Pepper Spray

[SharonRose]

I thought I would post this here since it came up in another thread, where we were discussing self-defense while out and about.

CJ recommended the pepper spray which can be disguised as a pager.

Here is a link to such a product. Note that pepper spray may be illegal in some states and Canada.

http://www.selfdefenseproducts.com/pager.htm

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? It seems like a sensible precaution to carry something like this in your purse.

[Jessie]

I have seen tazer that looks simular to a cellphone.

Jessie

[CJ]

Hi all,

Thanks for the link, Sharon. I have to point out, though, that it wasn't me who recommended pepper spray, it was Alexandra who recommended it to me (and to us all).

Pepper spray makes me a bit nervous; many Canadians, I think, might feel a bit queasy about using it, especially after our former fearless leader's unfortunate comment following the RCMP's liberal use of the stuff on protesters in Vancouver's 1997 APEC summit ("Pepper? Me, pepper, I put it on my plate.")

There's a "security specialist" store nearby; I'll check into it anyway. But the biggest part of me refuses to endorse the culture of fear (I wouldn't, however, stake my life on that conviction).

Love,
CJ

[Alexandra]

IMO guns, knives and tazers should NOT be used unless you're trained to use them under stressful conditions otherwise you'll find your "weapons" in the hands of the perps.

the pager pepper spray doesn't look like a weapon and the perp will not know you have one until the timing is right for a safe escape after using it and the perp is taken by surprise.

(when you pull out a tazer, knife or gun, there is no turning back.)

[Jadhe]

I don't like to carry weapons of any kind. Not that I even need to, as I'm not going out when dressed. Of course, I can still be robbed/beaten. It's a nasty world.

But still, I rather rely on my martial arts skills, even though I haven't been training them for a while, I still remember most of what I learned over the years.

[CJ]

Hi Jadhe,

Yeah, I hear you. Still, martial arts might not be an option if you're wearing a hobble skirt and heels...

Love,
CJ

[Jadhe]

But they do it in the movies!

*does a back heel kick wearing a skirt and heels*

See! It's that easy!

[CJ]

Hmmmm. Methinks the girl has watched Charlie's Angels too many times, perhaps... (Actually, I can picture Drew Barrymore with a pepper spray pager, for some reason!)

Love,
CJ

[Carolynn]

Yeah, but it would just be for fun!!

[Lacey Hadley]

Hi...

The best thing one can do for personal self protection is to carry yourself with confidence. Not arrogance or looking for trouble. Victims of most crimes ( that is vs. unknown assailients ) are generally advertising themselves as weak and a lack of self esteem. Now I realise it is not easy to be confident esp. being a xdresser and having that internal ( and at times unrealistic ) fear inside. We all want to fit in our society and we know that cding as innocent it really is can seperate us from that society. We then show a simple fear even if underneath ourselves. This keeps many of us ( inc. myself to varying levels ) from achieving our desires to address our cding to what ever level we wish. BUT! confidence along with just being yourself will greatly reduce any trouble in most aspects of daily life. If you are a fully enfemme cder, even if you are 'read' virtually all people will treat you like any other female or just be oblivious to you. If you dress in a mixture of drab and femme ( androgynous ) you can assert yourself by just walking tall and being confident , but not looking for trouble. In this case ( IMO ) again most people will either turn away or hardly notice you. If they take notice I feel they will be currious as to your look and demeanor. You are in control of such and can either engage in contact ( generally sociable talk ) or carry on about your way.

Now some places would not be safe to be out and about alone be it enfemme or androgynous, generally at night in parts of town where trouble can exist. If you are into going out to clubs or more adult orientated places at night, I'd suggest your best defence is being with a group of people who are by yourside and can include cders, GG's or open minded males. TROUBLE MAKERS will avoid such as most troublemakers are narrow-minded and low browed who would only want to make trouble with you if they know you cannot defend yourself. A group of people along with you (ALL MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS ) will deter such potential problems from such touble makers.

But if you are confronted be it alone in day or out with others at night, DIPLOMACY will be the first thing you can do, but assertiveness by your character will do much to deter any trouble. In the end showing that you will stand for yourself and esp. along with others will be a better weapon than any tool you can carry. Remember if thugs are to give you trouble, they will more likely do so when they know they outnumber you, your weapon if you try to use it can be used against you.

Learning to defend yourself to make a get away is not a bad thing aslong as it does not raise your BRAVADO ( esp. if you are out drinking ) because those thugs could know how to fight too. You (WE) must always have our judgement clear and quick if we are want to be out in public enfemme or androgynous. Going to areas that are safe for most in public ( day or night ) will offer us the protection we need, but may not stop others from staring or making comments. This is a burdon we at times must deal with ( if we are to desire to be out in public ) LOOKING FOR TROUBLE while wearing a dress and heels will bring it to you, so just like in general life, most in society do not look for trouble, it is our best defence not to while dressed, BUT! again we should build CONFIDENCE in who we are and that it is our lives and we are hurting NOBODY.

Finally as I noted earlier, if your out clubbing etc. STAY AWAY from partaking in much or any of that LIQUID COURAGE. We still have the male testosserone in us and BOOZE can make us search for trouble. A lady even if she has a few drinks rarely becomes a beligerant ( if she does she is not a lady ) Cding can be tough and it requires us to have our wits about us.

