Your Identity?

[Loretta Ann]

No not your legal name.

Hi all,

CJ asks you "What is your true self"? Well I ask you "how do you define yourself".? "I ask you what is your label"?

[DonnaT]

I am just me, just a person, I don't need no labels.

[Kathy]

I'm with Donna on this one.

Kathy

[Jenney Love]

I am just me!

[Elizabeth]

Hi Darlene,

I would like to think I am just me, that I don't need no labels. That I am what I am, at face value. I was very tempted to vote that way, but when I am intellectually honest with myself, that is not the case.

Main Entry: iden·ti·ty
a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual : INDIVIDUALITY b : the relation established by psychological identification

There are several definitions of "identity", I beleive this is the meaning you are refering to.

When talking about ones identity it is important to realize that we have different identities. The identity that we see ourselves is rarely the identity that others see us as. Personally, I don't see myself as being a crossdresser, as far as my identity is concerned. However, I am sure if you talked to the people I come in contact with on a daily basis, or those who know me, may see it quite differently.

I get the feeling in my own community I am "The crossdresser". In fact my son actually heard a person talking about "the crossdresser on the west side". It would appear I am known. Not as a good loving father, not as a Master Electrician, not as a person who's hobby is physics, not as a musician, not as a loving husband. In fact if you wanted to know about me from the people who see me daily, that do not know me except casually, I am "the crossdresser".

Now if you were to speak to those who really know me, it is not likely they would mention the fact that I crossdress except perhaps in passing. Indeed I do not see my identity as a crossdresser at all. It is only part of who I am. It is not an accomplishment nor does it tell you a lot about who I am or what I am about. None the less, it is still an identity that others do and will continue to see as and as far as I can tell the only way to get rid of this identity is to be passable so as not to be thought of as a crossdresser at all. This may shed some light on why some people have such a strong need to be passable.

I am just me, I don't need any labels. However that does not mean that others don't have a label for me and indeed to them, that is my identity.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Loretta Ann]

Hi all,

I did not anticipate the need to define the word identity. For the purpose of this thread. the context that I intended the word to be understood as is as follows.

Main Entry: iden·ti·ty
Pronunciation: I-'den-t&-tE, &-, -'de-n&-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Etymology: Middle French identité, from Late Latin identitat-, identitas, probably from Latin identidem repeatedly, contraction of idem et idem, literally, same and same
1 b : sameness in all that constitutes the objective reality of a thing : ONENESS.

At least to the degree that is possible given we are in an imperfect world.

PS. I will answer you here Elizabeth, as I don't feel good about taking CJs thread off course.

Perhaps I was misunderstood. I was not saying that all of us would like to actually be female, just have the ability to present ourselves as a beautiful passable woman, at the time of our own choosing, regardless to whether or not it is out in public or in the privacy of our closet where no one knows.

No hon (I have reread your post) you were not misunderstood. I do not have that need.

[Lorna]

Labels are for bottles & cans!

[Elizabeth]

Loretta,

First let me say that I absolutely love your new name. Very pretty!!!!!!

Thanks for the clarification. Sometimes what we mean or say can be confused on semantics. As I mentioned in the other thread, it is very difficult for me to grasp the concept of dressing in female clothes, yet not having the desire to present as female and apparently you are not alone, there are others who feel just like you.

That is the beautiful thing about this place. I really never cease to be amazed by our diversity as crossdresssers. It seems there are new revelations about ourselves that pop up all the time and that gives me clarity into who and what my crossdressing is all about.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[CJ]

Hi all,

It's a good thing to define terms.... just so everyone is on the same page (or, at least, in the same book ).

Having said this, I have to say I like Loretta's focus on the meaning of the word "identity": the sense of oneness we feel over time--in essence, a continuous "thread" in our own mind about our own mind. (Cool name change, by the way, Darlene!)

