I was originally going to post this under another heading with all the other shopping posts, but it didn't seem to fit. I find grocery shopping enfemme to be very enjoyable.
It's a safe place to be. You have a lot of up-close contact with people, but very little talking. I get to practice being comfortable moving around as a woman, while still getting somethng very practical done.
I've gotten better at talking once I reach the checkout counter, too. Since I've grown my hair long and don't always use a wig, I'm more convincing now. The clerks give me the benefit of the doubt, you might say.
Grocery stores were one of the first public places I felt good about, even though in those days I was being outrageous without even knowing it. I blush even thinking about that outfit--let's just say that few people would have mistaken me for a real gal.
A
Going for the groceries!
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Anita
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Anita
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Hi Lisa, Laura, Beauty--glad the post interested you.
I just lost a reply that I'd typed out--I was trying to delete a character, hit "enter" instead, and the post just disappeared. I'll try to sum it up.
Grocery stores really are "safe." I've never had a bad incident happen in one, and there are always other people around. In the stores I go to, the clerks always ask if I need help with my bags, so even the parking lot does not have to be scary.
Going up and down the aisles gives me lots of practice in walking, holding my head up, keeping my back straight, and so on. It also gets me out of the habit of "scanning" other people to see if they're reading me or not.
Most people don't expect to see a CD doing something conventional like shopping for groceries, so they tend not to notice me. If they do, I've learned how to get that distracted look that says, "Do I need another quart of milk? Let's see, Johhny drank the last of the 2%..."
If that doesn't work, I give them the tight-lipped little smile that women do, and THEN they look away. Rikki has called this the "courtesy smile."
It says many things, but here it means, "You're annoying me--stop it."
Beauty, I usually go at night--it's just easier then. No children to deal with, for one thing. I often stop off to shop after a night out doing something else. It makes groceries enjoyable, most of the time, instead of a chore.
I'm "out" to everyone around here, so I don't worry about shopping in the neighborhood. It's also a big city, so there's lots of stores to choose from.
A
I just lost a reply that I'd typed out--I was trying to delete a character, hit "enter" instead, and the post just disappeared. I'll try to sum it up.
Grocery stores really are "safe." I've never had a bad incident happen in one, and there are always other people around. In the stores I go to, the clerks always ask if I need help with my bags, so even the parking lot does not have to be scary.
Going up and down the aisles gives me lots of practice in walking, holding my head up, keeping my back straight, and so on. It also gets me out of the habit of "scanning" other people to see if they're reading me or not.
Most people don't expect to see a CD doing something conventional like shopping for groceries, so they tend not to notice me. If they do, I've learned how to get that distracted look that says, "Do I need another quart of milk? Let's see, Johhny drank the last of the 2%..."
If that doesn't work, I give them the tight-lipped little smile that women do, and THEN they look away. Rikki has called this the "courtesy smile."
It says many things, but here it means, "You're annoying me--stop it."
Beauty, I usually go at night--it's just easier then. No children to deal with, for one thing. I often stop off to shop after a night out doing something else. It makes groceries enjoyable, most of the time, instead of a chore.
I'm "out" to everyone around here, so I don't worry about shopping in the neighborhood. It's also a big city, so there's lots of stores to choose from.
A
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Allena
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Very nice idea there!
I wonder if right after the hour kids are supposed to be in school, would be a good time also.
Most men would probably be at work, but perhaps there would be more Mom's then doing the daily shopping?
You've got me interested now, I'll have to keep my eyes open when I'm in the grocery store.
It'll be some time (as in years perhaps?) before I venture out dressed in my local area (four small towns 10-15 miles apart).
What about the best time for a Mall?
I wonder if right after the hour kids are supposed to be in school, would be a good time also.
Most men would probably be at work, but perhaps there would be more Mom's then doing the daily shopping?
You've got me interested now, I'll have to keep my eyes open when I'm in the grocery store.
It'll be some time (as in years perhaps?) before I venture out dressed in my local area (four small towns 10-15 miles apart).
What about the best time for a Mall?
Allena... finally free!
