to phone a lot when I am dressed up as well, only thing I do differently is, as I have a wooden floor in the front room I have to walk very softly out into the passage. Else I'm sure mum would hear my heels clicking on the floor

Cos I always walk around when talking on the phone for some reason? Can't stand still

Sophie xx

Tracy Babe · Post by **Tracy Babe** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:43 am

i do that to - wandering from one part of the house to the other with the phone glued to my ear - he he

I'll bet you love the click clack sound of your heels on the wooden floor though, dont you?

We are having laminate flooring put down in our hallway, so that'll be fun for me to walk on soon

Love Tracy x

SophieLawson · Post by **SophieLawson** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:15 pm

ahhhaaaaaaaaa

Today was strange, I had my first thingy with the Counseler, I went in not to tell her about my cross dressing as a lot of you said it would be best to wait.

I kinda now wish I had told her, I was there for 50 mins but the time literally flew by. She was so nice, reallly really nice actually

So I think I could tell her that's why I wish I had.

She said that when I get the anxiety feeling I should picture my favourite place. This is something I already do, believe it or not I think about Sophie whenever I get the panic attacks starting, also I think about driving a Formula One car.

These things really help me relax and forget about the panic for a while, she asked me what I thought of, I could of told her the cross dressing but I didn't

Also, at the end she said it was brave of me to come here in the first place and if there was anything else on my mind I wanted to talk about. I just was thinking, SophieSophieSophieSophieSophieSophieSophieSophie ... but I said no lol

I spoke with Mum tonight and she said I will feel better when I tell her, but the only thing is the counseler is really busy and I don't have my next appointment until first week of December! arghhhh

Seems like ages away, she said I can phone her and maybe I will be able to get an appointment if someone else cancels. So there it is, as my Mum said on the phone tonight "least you have the ball rolling"

Next time I go I will sit down and just tell her about the dressing and hopefully she might be able to refer me to groups which deal with this etc

Thanks again everyone

Sophie xx

Rebecca · Post by **Rebecca** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:42 pm

Hi Sophie,

Yes, 50 minutes always flies by, I agree.

You said that she said you could phone her ? Well, why not phone her and say...." I'd just like to say that there is something I didn't mention that I know is important " Or maybe write a letter. When she knows this, she will be far more aware of you, and maybe offer help in some way.

Until the last few months I never took my gender issues seriously, they always seemed like an annoying burden. I know now that it was a huge mistake not to have come to terms with myself many yrs ago, I have held myself back in so many ways in life without really knowing. Sophie is important to you, treat her so.

I don't normally offer direct advice, rather I offer my own experience of a situation, so if this seems unsuitable, fair do, otherwise I hope this helps,

Love
Rebecca xxx