Since finding out that I am a SO to a cross-dresser, I have been very aware of CDing references. Is it just me, or do others notice, there is rarely a day goes by that one doesn't hear a mocking remark, or derisory joke about CDing? This is friends, aquaintances and on television. It seems like CDing is something to laugh about. There is a comedy on TV here in England at the moment, that has a sketch about a transvestite that does CDers no favours at all. In fact I find it quite offensive and unfunny.
Maybe I'm being over-sensitive, sometimes my hubby and myself can have a giggle at it all and not take it too seriously, but there is a line to be drawn, and ridicule is across that line.
Maybe cross-dressers themselves are making some of these (less offensive) remarks, to bring Cding more out in the open. I have heard my own husband make the odd remark to friends...maybe to test their reaction...which is always one of laughter.
Would love to hear other people's experiences!
Curly(SO)
Mocking Cross-Dressing
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Curly(SO)
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CJ
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Hi Curly,
Long time no hear! As far as ridicule goes, what can one do? I have to say a man has to have a pretty thick skin to wear thin panties and dresses.
If the comments are good-natured, I don't let them bother me; on the other hand, if they're derogatory and mean-spirited, I'll speak up. As I would for any other kind of putdown of a specifically targeted group of people.
Having said this, I try to retain a sense of humour about my own transvestism; seeing Dustin Hoffman stumble and hobble around in Tootsie (in the scene where he first tries to pull on his pantyhose) just rings too true not to burst out laughing. I think people are entitled to their opinion, but if I also think their opinion is based on myth and misconception, I will step in and attempt to clear up some of those hackneyed stereotypes crossdressers always seem to have to battle against.
It could be that people often resort to (sometimes questionable) humour in order to dispell anxiety caused by things or subjects alien or unfamiliar to them. The solution? Make the subject more familiar to them. Educate them. With compassion. And with humour.
Love,
CJ
Long time no hear! As far as ridicule goes, what can one do? I have to say a man has to have a pretty thick skin to wear thin panties and dresses.
If the comments are good-natured, I don't let them bother me; on the other hand, if they're derogatory and mean-spirited, I'll speak up. As I would for any other kind of putdown of a specifically targeted group of people.Having said this, I try to retain a sense of humour about my own transvestism; seeing Dustin Hoffman stumble and hobble around in Tootsie (in the scene where he first tries to pull on his pantyhose) just rings too true not to burst out laughing. I think people are entitled to their opinion, but if I also think their opinion is based on myth and misconception, I will step in and attempt to clear up some of those hackneyed stereotypes crossdressers always seem to have to battle against.
It could be that people often resort to (sometimes questionable) humour in order to dispell anxiety caused by things or subjects alien or unfamiliar to them. The solution? Make the subject more familiar to them. Educate them. With compassion. And with humour.
Love,
CJ
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Anne
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Sometimes comedy is a good way to introduce a subject - being gay was comedic for a long time (in the UK there was that sitcom about the department store with one male clerk who was gay, I forget the name, rather old now) - now "Gay TV" is all the rage, with not just comedy but some serious stuff.
CD has also been in comedy for a long time - uncle Milton Berle and Flip Wilson being two examples.
I'm not saying some of this hurts the image also. But there will be a time (probably when I'm so old I can't CD) that this will bloom into the mainstream (most likely with the young adults) and I will have missed the fun.
CD has also been in comedy for a long time - uncle Milton Berle and Flip Wilson being two examples.
I'm not saying some of this hurts the image also. But there will be a time (probably when I'm so old I can't CD) that this will bloom into the mainstream (most likely with the young adults) and I will have missed the fun.
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CJ
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Hi Anne,
The show you refer to is a Brit sitcom called Are You Being Served? It ran from 1973 to 1984. It was a very funny show (I'm tempted to say "fabulous"). "Mr. Humphries" (the grey-haired gent) was, indeed, a gay character long before it was fashionable to have gay characters on television.
However, transgendered folks also had their own moment in the spotlight with American sitcoms such as Soap (Billy Crystal) and Busom Buddies (Tom Hanks). I never really caught these particular shows, so I don't know what kind of "girly" humour they had in there. (Back in the 70s, I was a Sanford and Son girl myself!)
Love,
CJ
The show you refer to is a Brit sitcom called Are You Being Served? It ran from 1973 to 1984. It was a very funny show (I'm tempted to say "fabulous"). "Mr. Humphries" (the grey-haired gent) was, indeed, a gay character long before it was fashionable to have gay characters on television.
However, transgendered folks also had their own moment in the spotlight with American sitcoms such as Soap (Billy Crystal) and Busom Buddies (Tom Hanks). I never really caught these particular shows, so I don't know what kind of "girly" humour they had in there. (Back in the 70s, I was a Sanford and Son girl myself!)
Love,
CJ
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LeftyRainbow(SO)
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As Television reference go.....Klinger on M.A.S.H. was always my favorite.
Here are 3 positive things his character did on the show.
1. Proved that Gender Dysphoria is not a psycological illness (even though he always flaunted it in hopes that he would be discharged).