In the poll, I voted like everyone else, that I'm just me, a person. Frankly, I'm not sure under what circumstances someone will vote otherwise, given the fact that all other answer options are subsumed under the notion of "personhood." As Elizabeth suggested, there are many levels at which it's possible to identify--our sex, our perceived gender identity, our job, our religious or spiritual affiliations, our family relations, our nationality, our very humanity.

Personally, I've always tried to define myself in the broadest way possible. In my case, that means I'll always consider myself a human being first--regardless of my anatomical sex, gender dentity, or sexual orientation. This has the obvious advantage (well, certainly for me, at any rate) that it's also what I look for--before I look for anything else--in other people. I look to their humanity, their "human beingness," if you will. Yes, they'll have political opinions different from mine; yes, they'll have different religious affiliations, different life experiences, different social orientations, different ethnic backgrounds, different bodies and faces. I wouldn't want it any other way. What a tremendously boring world that would be! I don't think I'd ever want to be part of such a world. Like the French say: Vive la difference!

Love,
CJ

[Kathy]

I, too, much prefer Loretta's definition and, as such, my original answer stands. All the other things listed, and perhaps many more not listed, I see as roles that we play, or masks to hide behind, whether conciously or not.

Love,
Kathy

[Gelinda]

Ladies: It is the confusion of what I am and have been and the way I was brought up. That makes me wonder about these feelings and fight them so. Gelinda.

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Everyone,

This thread has turned out far more interesting than I had anticipated. Boy the thoughts that have run through my head, as I have observed the responses.

I will share some of them with you here.

Lets see now:

We don't have any cross-dressers here, even though this is a cross dressers forum?

We don't have anyone here who would say my name is________ and I am an alcoholic, drug addict etc.

No one here has defined themselves by their profession.

I must say I am impressed. That is as it should be.

I chose...None of the above.
Because to just be me, just a person, not needing any labels, dose not pay proper tribute to who I am.

Nor does it (IMO) pay proper tribute to some of those on this forum. We have here some of the finest people I have ever had the privilege of communicating with. That in-spite of the fact that (among them) there are those with whom I disagree.

Which only goes to High light the point, that
being just me, just a person, who don't need no labels, appears to lack something.

To illustrate this there are (to this point) 10 people who have said I don't need no labels here.
Yet not any two of them are alike. So then what is just me? just a person? How do you define that?

I guess I am not content to settle for something that can not be defined. There are murders etc in our world who are also a just me, just a person, who don't need no labels. And I am not sure I would be willing to group myself with them.

We have all heard the term be care full what you wish for you just might get it. Perhaps a more appropriate term to concern us selves with is be careful of the label we attach to our selves. As the label we give our-self determines how close we will be able to come to reaching that place.

I (personally) need a label, the label I accept plays a big part in the kind of a person I will become. In my situation my Christian affiliation provides that for me. First and foremost I am a child of the most high God. Not that I will ever be able to reach equality with him. But the closer I am able to be like him the more of myself gets out of the way. Resulting in being able to become a stronger and better person. And the more that happens the more happy I am with myself.

In closing I want to thank those who have supported my name change. The reason for it is that I have out grown the reason I chose it, since I have been here. It (Darlene) is a label I am now discarding, so that I can move on. Elizabeth I too think the name is prettier, and probably a bit softer.

[Sallee]

I am many thing a CD is one of them as is a father and a husband and a working stif etc etc etc labels are tough lets just be people..Sallee

[Loretta Ann]

lets just be people.

Is that something that is hard to do? Is there another choice?

If we do not change our direction
we are likely to end up where we are headed.

Where are you headed?

[Absaroka]

It looks like we all actually agree on something. How unusual.

Now that we have agreed that we just are and as Lorna so well put it labels are for bottles and cans, I wonder if actually the question was really something else. Was the question not who are we but what are we? Because I can use lots of labels there and I think that this too is a very valuable question. Also what are we not? For example am I not a murderer. I suppose it is possible I could become one. Far, far less likely is that I would become some sort of sociopath who doesn't care about it after. An extreme example to be sure.

Andrea