Sorry for the length of my post, but I wanted to add my 2cents. TRUST ME, I'm still dealing with opening myself up to being confident to carry myself enfemme or androgynous in public, it's not always easy esp. wondering what others are thinking and saying.

take care all.

[CJ]

Hi Lacey,

I agree wholeheartedly with what you say. Confidence and diplomacy go a long way to smoothing out an en femme soirée. On another board, someone suggested we should also try to avoid the infamous CD "pan and scan" (where a CD will be constantly glancing around to evaluate the impact her appearance has on others). This person said that the best possible deportment is to hold your head up, look straight ahead, and walk with confidence, as though nothing in the world came more naturally to you.

Rikki had interesting views on the matter in another thread (link below: see her Nov. 21 post). Her contention (and a right one it is, I think) being that people won't bother you if you look and behave as though you have every right to be where you are--because, ultimately, you do have every right to be where you are. Just be nice. And, yes, be confident.

http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... 7&start=15

Love,
CJ

[Jadhe]

One thing seems more certain each passing day for me, I'll never have the courage to go out in public, all dressed up cute and girly. Unless I have a mob of other crossdressers with me.

As nice as it sounds, I don't think confidence is going to protect you all that much. Who knows, but I have my doubts.

[Stephanie Higgins]

I think that at least I will go out en femme, and see how that turns out. Hopefully that will turn great so that I'll go out again.

But not for quite awhile after 21 that is for sure.

Stephanie

[Jadhe]

Well if you're one of those lucky ones that can look girly enough, so people won't notice you're a boy, then you should go out dressed as often as you can.

I'm yet not sure where I fit in. I've never actually tried to make myself as girly as possible. I've yet to get myself enough make-up. That's the next thing I'll have to buy. I'm curious to see what I can make myself look like. Not sure if I need a wig or not...I'll have to think about that more.

I think the best style for me would be the tomboy style. There's no need for me to try and look any older than I am.

[Lacey Hadley]

Hi Lacey,

I agree wholeheartedly with what you say. Confidence and diplomacy go a long way to smoothing out an en femme soirée. On another board, someone suggested we should also try to avoid the infamous CD "pan and scan" (where a CD will be constantly glancing around to evaluate the impact her appearance has on others). This person said that the best possible deportment is to hold your head up, look straight ahead, and walk with confidence, as though nothing in the world came more naturally to you.

Rikki had interesting views on the matter in another thread (link below: see her Nov. 21 post). Her contention (and a right one it is, I think) being that people won't bother you if you look and behave as though you have every right to be where you are--because, ultimately, you do have every right to be where you are. Just be nice. And, yes, be confident.

http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... 7&start=15

Love,
CJ

HI...

Yes, we would do better not to show anxiety during xdressing. This is easier said than done though, but I know ( even though I still fear taking bold steps ) that the more one goes out the easier it is, to conduct yourself in peace and even pass. The public in most places where we are apt to go wil either not notice us or show a curriosity that in itself is not threatening. Confidence will reduce the chances some moron who drags his/her knuckles on the ground will bother us or worse.

Confidence will allow us to even be a little over the top ( as compared to most GG'S ) in dress as lets be honest we xdress to enjoy the more feminine and even sexy clothes. I do not xdress in sweats and a t-shirt, I can do that endrab. I dress up to atleast a more semi- formal state and yes it might be a little overdressed if I were to be out and about, if I conducted myself as you said with a right to be there, I would be tolerated at worst and accepted at best.

In our GUY mode we are generally oblivious to the world around us as we walk about ( accept looking at nice GG"s ) but women are more aware for numereous reasons and I think this in conjunction with a fact we are a minority makes us do similar. If I can make a point it would be similar to a coloured person being about around a majority of white people. They naturally are aware that they are in the minority, they may not fear anything or anyone but they are aware of their surroundings. I have not done much cding out and about, but I can undersatand that anxiety as misplaced as it truly can be.

Passing is not just about having others believe you are a women. NO! it is more about how you carry yourself, you are passing even if are looked at with curriosity or are 'read' as long as you are conducting yourself enfemme. I think most people either do not care or actually show an interest in a cder who is passing so to say. I think many GG's might find it interesting to see this xdreser being enfemme.

Dressing androngynous means you do not want to pass, but want to just be who you are, even then I feel most will hardly care or will take notice but not rock the boat. Maybe some may smirk or make a comment, but if you just BE YOURSELF very few will want to confront you, most people do not want to pick fights as nobody wants to possibly bite off more than they can chew. Again some knuckle draggers might try, but in your confidence they will mostly back down.

IMO, I think most cders or tgers who have gotten into trouble did so by not being clear with others esp. males and/or used booze or drugs to affect their thinking and were looking for trouble ( NOT ALWAYS BUT IMO MOSTLY ) A guy at the best of times does not want to be embarrassed, its compounded if a cder or tger played games with him esp. around his friends. I think most of us cders just want to mingle about and innocently be girls. If a guy notices us ( in pure innocence or curriosity ) I think this is OK and not taboo. If a guy were to hit on a cder or tger, I think we should be upfront and clear to note to him who we are and I think most guys will be fine with the honesty or if it is their thing to want to be with a cder or tger they will then know and the truth will be better. We then if it is in our makeup of character may choose to partake.

Anyways just more rambling by myself..