Coming out to your children
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Calina_Leigh
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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Coming out to your children
Self Removed
Last edited by Calina_Leigh on Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:32 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Loretta Ann
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Well call me a critic if you like, I don't mind if you do. As it seems in some cases it is needed.
Can you please explain to me, how in the feagen world you expect your daughter to cope when she enters school, and is among friends?
How come your daddy does not wear dresses Sally? mine does.
Or Mommy and Daddy both play house, What is the difference between daddy and mommy any how Betty?
I can not comprehend you thinking you will solve that problem by explaining to a six year old that she has to keep certain things to her self.
What a terrible selfish thing to put a child through.
I am sorry Calina I know of no other way to say this. What do you think those of society (that view this board) will think of this kind of behavior? Or is there some thing I am missing?
Please Please enlighten me?
Can you please explain to me, how in the feagen world you expect your daughter to cope when she enters school, and is among friends?
How come your daddy does not wear dresses Sally? mine does.
Or Mommy and Daddy both play house, What is the difference between daddy and mommy any how Betty?
I can not comprehend you thinking you will solve that problem by explaining to a six year old that she has to keep certain things to her self.
What a terrible selfish thing to put a child through.
I am sorry Calina I know of no other way to say this. What do you think those of society (that view this board) will think of this kind of behavior? Or is there some thing I am missing?
Please Please enlighten me?
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Calina_Leigh
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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Calina_Leigh
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Kathy
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Hi Calina,
While I do not have any children, I do remember when I was one. I also have nieces and nephews. Darlene makes some valid points. Children can be very cruel to others that are "different" in some way. It is inevitable that your daughter would compare notes with others. The potential for her being subjected to ridicule, or worse, would lead me to hold off.
However, as a parent, you should be teaching her tollerance and understanding and open mindedness as a matter of course. Hopefully, when she is older, she would be able to accept this side of you.
While I do not have any children, I do remember when I was one. I also have nieces and nephews. Darlene makes some valid points. Children can be very cruel to others that are "different" in some way. It is inevitable that your daughter would compare notes with others. The potential for her being subjected to ridicule, or worse, would lead me to hold off.
However, as a parent, you should be teaching her tollerance and understanding and open mindedness as a matter of course. Hopefully, when she is older, she would be able to accept this side of you.
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
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Lorna
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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Hi Calina,
In all honesty I would wait until she was old enough to comprehend the idea at which point she would not necessarily blurt it out to all her friends (unless they were open minded and discreet of course) But the sad truth is that kids like to blab. And then information eventually reaches the wrong ears.
Sadly, we live in a very uptight society, especially where children are involved. Things that were acceptable for children 20 or 30 years ago are not accepted today. The internet has been censored to death. You can't even say hell on television anymore. We live in a very uptight world.
You have every right to raise your child on your terms. And there is no such thing as "normal". "Normal" doesn't exist. People who think they are normal are deluded. My parents thought they were "normal". They were both as neurotic as two human beings can be.
But if you don't mind this gal's opinion, I would honestly wait until she were a few years older. Your daughter is your precious gift. As much of an emphasis I place on the importance of CDing and being happy, I do have to say that if I had a child, the best interests of the child would have to come first (I guess I feel strongly on the issue of putting the child first because my folks never did, but thats another topic)
You and your daughter are two beautiful souls. Whils she's this young, protect her from the closed-minded ignorant demons out there.
The choice is obviously yours, but it's just something to toss around a bit...
In all honesty I would wait until she was old enough to comprehend the idea at which point she would not necessarily blurt it out to all her friends (unless they were open minded and discreet of course) But the sad truth is that kids like to blab. And then information eventually reaches the wrong ears.
Sadly, we live in a very uptight society, especially where children are involved. Things that were acceptable for children 20 or 30 years ago are not accepted today. The internet has been censored to death. You can't even say hell on television anymore. We live in a very uptight world.
You have every right to raise your child on your terms. And there is no such thing as "normal". "Normal" doesn't exist. People who think they are normal are deluded. My parents thought they were "normal". They were both as neurotic as two human beings can be.
