Skirts/dresses vs pants

[Steffie]

Hi all,

I always hear that in places like malls, it is always better for a CDer to wear pants as opposed to a skirt or dress and heels. However, at heart, I always prefer to wear a skirt/heels (or a dress) but my wife is partial to pants (which she always wears herself) and lately has swayed me to wear pants if I go out. I can understand her reasoning but I want to still ask other GG's: Are there any public places besides malls where more women wear skirts or dresses (from your experiences)? I have all these skirts too (and also some dresses) that I got before I started going out in public (I wore in my house) and I would hate to use them for CDer meetings only (i.e., only in the confines of the meeting room).

I am about 6 ft 1 in and about 185 lbs. I hope there are other places where I can at least occasionally wear skirt/heels (not more than 1-2 inch). Even if it is occasional (compared to pants), at least I can get some use but I don't want to really STICK OUT in the crowd either. Can I please get the opinion of some of the GG's? Thank you for your help.

Steffie

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Steffie

Very good question you presented, and one that made me really think about the answer. There is no 'one' correct answer.

I usually see more women wearing skirts/dresses at restaurants, to the club for dinner-dances, parties, or to the theatre for a musical, a concert, etc. - more 'dressed up' occasions. Generally, women tend to wear slacks/shorts for shopping because they are usually wearing lower heels or 'tennies' - easier to walk faster in them and more comfortable for that type of activity. On the other hand, I do know of some women who wear only skirts/dresses no matter their activity - it's just something that they prefer to wear, for whatever the reason.

When I was still working, as a paralegal I usually wore skirts/dresses all the time, and I thought nothing of going shopping after work while still dressed up. The high heels were very comfortable for me and did not interefere with my walking an entire mall. You will almost never see me wearing a skirt or dress with flats, possibly sandals or keds-type tennies. Partly due to my height (I'm 5'3"), a skirt/dress requires wearing high heels, and I look much better, so I dress accordingly.

Now that I'm in 'retirement' mode and living here in FL, I'm usually wearing skorts, shorts, jeans, or slacks for everyday wear, and an appropriate sandal, keds or tennies to complete the outfit. I don't like wearing 'flats' although I do with some dressier slacks on rare occasions - and that's only when my sciatica is acting up; the dressier outfits 'require' me to wear high heels - I look better wearing them.

I guess the answer to your question, then, is: wear what you are most comfortable wearing, because you will be more relaxed and less 'anxious' or nervous. If Steffie is more comfortable wearing skirts or dresses - no matter the activity - then that's what she should wear.

You will tend to 'stick out' in a crowd if you are acting anxious or nervous about your appearance.

[Stephanie W]

Following on from Steffie's original question, it appears that a woman's choice to wear pants has more to do with feeling comfortable than anything else. OK, so do most women see skirts or dresses as inherently more dressy then, regardless of the occasion? I ask that because personally, I find those kinds of clothes (particularly a mid-length satin nightgown) to be some of the most comfortable garments to wear, with pants being totally uncomfortable by comparison.

Thinking out loud again, I wonder if that feeling of comfort in your choice of pants comes more from a psychological place than a physical one. (i.e the perception that one feels pants contribute to a more slimmer look than a skirt or that you don't have to worry about your dignity in a certain outfit). Hence being 'more comfortable'. Clear as mud?

Stephanie

[Georgia(SO)]

So many questions, so few answers!

I can't speak for all women, etc., etc., but I do feel dressier, and sexier, in a dress or skirt. As with SilverLady, I'm 5'3 (and 1/2!), so for the most part, dresses and skirts require some sort of heels or I just look short and dumpy. (The exception being, of course, some sort of flippy little summer dress that goes nicely with flat sandals.) And I don't care at all for the look of heels without stockings unless, again, they are some sort of sandal. So, when I wear dresses or skirts, I am fully decked out, and interestingly, now that you mention it, much more aware of my feminity.

Pants, for me, are a practical clothing choice. I can bend over in pants without revealing more than I wish to, etc. Certainly, for me, pants are a choice based on the activity, and as SilverLady mentioned, whether I want to be traipsing around in heels. Even though I have worn heels all my adult life - I *love* good shoes - they are only comfortable if I'm in practice. The last several years, working at home and dressing up only for meetings and stuff, I generally run around barefooted and the last time I put heels on - well, let's just say it wasn't pretty!

Are pants/dress/skirt a psychological choice? Yeah, I guess so, too. If I want to pull out all my girl power for some reason or other - high powered meeting, for example, I will be in some sort of skirted/dress suit kind of thing. It always intrigued me that early feminists (i.e. 1970s) felt more powerful in clothing that mimicked masculine business attire. I understood the concept (I am not just a sex object so quit looking at me), but I feel considerably more powerful as a woman and dressed in a spiffy skirt or long dress with a jacket. Is it a sexual powerfulness? Possibly. I suspect that's in there somewhere, but it's more of a cockiness that comes with a short skirt and the click of good heels on the floor.