2. Flaunted it and still had the respect of his fellow officers.
3. When he finally was able to go home , he decided to stay because he had fallen in love with a women there (where they were stationed).
Proving that he was indeed heterosexual .
O.K., no need to write my thesis on it or anything just wanted to mention it.
Personally ,on the other hand, I am always shocked by some people telling me what or what they wouldn't "put up with" or their interpretation of what's "right".
I don't diagnose their relationships or judge their romantic decisions and I expect the same.
I try to take it for what it's worth and that isn't very much, unfortunately.
That's why it is important for me to belong to groups like this forum where I am not judged based on my TG views.
Or at least not viewed negatively
Here are 3 positive things his character did on the show.
1. Proved that Gender Dysphoria is not a psycological illness (even though he always flaunted it in hopes that he would be discharged).
2. Flaunted it and still had the respect of his fellow officers.
3. When he finally was able to go home , he decided to stay because he had fallen in love with a women there (where they were stationed).
Proving that he was indeed heterosexual .
O.K., no need to write my thesis on it or anything just wanted to mention it.
Personally ,on the other hand, I am always shocked by some people telling me what or what they wouldn't "put up with" or their interpretation of what's "right".
I don't diagnose their relationships or judge their romantic decisions and I expect the same.
I try to take it for what it's worth and that isn't very much, unfortunately.
That's why it is important for me to belong to groups like this forum where I am not judged based on my TG views.
Or at least not viewed negatively
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Carolynn
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Hi CJ. The Soap character was very short lived, as Mr. Crystal's character thought he was gay and dressing as a girl would make him attractive to his hunk. I think he was only shown dressed maybe once or twice.
The Bosom Buddies was a sitcom with the premise that two normal guys were tired to living in dumps because that's all they could afford, and found that a special apartment building catering only to girls (one of whom they worked with and one of whom Hanks was hot for) had cheap rent for great places, and there was a vacancy. So the guys dressed up as their "sisters" and somehow bamboozled the apartment. Complication was that they had to leave the building as the girls, then change for work, then change back to come home. Resulted in several interesting set-ups, but in general not really about crossdressing, just the usual sit com with a slight twist.
The Bosom Buddies was a sitcom with the premise that two normal guys were tired to living in dumps because that's all they could afford, and found that a special apartment building catering only to girls (one of whom they worked with and one of whom Hanks was hot for) had cheap rent for great places, and there was a vacancy. So the guys dressed up as their "sisters" and somehow bamboozled the apartment. Complication was that they had to leave the building as the girls, then change for work, then change back to come home. Resulted in several interesting set-ups, but in general not really about crossdressing, just the usual sit com with a slight twist.
"It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,"
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Stephanie Higgins
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I think that the joke and the laughter is a good thing. It gets Cding out in to the public but the jokes and laughter arent the main problem.
The main problem is the sterotypes that say that all Cders are gay or are Drag Queens. (like on the news they say that Cders are in Drag, though most of the time they are Drag Queens it says to the public that men in womens clothes are drag queens).
But by far the worst thing is the hate that alot of people feel for us. (Jadhe news article prove that one). I think that with these jokes at sometime rather it be in a day or 100 years one day we will be accepted in to "the norm"
Stephanie
The main problem is the sterotypes that say that all Cders are gay or are Drag Queens. (like on the news they say that Cders are in Drag, though most of the time they are Drag Queens it says to the public that men in womens clothes are drag queens).
But by far the worst thing is the hate that alot of people feel for us. (Jadhe news article prove that one). I think that with these jokes at sometime rather it be in a day or 100 years one day we will be accepted in to "the norm"
Stephanie
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Beauty
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Curly(SO)
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I see where you're coming from...good-natured humour is fine, and helps bring CDing more into public awareness, and eventually acceptance. It was mainly this one character on a certain comedy show that rubbed me up the wrong way, it had crossed the line and was ridiculing CDing, that is what I didn't like.
BTW, I grew up with 'Are You Being Served'. I loved John Inman's campness, though, being a child at the time, the brilliant innuendos totally went over my head!
Curly X
BTW, I grew up with 'Are You Being Served'. I loved John Inman's campness, though, being a child at the time, the brilliant innuendos totally went over my head!
Curly X
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Beauty
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CJ
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Hi all,
If you want to see a portrayal of crossdressing in film that is anything but campy and ridiculous, you should check out Just Like A Woman, with Julie Walters. It's very sensitive and charming--if a bit uneven and marred by a frivolous ending. I still think this 1994 British film is worth a look-see. I wish Hollywood could dish up this kind of stuff (I'm all Tootsied- and Mrs Doubtfired-out!)
http://www.tvguide.com/Movies/database/ ... p?MI=36208
Love,
CJ
If you want to see a portrayal of crossdressing in film that is anything but campy and ridiculous, you should check out Just Like A Woman, with Julie Walters. It's very sensitive and charming--if a bit uneven and marred by a frivolous ending. I still think this 1994 British film is worth a look-see. I wish Hollywood could dish up this kind of stuff (I'm all Tootsied- and Mrs Doubtfired-out!)
http://www.tvguide.com/Movies/database/ ... p?MI=36208
Love,
CJ
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RikkiOfLA
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I hope this post doesn't bore people to tears.