But if you don't mind this gal's opinion, I would honestly wait until she were a few years older. Your daughter is your precious gift. As much of an emphasis I place on the importance of CDing and being happy, I do have to say that if I had a child, the best interests of the child would have to come first (I guess I feel strongly on the issue of putting the child first because my folks never did, but thats another topic)
You and your daughter are two beautiful souls. Whils she's this young, protect her from the closed-minded ignorant demons out there.
The choice is obviously yours, but it's just something to toss around a bit...
Live it. Love it. OWN IT.
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Beauty
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Calina_Leigh
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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Calina_Leigh
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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Re: Coming out to your children
Self Removed
Last edited by Calina_Leigh on Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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SophieLawson
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Calina_Leigh
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Lorna
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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- Location: NY
Such is parenthood for everybody, hon, whether TG or not... But don't worry... Calina will always be a part of you and does not have to be compromised too much, hopefully...Calina_Leigh wrote:Hmmm........ I know that I will do anything in the best intrest of my daughter but now I may need to give up part of myself on what can potentially happen to her.
](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall"){kind=small}
I did have to raise my 5 y.o. niece for 6 months this year (w/o telling her of Lorna), but I'm sure any one of the gals here with their own kids can step in & give you a better answer.
Live it. Love it. OWN IT.
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Merinda
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Hayley
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- Location: Australia
Calina Darling,
Don't crawl back into the closet, just find time when your beautiful little one is at school dress during her bedtime. It is difficult being a parent at the best of times, let alone being a CD as well. Your priorities towards your daughter are spot on where teaching her tolerance and diversity is concerned, but I personally would wait until she is old enough to face up to the fact and can then make her own informed judgement.
I have not openly told my kids that I am a CD, but they know the new bra, nickers, jeans, skirts etc on the washing line are a bit too small for Mum and a bit to big for oldest daughter. They are intelligent kids and know, but they have been taught tolerance, discretion and the diversity of people. The SO and I have friends who we think are the most wonderful lesbian couple in the world, and the kids are very well aware of their love for each other. They have a bed to share when they visit, they kiss and hug like most couples in full veiw of everyone in our home. It is how we bring up our children that matters the most. But I don't wish to burden my children with my femme life. I prefer being me either on my own or with other CD's. I make time for my dressing around their lack of presence. It may not be as often as i would like, but it is still "Me Time".
Just some food for thought from another parent who has gone through the "Tell them, Don't tell them" confusion too.
In the end Calina it is your choice, and only make that choice after much thought and research, for your daughter may regret you telling/not telling. It is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make as a CD parent. Whatever your decision, keep to the courage of your convictions and decisions and never lose sight of the goals you wish to acheive for yourself and your family. Never back down once you have started. It will be a tough road to travel, but travel it with strength and dignity.
I'm sorry if this throws it back up in the air, but ultimately life as a CD parent is about choice, just like ever other parent to ever have walked the earth.
I wish you all the best and would like to keep in contact with you over this subject, if you don't mind.
My blessings to you and your family. May the sun always shine on you and your faith remain as strong as your heart.
Don't crawl back into the closet, just find time when your beautiful little one is at school dress during her bedtime. It is difficult being a parent at the best of times, let alone being a CD as well. Your priorities towards your daughter are spot on where teaching her tolerance and diversity is concerned, but I personally would wait until she is old enough to face up to the fact and can then make her own informed judgement.
I have not openly told my kids that I am a CD, but they know the new bra, nickers, jeans, skirts etc on the washing line are a bit too small for Mum and a bit to big for oldest daughter. They are intelligent kids and know, but they have been taught tolerance, discretion and the diversity of people. The SO and I have friends who we think are the most wonderful lesbian couple in the world, and the kids are very well aware of their love for each other. They have a bed to share when they visit, they kiss and hug like most couples in full veiw of everyone in our home. It is how we bring up our children that matters the most. But I don't wish to burden my children with my femme life. I prefer being me either on my own or with other CD's. I make time for my dressing around their lack of presence. It may not be as often as i would like, but it is still "Me Time".
Just some food for thought from another parent who has gone through the "Tell them, Don't tell them" confusion too.
In the end Calina it is your choice, and only make that choice after much thought and research, for your daughter may regret you telling/not telling. It is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make as a CD parent. Whatever your decision, keep to the courage of your convictions and decisions and never lose sight of the goals you wish to acheive for yourself and your family. Never back down once you have started. It will be a tough road to travel, but travel it with strength and dignity.
