TO COPE?

[Ronnie M]

what "I" am having trouble dealing with,...

and yeah..it's probably JUST me....but I doubt it.

am I not welcome here or what is the manure here?

the more I post the less I feel welcome.............
and I see more here concerning couples and very damned little dealing with single people........

as I said...could just be me..I am not emotionally sound as it is......
I got papers to prove it......

but I just want a straight forward answer here.............................


if I ain't damned welcome.........someone say so........

[Absaroka]

There certainly hasn't been anything in your posts that offended me.

Theres a lot here concerning couples because a lot of the members here happen to be part of a couple and this can be very troubling to our SOs. The website I believe was founded by a couple to discuss some of these issues. But nothing against singles and I would not want you to feel unwelcome in any way.

Absaroka.

[Elizabeth]

Ronnie,

I am sorry that you are not feeling welcome here, it certainly is not a conspiracy. This is a very casual site and people only answer posts that interest them. Everyone at one time or another has posts that go unanswered or even just a few replies. Sometimes people don't know what to say, other times a post may appear to be rhetorical.

This is a support site and family members are encouraged to sign up and post. Because of this, we ask that you refrain from using profane language. It's ok to be upset or even angry, these are normal emotions we all feel. However, please express yourself without swearing at others because they do not respond in a way that you find satisfactory.

Again, I don't want you to feel like you are not welcome. I have never seen a more loving gathering of human beings than I have met here, and if you feel slighted, it is not by design. Hang in there, get to know everyone, you will see what I mean.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Kyra]

Hi Ronnie,
I'll have to agree with what Elizabeth said. I do exactly what she said. I post in threads that are relevent to me. I read almost everything but only post when I've something to say.

Please don't feel unwelcome. I don't think it was intentional to hurt your feelings.

Hugs,
Kyra

[Jill S]

I have no problem with singles here. I did join this forum vs the other major one because it seems more geared towards married CDs . We that are married were single once, or more times. Most of us have gone thru the dateing/ singels deal to get here. Welcome.

[MLee(SO)]

I am sorry you’re having such feelings.
As for me, I see no posts that have offended me.
Frustrations are understood as we all go through them from one time to another.
Single or couple this site has much to offer one who, like me, is interested in what others think on this issue.

I have not seen anyone not welcome each other and believe this is a forum where all interested parties say what they wish depending on the topic and such. There are many topics I pass over for the sake of time, sometimes.

Some I think, like me, simply read through and mostly I find some one has already posted what I am thinking so I just move on to read the rest of what this site offers.

I am learning much from here, as I feel there is always something new to learn in what others say. I don’t always know what to post as I am so new at this in my life.
New people joining almost daily discovering there is so much here to read and try to catch up on with just reading all there is here it is not easy for some like me, not sure what to say at times.
I wish you well and hope you understand some of us don’t come here daily as real life interferes with computer time a lot.

[Kira Dias]

Ronnie,

I completely understand your feelings, I now read postings and try to comment as little as possible. I have been censored, attacked, and had comments eliminated only to see the same or similar questions and statements repeated. The moderator of this sight seems to have her steady and pre-approved contributors that are easily accepted, I say this despite the fact that her willingness to protect us is admirable.

It is a tough group to penetrate, but the people here do allow you to know that the thoughts and feelings you have ARE experienced by others like you. It's like choosing a political party, all groups have flaws but you have to find the good in it and apply the group members to your life as best you can.

[Kira Dias]

Oops, instead of sight, that should be site (as in website).

[Virginia]

Hi Ronnie,
What Elizabeth has said as well as our other sisters is what usually happens. Some posts are replied to quickly and those that read them may feel the same way and see no need to "reinvent the wheel" so to speak, or there are topics that some of us just don't feel we can adequately contribute to. I can give you a quick example. There is a current "thread" going concerning music and CD'ing and these gals get to talking about musicians and groups that I have never heard of so I read them and marvel at their expertise in that field but I don't post because I would have nothing useful to contribute. I just over all marvel at the intelligence and expertise in the wide range of fields that our sisters have and take what I think will benefit me and if I can contribute something that I think will help, then I do.
So don't feel unwelcomed - you are not! The range and variety of girls here is what make this forum work. No favorites, rules yes, but no one is treated any better or worse than anyone else - well unless you have been drug off to the woodshed as many times as I have - Yes, yes, I know most of it deserved!!!!
Love you all!
Virginia

[CJ]

Hi all,

Ronnie,

What happens when people post depends on so many factors. As already mentioned in a couple of the replies above, people often respond more quickly when they feel the topic is relevant to some aspect of their own lives or when they think they can contribute something significant to the thread. Sometimes, things are just slow. There are lulls. It happens.