To me one of the more interesting aspects of humor directed at groups of people (ethnic humor etc.) is the political implication. If you look at the process of gaining acceptance in America (not sure about how it works in other countries such as Britain), humor is part of the process.
All groups start out as more or less invisible to the entertainment media. At this stage, their numbers are small, they are completely marginalized, etc. This would be the state that, for example, people with autism are in today.
Next, they begin to be visible, and the visibility is often notoriety. What pretend to be serious discussions of real people are in fact vicious, insensitive slams. The people portraying the members of the group are actors, who may or may not be members of the group themselves. This is the style of shows like Jerry Springer.
In the third stage, stereotypically humorous portrayals of the group become popular. This is the stage that crossdressers are in today. Broad humor is performed based on popular stereotypes of the group. The humor demeans the group, but it is less vicious than the stage before, because people are taking it less and less seriously. This is the stage crossdressing is in. The gay community was at this stage in the 80s. The black community went through the minstrel-show cycle. Earlier, stage shows mocked Jews, Irish, Germans, and so on.
In the fourth stage, members of the community begin to perform, portraying the stereotype. The minstrel shows began to employ real black actors, singers, and comedians. Steppin Fetchitt made the transition to films and became one of the first black millionaires. The gay community was at this stage in the nineties. These performers sometimes bring subtle nuances and sensitivity to their portrayals. The Mexican comedian Cantinflas was famous for portraying real pathos.
In the fifth stage, members of the community stop laughing and begin protesting the treatment they receive at the hands of the media. They begin to complain about stereotyping. The gay community is at this stage today.
In the sixth stage, realistic, sympathetic, three-dimensional portrayals emerge. Recall Sidney Poitier and Bill Cosby in the Black community. Ellen DeGeneris is at this stage among the gay community--a little ahead of her time.
In the seventh stage, ethnic humor has come around to the other side. Now members of the group are portraying themselves, sharing the humor from their own community with the rest of society. This is the stage of the African-American community today and the Jewish Community in the 50s. Real political power has developed.
It's interesting to see this process repeat itself for new groups, and to see where we are today.
To me one of the more interesting aspects of humor directed at groups of people (ethnic humor etc.) is the political implication. If you look at the process of gaining acceptance in America (not sure about how it works in other countries such as Britain), humor is part of the process.
All groups start out as more or less invisible to the entertainment media. At this stage, their numbers are small, they are completely marginalized, etc. This would be the state that, for example, people with autism are in today.
Next, they begin to be visible, and the visibility is often notoriety. What pretend to be serious discussions of real people are in fact vicious, insensitive slams. The people portraying the members of the group are actors, who may or may not be members of the group themselves. This is the style of shows like Jerry Springer.
In the third stage, stereotypically humorous portrayals of the group become popular. This is the stage that crossdressers are in today. Broad humor is performed based on popular stereotypes of the group. The humor demeans the group, but it is less vicious than the stage before, because people are taking it less and less seriously. This is the stage crossdressing is in. The gay community was at this stage in the 80s. The black community went through the minstrel-show cycle. Earlier, stage shows mocked Jews, Irish, Germans, and so on.
In the fourth stage, members of the community begin to perform, portraying the stereotype. The minstrel shows began to employ real black actors, singers, and comedians. Steppin Fetchitt made the transition to films and became one of the first black millionaires. The gay community was at this stage in the nineties. These performers sometimes bring subtle nuances and sensitivity to their portrayals. The Mexican comedian Cantinflas was famous for portraying real pathos.
In the fifth stage, members of the community stop laughing and begin protesting the treatment they receive at the hands of the media. They begin to complain about stereotyping. The gay community is at this stage today.
In the sixth stage, realistic, sympathetic, three-dimensional portrayals emerge. Recall Sidney Poitier and Bill Cosby in the Black community. Ellen DeGeneris is at this stage among the gay community--a little ahead of her time.
In the seventh stage, ethnic humor has come around to the other side. Now members of the group are portraying themselves, sharing the humor from their own community with the rest of society. This is the stage of the African-American community today and the Jewish Community in the 50s. Real political power has developed.
It's interesting to see this process repeat itself for new groups, and to see where we are today.
Love and respect,
Rikki
Rikki
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CJ
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Beauty
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No way was it boring!
Thanks for the great post. Did you ever know that you're my hero?
I didn't know the phases were broken out like that. They make complete sense too. You're right on the money!!
Even on the CDDF I've been in awe of your wisdom. Does it ever stop? lol
Don't worry, I'm falling short of idol worship. But you are in my personal rock star class! 
I hope your post will "possibly" enlighten some who feel that laughter isn't the best medicine.
Thanks again Rikki!!!
Beauty
Thanks for the great post. Did you ever know that you're my hero?
I didn't know the phases were broken out like that. They make complete sense too. You're right on the money!!
Even on the CDDF I've been in awe of your wisdom. Does it ever stop? lol
Don't worry, I'm falling short of idol worship.
But you are in my personal rock star class! I hope your post will "possibly" enlighten some who feel that laughter isn't the best medicine.
Thanks again Rikki!!!
Beauty