I'm sorry if this throws it back up in the air, but ultimately life as a CD parent is about choice, just like ever other parent to ever have walked the earth.
I wish you all the best and would like to keep in contact with you over this subject, if you don't mind.
My blessings to you and your family. May the sun always shine on you and your faith remain as strong as your heart.
Big Hugs, Juliann "Self acceptance is not the absence of fear... but the conquest of it!"
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
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- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi girls,]
Time for me to chime in here. As most of you know, all my kids now know I am a crossdresser. they are a girl 21, boy 17, boy 13, and boy 10. The two older kids have known for quite a while because I never made a great effort to hide my underdressing things, and they have been involved in doing laundry for quite some time. Not to mention they have both gone through my drawers. They both said they have known since they were about 12.
I did have to decide about telling my younger children. And I decided that to not tell them was to continue to say this is something that I am ashamed of. It is too big of a contradiction.
So now, all my daughters friends know, all my oldest son's friends know, in fact on the first day of school at introductions, he told everyone in school basically. My 13 year old son has told his best friend and I have told his best friends parents. In fact I just went out to Home Depot with his best friend's dad, fully dressed and makeup to help him solve an electrical fitting problem. It was funny I was later in his garage in a nice skirt, top, heels, pantyhose, wrenching down a fitting really tight. It was so wierd.
Anyway, the 13 year old was outted at school by somone who seen us at the Mall. And it was no big deal.
My ten year old son has told his best friend, and the rest of his friends at the apartment building know because I don't hide it.
To me hiding this part of me is akin to hiding the fact that I am left handed, as was done it the past while the person was retrained to use thier other hand, because left handed people were evil and possessed.
This is what I am, just as my kids are forced to accept my hair color, my choice of music, my politics, my choice of foods to eat, they also must accept this. As parents we are allowed and encouraged to pass on to our children our beleifs.
How can I accept myself and at the same time say I am not even acceptable to my kids? This is not about sex, or sexual knowledge, it is about how I feel on the inside. I don't think any kid is too young to know how his dad feels inside. Whether he is wearing a cowboy hat and lives in the city, or is a Farmer wearing a dress. They are the same, they are just an expression of who we are.
Although we may reconsider and outlaw the urban cowboy thing.....lol
Love always,
Elizabeth
Time for me to chime in here. As most of you know, all my kids now know I am a crossdresser. they are a girl 21, boy 17, boy 13, and boy 10. The two older kids have known for quite a while because I never made a great effort to hide my underdressing things, and they have been involved in doing laundry for quite some time. Not to mention they have both gone through my drawers. They both said they have known since they were about 12.
I did have to decide about telling my younger children. And I decided that to not tell them was to continue to say this is something that I am ashamed of. It is too big of a contradiction.
So now, all my daughters friends know, all my oldest son's friends know, in fact on the first day of school at introductions, he told everyone in school basically. My 13 year old son has told his best friend and I have told his best friends parents. In fact I just went out to Home Depot with his best friend's dad, fully dressed and makeup to help him solve an electrical fitting problem. It was funny I was later in his garage in a nice skirt, top, heels, pantyhose, wrenching down a fitting really tight. It was so wierd.
Anyway, the 13 year old was outted at school by somone who seen us at the Mall. And it was no big deal.
My ten year old son has told his best friend, and the rest of his friends at the apartment building know because I don't hide it.
To me hiding this part of me is akin to hiding the fact that I am left handed, as was done it the past while the person was retrained to use thier other hand, because left handed people were evil and possessed.
This is what I am, just as my kids are forced to accept my hair color, my choice of music, my politics, my choice of foods to eat, they also must accept this. As parents we are allowed and encouraged to pass on to our children our beleifs.
How can I accept myself and at the same time say I am not even acceptable to my kids? This is not about sex, or sexual knowledge, it is about how I feel on the inside. I don't think any kid is too young to know how his dad feels inside. Whether he is wearing a cowboy hat and lives in the city, or is a Farmer wearing a dress. They are the same, they are just an expression of who we are.
Although we may reconsider and outlaw the urban cowboy thing.....lol
Love always,
Elizabeth