How a salesperson feels about crossdressers in their store?

[Daniel]

Dear GG(hopefully one who works in a clothing store),

It's rumored that salespeople in clothing stores get some kind of CD awareness training. If this were true, it would absolutely blow me away. The main question I have here is, what's your stance on known crossdressers buying clothing for themselves?

Thanks in advance,

Daniel

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Daniel

I'm not a salesperson, never have been nor do I personally know any, so I cannot answer your question from that perspective. However, I will answer your question based on my own personal beliefs.

The main question I have here is, what's your stance on known crossdressers buying clothing for themselves?

Personally, I think it's no one's business but yours (i.e., the shopper's) why or for whom the various clothes are being purchased. I think everyone has enough to worry about without minding someone else's business, especially if no harm is being done to anyone.

That being said, the only problem I could possibly foresee is if you (the CD) are in a store that caters solely to women and you wish to try on the items before purchase. In that case, I believe a talk with the manager on duty is required before utilizing the dressing rooms - to ensure there would not be any problems with you (the male) being in there, especially if there were other women in the dressing rooms at the same time.

If there were a problem - i.e., too many women using the dressing rooms, etc. - then ask if they possibly have an employee's restroom that you may use to try on the clothes, or if there would be a better time for you to come in when there are generally less female customers.

If the store is not willing to make accomodations, then ask what their returns policy is so you may try the clothing on at home and return any items that don't fit.

I believe that most stores would gladly work with the customer, if only from a good public relations standpoint.

[Stephanie H]

Daniel:
As someone who shops on a weekly basis, I do not know if they have had any type of training, but have found that the staff in the various shops that I frequent, Dress Barn Women, Payless, and Talberts' are always supporting and helpful.
I have found that the suggestion that SilverLady presents ie dressing room access is right on target and should be followed when in doubt.
I have had situations where there have been numerous women in the shop and on more than one occassion the staff has guided me or the other women to dressing rooms on the other side of the store to ensure that all are comfortable.
I have had two occasions where I was in one room and another women to the room 2 doors down and we both exited at about the same time to check ourselves in the mirror. There was no issue between us and the staff was right there to ensure that both of us were paid attention to and received the support that we need from the staff.
So do they have formal training I do not know but I do know, they are pleasent and supportive

[DeniseL]

Daniel:

I too have had no problem with trying on clothes in a store that caters soly to women or a chain such as sears that caters to every one. I usually try to shop enfemme wether it be wearing ladies slacks or a skirt.

I was in a Dress Barn, last Nov, and tried on a suit. The sales girl, asked how it fit, and invited me to use the 3 way mirror to see how it fit from all sides. She did comment that it fit well and also hung well.
I asked her about tops, and her comment was, come out into the store and see what you could find. If felt so nice to be treated like a lady.

I was in a wal-mart, on a day that was resonable busy. Wal-mart dressing rooms for men and ladies are side by side, and have an attendent.
When i had a skirt to try on, the attendent, just gave me the usual tag as to how many pieces I had, and immediately with out hesitation, directed me to a change room in the ladies section.

The big thing I found, is be confident, and act like it is normal to be shopping for ladies clothes, and act like any other lady would.

Denise

[SilverLady(SO)]

(Deleted Member) Barbie wrote:

In my experience . . . I have found that the service I receive is less than that given to GG's in the store.

Have you asked to speak with the store manager about this lack of service from the sales staff? I still maintain that most stores will gladly work with a customer - male or female - if only from a good public relations standpoint. If you still feel that their service is less than satisfactory, let the manager know that not only will you be taking your business elsewhere, but you will also be informing your friends and family about their lack of customer service. Whether you actually do tell friends or family is your business, but it does get the point across to management.

I have heard from other CD's, that shopping with a GG makes all the difference in the world. Sales staff are more open to helping you, as they can communicate with the GG as well.

While I have heard that from other CDs on this site, I also personally know of quite a few CDs who shop on their own - in either femme or drab - and they have rarely encountered a problem from sales staff. Some stores may be more 'alternative lifestyle' friendly than others, but most stores consider a sale is a sale, no matter the customer's gender.

- SL

[SilverLady(SO)]

It's rumored that salespeople in clothing stores get some kind of CD awareness training.

I am in email contact with Jane Ellen Fairfax, of Tri-Ess, and I was recently informed by her that almost all corporations do indeed provide CD awareness as part of their training programs - most especially for those in any public service-related industry.

By public service-related industry, Jane was referring to stores, restaurants, and the travel industry (most especially airlines and security screeners at the airports), but also government employees, medical fields, and police-fire-rescue, just to name a few.

The key to all that training, of course, is that the employee must remember to treat everyone the same way - pleasantly and with kindness, fairness and courtesy.


- SL

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

I have worked in retail in the past and was not formally instructed but it was implied as Silverladyhad stated as common courtesy.One of my first experiences as a teen working in an upscale store with was waiting on an older gentleman who liked to fight with the women for the sale bras and panties. He was known affectionaltely as the "bra man" because he would wear his shirt open to reveal just a hint of his brightly colored lace bra.
When I asked the other sales people if I had seen correctly when I first spotted him, they answered yes and that he had been coming there for years and always treated him with high regard as his credit cards said "Dr."

[TiffanyF]

When I asked the other sales people if I had seen correctly when I first spotted him, they answered yes and that he had been coming there for years and always treated him with high regard as his credit cards said "Dr."

In my personal experience I find that sales people really don't care who you are as long as you can pay. I believe many of the sales people out there work on commission and the more they sell the better for them. I've had people ask me if I'm buying for my spouse/gf and when I tell them it is for me some of them even go (as good sales people) to lengths to get me to buy more things and sometimes I do (bad girl )

I think if I were a sales person I would even go far as to announce myself in CD boards in the area and say "I work at store X if you come then look for me and I'll do my best to help you with your shopping".

