I told my SO about my crossdressing

SharonRose · Post by **SharonRose** » Thu Dec 25, 2003 9:13 pm

Today I told my GF about my crossdressing. We have been together for about a month, and I knew there was something special between us. As we have grown closer, I knew I had to tell her.

I had been planning this for several days. I got some advice from other CD websites (see my post under the Poll: When should you tell . . . thread), and wrote out what I was going to say in my own words. I practiced it all week until I had the gist of it.

She came over to my apartment this afternoon. We chatted for a bit and even joked around which helped to calm my nerves somewhat. But I knew I had to get it off my chest.

So, I asked her if she noticed my lack of body hair (she has seen me without my shirt on). She said she had noticed. I asked what she thought of it. She said it was ok. She assumed it was because of my running that I shave. I said that is part of it. But I told her I needed to be honest with her in our relationship, that I cared for her and didn't want to keep the truth from her.

I told her I was a crossdresser, but I'm not gay, and I'm not transexual (not that there's anything wrong with either of those lifestyles, but its not who I am). I told her that I've only recently come to terms with this part of my life after crossdressing for many years.

She WAS a bit surprised. I let it sink in, and asked her how she felt. She said she was willing to see how things go, she didn't run out the door or start screaming or get upset or anything like that.

She asked me a few questions about my dressing. I told her my femme name, that I belong to a support group, and go out dressed for shopping and occasionally for dinner. I told her I have pictures which I can show her when she is ready. I also said I didn't want to overwhelm her so I didn't say any more except to answer her questions. She joked a bit and said something like "I bet you have some outfits that are even nicer than mine." She also told me she had a close friend who was gay and who died of AIDS several years ago.

I was so relieved, a great weight had been lifted off me. After that we held each other for a long time, and kissed each other. I made us some lunch. Then we went for a nice walk, and to see the movie "Elf", which was kind of appropriate since its a Christmas movie, and about someone who is a human who thinks he's an Elf. After that I took her to a nice dinner. Luckily there was a Thai restaurant open in my neigborhood.

I feel so lucky to have someone who is willing to give me a chance. There are some special people out there, if you look hard enough you will find them.

Jadeanne · Post by **Jadeanne** » Thu Dec 25, 2003 9:46 pm

SharonRose,

That is GREAT news!

Your preparation sure paid off. This is really a Christmas to remember for you.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

Jadeanne

Gaven McLaren · Post by **Gaven McLaren** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 1:49 am

Good for you and based on how well she took it. Your relationship my workout for you both. I will hold a small little place in my heart for the both of you. Please keep us informed on how this is going.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 4:57 am

Hi Sharon Rose,

That rocks!

I know how difficult this was for you. You did the right thing and you know it.

You handled this as perfectly as anyone could have.

I'm sure everyone here will be very proud of you too!!

(like you've already seen)

It's so cool how you allowed the truth to guide you early in the relationship versus deceit in this relationship or denial of who you are to her.

YAY SHARON ROSE!!!!

Ok, now question time.

How did she react the rest of the day? Like what did she do as far as her mannerisms? Did you hold hands? Was there an intimate good night kiss? If you're not comfortable discussing it, I respect that.

I'm just so proud of you, you have no idea!

When we have our support meetings (and I actually show up) I gravitate towards you immediately. I'm beginning to understand more and more why I do that.

Beauty

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:05 am

SharonRose, congrads to you

.The first step is the hardest now it's her move. Good luck and keep us posted

SharonRose · Post by **SharonRose** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 8:56 am

Beauty,

After I told her, we were just as affectionate as we had been before.

I hope to see you at the next meeting

Sharon Rose

GalicianGirl(SO) · Post by **GalicianGirl(SO)** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 10:42 am

From one Sharon to another,

I know this section is just for CD's but when I read your post I just had to respond.

I just wanted to say that I am so happy for you. It is so great that your girlfriend is at least open and willing to "hang in there". It sounds like you did your homework and I'm sure that made a big difference in how she feels.

Your girlfriend is really lucky to find someone like you who is open and honest with her. It's a great way to start a good strong realationship...

I want to wish you the best with your relationship. Keep us posted on how things go...

Hugs,
Sharon(SO)

SharonRose · Post by **SharonRose** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 11:26 am

Thanks Sharon

Sharon Rose

Nancy · Post by **Nancy** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 1:06 pm

Sharon, congrats on what you have done. From here your relationship with your girlfriend can go in many different directions but at least you have crossed, what can be, one of the biggest issues a couple needs to deal with off the list. How things go from here still require some thought and preperation and a lot of understanding on both parts.

As a CD that did not come out to my wife until some ten years after we were married, I have alsways felt and thought if I had it to do over again I would come out to my partner early in our relationship.

Once the truth is out then the decisions the two of you will make will be based on how things really are and that is a very big plus in a relationship.

Please do keep us informed as to how things go we all love to see things go well but if not we are all here for you to turn too also.

SharonRose · Post by **SharonRose** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 1:40 pm

Thanks Nancy. I agree completely.

Sharon Rose

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 2:31 pm

Hi Sharon,

That was great to hear! $\:D/$ $\:D/$

I assumed it did, but you know what that does.

Beauty

Charlene · Post by **Charlene** » Fri Dec 26, 2003 11:56 pm

Wow, That's awsome news SharonRose. Congratulations. I'm really happy for you.

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Sat Dec 27, 2003 12:10 am

Your post sounds very promising Sharon Rose.

All my best wishes to you both while you work out your relationship from this point.

CJ · Post by CJ » Sun Dec 28, 2003 9:53 pm

Hi Sharon,

A rose to you for courage and honesty,
A rose to your beloved for openness and breadth of soul,
A rose to you both for letting more love find its way into the world.

Congrats!

Love,
CJ

SharonRose · Post by **SharonRose** » Sun Dec 28, 2003 11:20 pm

Here is a quick update . . .

My GF asked me a few more questions today: when I started crossdressing, how often I dress, where I go when dressed, etc. I answered her questions as honestly as I could.

She is still processing all of this information and I'm letting her go at her own pace. I'm happy that she is trying to understand this and is willing to see how our relationship develops.

I'd like to thank all of you for your encouraging words.

Sharon Rose