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Beauty
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Anita
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Allen, I would think you would blend right in on a morning trip. At the same time, preschool children will be there with their mothers, so you have to expect that at least one might blurt out, "Mommy, that's a BOY"
I've found that the mother gets more embarrassed by this than I do. and I try to make her feel OK. The one time that happened to me, I said, "Oh, this is part of my job sometimes," said with a big smile. (Which is true, since I play music as Anita.) The main thing was to let the parent know that I'm used to this and it's no big deal. By convincing HER, I'm also reinforcing that belief inside me.
The mall doesn't seem as inviting to me. I've been to some, but it takes more energy on my part to go there. I've got to really be "up" to deal with it. It can get pretty rowdy, around here. Beauty was talking about her time out on the street in another post, and I get some "hey baby!" stuff out on the street, too. But it doesn't bother me as much out there--guess I don't like that closed-in feeling at the mall.
Anita
I've found that the mother gets more embarrassed by this than I do. and I try to make her feel OK. The one time that happened to me, I said, "Oh, this is part of my job sometimes," said with a big smile. (Which is true, since I play music as Anita.) The main thing was to let the parent know that I'm used to this and it's no big deal. By convincing HER, I'm also reinforcing that belief inside me.
The mall doesn't seem as inviting to me. I've been to some, but it takes more energy on my part to go there. I've got to really be "up" to deal with it. It can get pretty rowdy, around here. Beauty was talking about her time out on the street in another post, and I get some "hey baby!" stuff out on the street, too. But it doesn't bother me as much out there--guess I don't like that closed-in feeling at the mall.
Anita
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Cyndee
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Grocery shopping
While most dont consider it fun and i dont particularly either, I feel grocery shopping is more in the realm of challenge.
Ive done it during the day What it realy does is for me is to push the envelope and "blend " in and really function and test your feminie skills
Its tru many many may not notice but nevertheless it is a challenge.
For me shoping for clothes is far more FUN or window shoping at a mall is where it s at as one can look at all the new fashion and when the spirit moves try on the new things.
My recommendation about going out to food shop en feme is more for the "advanced" or daring souls or those that are taking seroius steps toward spending more time presentinting as a woman.
I am still of the belief if one wants to test how far they think the will want to go as being a "woman" a week or 2 full time doing everything en femme would be a great test.
Cyndee
Ive done it during the day What it realy does is for me is to push the envelope and "blend " in and really function and test your feminie skills
Its tru many many may not notice but nevertheless it is a challenge.
For me shoping for clothes is far more FUN or window shoping at a mall is where it s at as one can look at all the new fashion and when the spirit moves try on the new things.
My recommendation about going out to food shop en feme is more for the "advanced" or daring souls or those that are taking seroius steps toward spending more time presentinting as a woman.
I am still of the belief if one wants to test how far they think the will want to go as being a "woman" a week or 2 full time doing everything en femme would be a great test.
Cyndee
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Geena
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I know exactly what you mean Anita. I go everywhere enfemme, and I love it. In a way, going out in the day time running errands or shopping, is more fun for me than going to a dance club. But, I do go dancing quite a bit too 
Hugzzz,
Geena
Hugzzz,
Geena
You've got to believe in yourself, or no one will believe in you.
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Virginia
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shopping
Grocery shopping huh?? WEll with these new auto check out and no clerk to deal with could be interesting. I like the afternoon movie matinee, because you can park as far away or as close to the theater as you like so you can ""practice" your walk, properly carrying your purse, you usually only have to deal with the box office and that is through a glass window. Inside you get to do the girl thing of sitting, crossing your legs, and you can check out those around you. The partially dark theater can hide some flaws (if you have some) The exit is just as easy as you usually have several options, going with the crowd or waiting until most have left, then the walk to the car. I had one lady sit right next to me during "Cold Mountain." HOpe she did not gag on my "White Diamonds" perfume. One guy with his family helped me take my coat off and said"here honey!" and placed it on the seat between us. That's the same movie that as I was walking out carrying my coat an older lady called me a "slut." I was conservatively dressed too, knee length gray skirt and red silk blouse and 3" heels. I attriburte it to my blonde locks!! Ha ha. Thanks and I think I will try the grocery store too! Love ya, Deborah
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Anita
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Well, these posts are three very interesting takes on the subject!