My suggestion, Ronnie, is, just don't get discouraged and don't take a slow thread too personally. Things eventually pick up. Yes, it does happen that threads fall flat but, oh! surprise! some new member picks it up two weeks or three months down the road and it gets resuscitated.

About the singles/couples thing, it varies. While it's true that many members here are partnered, some are also single. Some, like myself or Sharon Rose, came here single and became partnered while others, originally partnered, became single (and, often, partnered once more). And that's the whole point; relationship issues are, over the long term, a main focus (but not the only one) of this web site--regardless of whether any individual member is, at any given time, single or partnered.

So don't worry too much about "dry" threads, Ronnie. They happen. It doesn't necessarily mean that people don't like you or that you're not welcome here. You are. Although it's true that the core membership here feels like a family group of sorts, I can tell you from experience that it's not a family that's in the habit of turning anyone away without some very good (and soundly deliberated) reason. So, please, just relax and enjoy yourself.

If I haven't done so formally, I do so now: welcome aboard, Ronnie!

Love,
CJ

[Jamie Sue]

One more thing Ronnie,

Things are not solved over night, I read this forum just about every day, however I only responed to some of the postings. It's not a personnel attack against any only. I take the information that has been provided. Some is great and somethings do not apply. You just hang in, and you will see some great information coming your way.

Jamie Sue

[Jeannie]

Hi Ronnie
I'm positive that no one here hates you. People post things and we get our backs up but that's life. I've opened my big mouth too many times and have been taken to the woodshed but I dislike no one here. Don't feel bad if someone disagrees with you. This is a great forum. I doubt if you will find a better group of people anywhere on the internet. You're more than welcome here. Just talk things out and that's all it takes. We're all in the same boat here Hon. Enjoy the cruise. Hugs


Love
Jeannie

PS Religion and politics are the killers Ronnie. People go mental! LOL! I try to stay away but get sucked in now and then. I should know better! Have a good time here.

[Ronnie M]

yo'kay
listed under if it matters;

yeah--I have a paranoid personality/persecution complex and have a good case of PTSD.......

and yeah..I got meds from the VA..
so yeah..I tend to--get my back up a lot. too much probably.
no..not going into why when who...
so THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.
it is nice to see replies where I figured there would be none.

so...I'll apologize to ya all........it's a me thing.


again------------thank you.

ronnie

[Colette]

Hi Ronnie,

It sounds like you are already feeling some resolution and I am happy for you. But I too want to add that no matter what your perceptions, ideas, reactions, feelings, etc are, I am happy to have everyone here contributing as much as they are able. I check the site often hoping to see a new thread, with people's up to date feelings and experiences being expressed. Often the activity is slow and I feel disappointed when there isn't any new thought to read. The more participation the better.

You know, you responded to a post of mine even though my point didn't really connect with you. That is a really admirable and honoring thing to do. It seems from that that you wish to connect with people. That is the most amazing human quality from my viewpoint. People live their lives doing their best to hide from others, no matter how much they may have in common.

Last night i had plans to go out with my usual drinking buddies, one guy and two women. Well, the plans fell through and no one even told me. One of the women even made plans with another mutual friend and they didn't invite me along. I was dissappointed to say the least. I called another friend and her and another mutual friend (some of my closest friends in fact - one who has dressed me up and another who said she would do my makeup) were going out and they didn't ask me if I wanted to come along. I have lots of what I call "mind talk" about these things, including that no one really wants me around and that I am not worth pursuing - I do all the pursuing. If that is true, then I just flat out am not worth much. Horse crap!

But no matter how someone else responds to me or doesn't respond, if I am clear I know that I am truly valuable. I am an amazing human being. My crosdressing in fact adds, not to my value, but to my character. Your sense of self, your willingness to admit the truth of who you are and to to seek resolution, tells me that you too have plenty to offer the world. No matter how anyone else responds to you, no matter what happens around you, you are an amazing human being. I hope one day that no matter what you see from other people, you will know just who you are and how valuable you are and nothing outside of you will be able to change that.

Thank you for expressing your feelings. It is a truly courageous act whenever it happens.

Love,
Colette

[Virginia]

HI Colette,
Well said, honey! If we love ourselves then we can make it work and I would hazard a guess that all our sisters here have been in the situation of asking ourselves ="Is the fact that I am a crossdresser causing former 'friends' to shun me?" Well then they were not your friends to begin with. Remember the story, that " A friend will come to jail and bail you out! A true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying, "damn that was fun!"
Keep the faith ladies, the trip is well worth it!!!
Virginia