THE OFFICIAL: Bad Jokes Thread #1 ** LOCKED **

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:57 pm

Hi, Stephanie W!!!!

(For all the guys who enjoy a good laugh, and all the ladies who have a good sense of humour).

- - I laugh at you all the time, my dear (Silly) Girlfriend!!

I'm glad you're back and providing the laughs, my dear best friend - - I really missed seeing you here - and, of course, I missed all the razzing from you, too!!

- SL

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:04 pm

SL

Didn't seem as though I was away that long but judging by the number of posts I'm trying to catch up on, I guess it was longer than it seemed. Nice to be back though

.

I'm so glad you can enjoy a good laugh at my expense.

It wouldn't be fair that I have all the fun laughing at you as much as I do. Your dh must live with a perm-a-smile

being around you all day with such a wealth of things to poke fun at!

As for razzing ya, hey, what would my day be without it?

Stephanie

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:22 pm

SW -

As for razzing ya, hey, what would my day be without it?

I feel the same way about you, girlfriend!!!!

- SL

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:58 pm

OPEN LETTER TO THE PURDUE CHICKEN CORP.

Dear Mr. Purdue:

You proclaim that you produce healthy chicken. I'd like to do a quick compare and contrast.

This is a healthy chicken:

So I consulted a vet with your chicken:

And the vet said: "That is a decidely dead chicken!"

(insert groans here)

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:05 pm

Little Johnny

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day, they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well, Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?” Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies, “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, “Okay, then, how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Jenny.” Again, Johnny instantly replies, “Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment, trying to come up with something that Johnny won’t have an answer to.

Finally, Mr. Smith says, “Well, Johnny, it seems like you have everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?” Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, sir, we’ve been lucky so far.”

Mr. Smith doesn’t think the little manure is adorable any more.

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:08 am

SilverLady(F) wrote:Little Johnny

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day, they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well, Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?” Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies, “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, “Okay, then, how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Jenny.” Again, Johnny instantly replies, “Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment, trying to come up with something that Johnny won’t have an answer to.

Finally, Mr. Smith says, “Well, Johnny, it seems like you have everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?” Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, sir, we’ve been lucky so far.”

Mr. Smith doesn’t think the little manure is adorable any more.

Oh no, LOL!!!!! That was awesome!!!!

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:11 am

I may have posted this way back when, but I'll post it again...

Q. How is eating p***y like the Mafia?
A. One slip of the tongue & you're in deep sh*t!

Post by **DonnaT** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:02 am

SilverLady(F) wrote:[Finally, Mr. Smith says, “Well, Johnny, it seems like you have everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?” Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, sir, we’ve been lucky so far.”

Mr. Smith doesn’t think the little manure is adorable any more.

Almost made me spill my tea!

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:29 pm

DonnaT wrote: Almost made me spill my tea!

about your tea, Donna!!

- SL

Sally · Post by **Sally** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:42 pm

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

.
..............................................

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Raven(SO) · Post by **Raven(SO)** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:36 am

You girls are so funny

Raven(SO)

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:31 pm

But, but Sally, he was Blonde!!!!
Actually, an ex football player with pro aspirations that had too much steroids might be a better explanation, should one be needed.

Then again, Blonde-ness is a state of mind.

Yeah, I know, you thought he might be in the state of Oklahoma, but maybe terminal confusion would be more appropriate!!

One of my old friends had a lucky shirt, that if he wore it his football team would win. Wouldn't wash it!! Finally, in desperation, his wife had "an accident" with it, and the team lost!! They've been divorced 5 years now.

Carolynn

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 12:40 pm

A man brings a sheep into the bedroom where his wife is already in bed. The man says, "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with whenever you have a headache."

The wife said to him, "Ummmm, that is a sheep, you moron!"

To which the husband replied, "I was talking to the sheep!"

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 2:05 pm

UHMMMMMM-hmmm. Your gonna get in soooo much trouble for that one!!!!!

Here's another

A senior citizen called her Doc.s office, a bit perturbed. "Is it true", she asked, "that I will be taking this new medicine for the rest of my life?"

"Yep, afraid so," replied the Doc.

"Well," She said, "Just how serious is my condition? This bottle is marked "NO REFILLS"!!

Jeannie · Post by **Jeannie** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 4:53 pm

Lorna! You're soooo bad.

I love it. Lucky you're so cute!

Love
Jeannie

PS. Don't get into so many altercations. It's really tough on the nails! I still just love you're electric guitar pose Lorna. What a sweety!

Crossdressers-Haven.com

THE OFFICIAL: Bad Jokes Thread #1 LOCKED

the bad jokes thread

hey

LOL!