As I read your post, Cyndee, I could see it through your eyes. I suppose it can be seen as more of a challenge than department store shopping. There is a lot more contact with other people at a grocery store.
But for some reason, it felt more comfortable to me right from the start. In department stores, there's the dressing room challenges, the women who wonder what you're doing in the women's section, and the rowdy teenagers hanging out at the mall.
Don't get me wrong--I can have fun shopping for clothes, too, but for me it takes more energy for me to deal with that. Food shopping is more neutral--there's no gender-divided sections to the store. And for whatever reason, I don't seem to get noticed as much, even though it's more close-up and crowded.
Virginia, I have had some good times at the movies, but I don't find myself wanting to do that. I think it comes back to what feels "safe." I feel very protected in the grocery store--lots of people around, and no long walk to the car at night. Of course, a lot of cinema complexes have their own parking lots that are close, too. But I think it comes back to not trusting teenagers and groups of young men, and those are the people that I'm dealing with when I go to a movie.
Then I see that I feel comfortable around biker bars and clubs, and it doesn't make sense on first glance. But I understand adults better than I do teens, and I've played lots of clubs as a guy. I just know how to handle those situations better, I guess, even though they could potentially be dangerous to us.
I'm glad that you enjoy all the various outings, Geena, and I can of course identify with liking to go out dancing. That's lots of fun, especially at a TG bar. I've found that lesbian bars can be fun, too, although I haven't learned how to be able to blend in well enough to ask girls to dance. But no one seems upset that I'm there, either.
It's a lot more tolerant at a lesbian bar than a men's gay bar, seems to me. I won't get hassled at a gay bar, but I don't feel as welcome. There was one bar where they told me they don't put the drag show on the calender--it just "happens" every Sunday night, but they don't want to publicize it, because it upsets some of the regulars. We have a long way to go in winning some acceptance, but at least we're out there!
Anita
As I read your post, Cyndee, I could see it through your eyes. I suppose it can be seen as more of a challenge than department store shopping. There is a lot more contact with other people at a grocery store.
But for some reason, it felt more comfortable to me right from the start. In department stores, there's the dressing room challenges, the women who wonder what you're doing in the women's section, and the rowdy teenagers hanging out at the mall.
Don't get me wrong--I can have fun shopping for clothes, too, but for me it takes more energy for me to deal with that. Food shopping is more neutral--there's no gender-divided sections to the store. And for whatever reason, I don't seem to get noticed as much, even though it's more close-up and crowded.
Virginia, I have had some good times at the movies, but I don't find myself wanting to do that. I think it comes back to what feels "safe." I feel very protected in the grocery store--lots of people around, and no long walk to the car at night. Of course, a lot of cinema complexes have their own parking lots that are close, too. But I think it comes back to not trusting teenagers and groups of young men, and those are the people that I'm dealing with when I go to a movie.
Then I see that I feel comfortable around biker bars and clubs, and it doesn't make sense on first glance. But I understand adults better than I do teens, and I've played lots of clubs as a guy. I just know how to handle those situations better, I guess, even though they could potentially be dangerous to us.
I'm glad that you enjoy all the various outings, Geena, and I can of course identify with liking to go out dancing. That's lots of fun, especially at a TG bar. I've found that lesbian bars can be fun, too, although I haven't learned how to be able to blend in well enough to ask girls to dance. But no one seems upset that I'm there, either.
It's a lot more tolerant at a lesbian bar than a men's gay bar, seems to me. I won't get hassled at a gay bar, but I don't feel as welcome. There was one bar where they told me they don't put the drag show on the calender--it just "happens" every Sunday night, but they don't want to publicize it, because it upsets some of the regulars. We have a long way to go in winning some acceptance, but at least we're out there!
Anita
Last edited by Anita on Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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RikkiOfLA
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Early on in my crossdressing "career", my wife and I had gotten to that awkward point. I was wanting to dress more than she was comfortable with. We thought about it, and she realized that one of the things she was uncomfortable with was that when I dressed, I only wanted to go out to dinner or to a club. Expensive and she doesn't really like nightclubs that much.