As for the mall, sheez. I haven't *dressed* up to go shopping since 8th grade! Unless, of course, I'm looking for something particular to go with a particular pair of shoes, and must wear the shoes, and therefore must wear *something* into the mall that will go decently with the shoes before I find the new thing that will go with the shoes. Actually, I *despise* malls and shopping and therefore go as little as possible. I'm not the one to talk to on this!

-g

[Curly(SO)]

I'm in the 5'3" club too I feel more short and dumpy in trousers (I think I have short legs) so have far more skirts and dresses than trousers. I never feel inappropriately dressed in a skirt, even when the majority of other GG's may be wearing trousers or jeans. I actually quite enjoy feeling more glam or dressy than other GG's I never dress to just blend in with the crowd...I dress to please myself, and skirts and dresses do it for me! As for comfort I'm with you, Stephanie, in that I find skirts more comfortable both physically and psychologically.

You will tend to 'stick out' in a crowd if you are acting anxious or nervous about your appearance

That is very true, S.L....So, Steffie, I'd say if you want to wear skirts or dresses whenever, do so, but hold your head high and wear with confidence!

Good Luck!

Love,
Curly(SO)

[SilverLady(SO)]

I'm appropriating Gracie's line as mine now:

I *knew* if I waited long enough, someone would say it for me - and much better, too!

I think we three GG's just formed the "5-3 Club", I'm glad to know I'm not alone in the shorter stature department!!

I have to agree with just about everything Georgia says, although I have no problem transitioning from going barefoot or wearing tennis shoes into wearing high heels - I guess I'm just lucky.

Georgia wrote:

...for the most part, dresses and skirts require some sort of heels or I just look short and dumpy. (The exception being, of course, some sort of flippy little summer dress that goes nicely with flat sandals.) And I don't care at all for the look of heels without stockings unless, again, they are some sort of sandal. So, when I wear dresses or skirts, I am fully decked out, and interestingly, now that you mention it, much more aware of my feminity.

I think Georgia and I must be twins with different parents - - I couldn't agree more with what she wrote!

Dressing up for mall shopping - or just about any shopping, really - I guess I do tend to 'dress up' a bit more, not to the 'nines' lately, but dressed-up casual wear, since I'm usually shopping by myself. Wearing high heels or not would depend solely on my outfit. However, if I were to be shopping with my girlfriend, who loves shopping (and is always finding bargains!) as much as I do, then we'd both be more dressed up for a "girl's day out".

I agree with Curly, too, in that I never dress to just blend in with the crowd. I dress to please myself first, others second. I'm equally comfortable in slacks, jeans, shorts, skorts, skirts or dresses, so I tend to dress more for the activity or occasion.

Curly said it best: ".... hold your head high and wear with confidence!"



- SL

[Stephanie W]

Thank you ladies for your most enlightening responses.

To Georgia....

So, when I wear dresses or skirts, I am fully decked out, and interestingly, now that you mention it, much more aware of my feminity.

That makes perfect sense.

If I want to pull out all my girl power for some reason or other - high powered meeting, for example, I will be in some sort of skirted/dress suit kind of thing. .....I understood the concept (I am not just a sex object so quit looking at me), but I feel considerably more powerful as a woman and dressed in a spiffy skirt or long dress with a jacket. Is it a sexual powerfulness? Possibly. I suspect that's in there somewhere, but it's more of a cockiness that comes with a short skirt and the click of good heels on the floor.

I have always believed in the power of clothes and the effects it can have on the people around you. I'm sure there may be some feminists out there who will disagree with you for using your femininity to make a statement but I'm sure even they would do so if they needed to. ....sereptiously of course!

To Curly....

I feel more short and dumpy in trousers (I think I have short legs) so have far more skirts and dresses than trousers. I never feel inappropriately dressed in a skirt, even when the majority of other GG's may be wearing trousers or jeans. I actually quite enjoy feeling more glam or dressy than other GG's I never dress to just blend in with the crowd...I dress to please myself, and skirts and dresses do it for me! As for comfort I'm with you, Stephanie, in that I find skirts more comfortable both physically and psychologically.

I'm glad to hear that. These days, it seems most women are trying to get away from overtly femme clothing so I'm glad to know you aren't bowing to a trend. Do what makes you feel good. I had always wondered about what motivated a women to a particular clothing choice but based on this small sampling, I feel a little more educated today. Thx.

To SilverLady....

I have no problem transitioning....................I guess I'm just lucky.

Hmm, an interesting comment, especially in a forum such as this.

Stephanie

[SilverLady(SO)]

To Stephanie...

To SilverLady....
Quote:
I have no problem transitioning....................I guess I'm just lucky.
Hmm, an interesting comment, especially in a forum such as this.

Hey, what can I say! I see my best, and silly, girlfriends 'transitioning' all the time, so it just sort of 'rubs off' onto me!



- SL