As for my personal shopping, I live in Toronto and in all my shopping excursions I've had but one bad experience buying a pair of shoes where the guy behind the counter kept saying in a loud voice things like "nice shoes" and taking a lot of time charging me for them. I guess he thought I would be uncomfortable and leave after that since the store packed with women. Unfortunately for him the ladies kept to their business and I bought the shoes.

The only thing that still causes a bit of an internal dilemma for me, when I go shopping, is when I see a girl behind the counter that I am attracted to. Then my mind just starts wondering what she might think of me buying there and even though I know I will probably never see her again. I can't help it so I chicken out and avoid the store.

[Nina Femrite]

At 6' tall, it's hard for me to find a good selection of clothes that fit. I found tall etc, a clothing store for tall women, on line and also noticed that they have retail stores around the country. In an email to their corporate office, I asked them what their policy is on men shopping in their stores. They promptly replied that they welcome everyone in their stores.

I went to one of their stores that was, fortunately, not too far from my home. Browsing, I picked out a couple of things that I thought might fit but I was doing in under the pretext that I was shopping for someone else. As I was checking out, the clerk looked me in the eye and softly asked if I'd like to try on the items I had out. I thanked her profusely and accepted her offer. She brought me dozens of other things to try on and I bought way too much. It was a remarkable experience - to be treated with respect!
Nina

[SilverLady(SO)]

Nina -

Another store to try is Tall Girl Shop, which has both brick-and-mortar stores as well as online shopping. They can be found at: www.tallgirlshop.com . A CD friend of mine, who is 6'1", buys her clothes almost exclusively with this company as she found them to be very accurate in their sizing, and they are CD-friendly, also. They also sell shoes in their Canadian stores and online.

- SL

[Becky]

Ive a couple of stores in the local area that Ill shop en femme occasionally. Know the sales girls now and they are terrific.

[Gardenia_SO]

Hi all:

First, I'm very glad to find that there are lots of stores out there that don't treat CDs badly. My BF goes out en femme occasionally, and I worry sometimes that salesclerks or other customers will ridicule him.

That said, I have to share my opinions...

- I can't say enough about Nordstrom. Yes, they're on the expensive side (oh, but honey... when they have a sale, they have a SALE!). The service makes up for the hefty prices. They have the most professional staff around and carry a wide variety of sizes, so even if you're a 6'2 gal who wears a size 13 shoe, there's bound to be something there for you.

- My BF and I go out shopping together while he's in "drab mode," and even though we've gone as far as to test eyeshadows on his hands (ladies--never, EVER test on your face! bacteria is everywhere on those testers), no salesperson has ever said anything to us. We've gotten a few smiles and double-takes, but most salespeople are a) busy or b) consumed with making the sale to say anything.

- I might be opening myself to loads of flames, but when I'm in the dressing room trying stuff on, I really don't want a biological male in the booth next to me. No offense, but please ask a manager or salesperson to make sure that the changing rooms are clear before you try on that silk dress, ok?

-Gardenia

[SilverLady(SO)]

Gardenia wrote:

I might be opening myself to loads of flames, but when I'm in the dressing room trying stuff on, I really don't want a biological male in the booth next to me. No offense, but please ask a manager or salesperson to make sure that the changing rooms are clear before you try on that silk dress, ok?

Well, I won't flame you, Gardenia, as everyone is entitled to their opinions. I do agree, however, and I've stated this above, that the CD should ask a salesperson or manager before utilizing the dressing rooms.

Personally, though, I feel if the person is presenting as a female then they should be treated as a female - and be able to use the dressing rooms (and restrooms) accordingly. However, the CD should also be polite and courteous, and act like a lady, while in those '-rooms' and not draw any undue attention or criticism (i.e., they should not cause or create a scene). By acting lady-like in the dressing room, etc., the CD will also be helping to create a positive image in the minds of others, helping to break down the negativity associated with being CD, one person at a time.

- SL

[Loy B(SO)]

We have been very fortunate that everywhere he ahs been to get clothes the sales people have always been super friendly and helpful.We have a store called Priscillas in our area that is great.It is an adult store that carries some beautiful lingerie.As I have said my husband started dressing for Rocky Horror Picture show and alot of the sales people from Priscillas would attend theese shows so they know my husband and know what he likes to wear.

[DeniseL]

About 3 weeks ago I had to go to the city for a medical apointment and obviously had to go en-drab.

Being an hour and half from home, this is where i usually go to shop, as it is the closest large city with malls etc.

I stopped into a Ladies wear store that i go to often, but usually femme.

At the time there were not many people in the store, so i wanted to browse the sale racks, as I am a bit of a sale person.

The sales girl asked if she could help as soon i got there, so naturally i said i was just browsing.

I did find a dress and matching skirt and top set, that i was kind of interested in. I guess that when i was holding it up in front of me, the sales girl must have seen me looking at it closely, so came over again to see if she could help. We chatted a bit, then out of the blue, she asked, would you like to try them on, i will set up a changing room for you.
I was delighted when asked, and promptly said yes.
While i was trying on the items, she, also found another dress on the sale rack, in my size for me to try. This one also fit very well.

I ended up buying 2 dresses and the skirt and top set. When paying I got chatting with the sales girl a bit, and asked if they had many TG people come into the store. She told me they had a few, and that is did not bother them at all, about us being there, and after all a sale is a sale, regardless to whom, and also that they were just clothes.

If felt so nice to be treated as a lady, even in drab, and to know that we were well accepted in that store

Denise