She also realized that Rikki was artificial--all party girl, and no real life. If I only did fun things dressed, of course I would get the idea that crossdressing was a lot of fun.
So we decided that Rikki should do "real" things too--like going to the grocery store. So I started.
One word of warning though: If you get to like grocery shopping and things like that en femme, your life may become too enjoyable
and you may be headed toward living more and more of your life as a woman.
She also realized that Rikki was artificial--all party girl, and no real life. If I only did fun things dressed, of course I would get the idea that crossdressing was a lot of fun.
So we decided that Rikki should do "real" things too--like going to the grocery store. So I started.
One word of warning though: If you get to like grocery shopping and things like that en femme, your life may become too enjoyable
and you may be headed toward living more and more of your life as a woman.
Love and respect,
Rikki
Rikki
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Cindy Barnes
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Great subject !
I enjoy grocery shopping in drab as well, sort of use it as a fashon lesson,, watching what the women are wearing shoes, purses, ect..
Never been to a store in girl mode, but have done the resturaunts and clubs, always with a group,and always at TG friendly places
We have a Super Walmart being built very close to home here, and I have made myself the promise to go on a Saturday morning as soon as its finished. Most of my outfits are casual, and have been realy watching and buying things that hopefully will help me "blend" Im not even worried about buying anything, just the feeling of shopping in girl mode should be great !
Cindy
I enjoy grocery shopping in drab as well, sort of use it as a fashon lesson,, watching what the women are wearing shoes, purses, ect..
Never been to a store in girl mode, but have done the resturaunts and clubs, always with a group,and always at TG friendly places
We have a Super Walmart being built very close to home here, and I have made myself the promise to go on a Saturday morning as soon as its finished. Most of my outfits are casual, and have been realy watching and buying things that hopefully will help me "blend" Im not even worried about buying anything, just the feeling of shopping in girl mode should be great !
Cindy
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Anita
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Hi Rikki and Cindy--
I had meant to come back here and post again, and never got around to it--'till now, anyway.
Rikki, you're right, it's less effort for me to be a woman, out doing these chores. All the effort comes in make-up and dressing, and I've gotten a lot faster at that. I do Anita-lite; not much make-up, a lighter beard cover, and I have long enough hair that I can go without a wig. Dress pants, simple blouse and flats, and I'm out the door. Oh, I have to remember the earrings--I need all the "girl" cues I can get when I'm dressed simply.
But there's much less effort in dealing with other people. I'm consciously bringing that into my male life now, but some things just don't translate well across gender lines.
Cindy, I do hope you keep your promise to self and go to that Walmart. Your picture suggests that you'll fit in fine, and have fun. The one Walmart in our area is where I saw a T-girl pull up and go into the store while I was sitting in my car. (Male-me, that is.)
I watched her go back and forth, and no one seemed to notice her. She was dressed a little too young, and had heels on, but she wore all of it well. The guard at the door stared at her after she had departed, but I couldn't tell if it was because he read her, or he was just captivated. She was very nice to look at!
Anita
I had meant to come back here and post again, and never got around to it--'till now, anyway.
Rikki, you're right, it's less effort for me to be a woman, out doing these chores. All the effort comes in make-up and dressing, and I've gotten a lot faster at that. I do Anita-lite; not much make-up, a lighter beard cover, and I have long enough hair that I can go without a wig. Dress pants, simple blouse and flats, and I'm out the door. Oh, I have to remember the earrings--I need all the "girl" cues I can get when I'm dressed simply.
But there's much less effort in dealing with other people. I'm consciously bringing that into my male life now, but some things just don't translate well across gender lines.
Cindy, I do hope you keep your promise to self and go to that Walmart. Your picture suggests that you'll fit in fine, and have fun. The one Walmart in our area is where I saw a T-girl pull up and go into the store while I was sitting in my car. (Male-me, that is.)
I watched her go back and forth, and no one seemed to notice her. She was dressed a little too young, and had heels on, but she wore all of it well. The guard at the door stared at her after she had departed, but I couldn't tell if it was because he read her, or he was just captivated. She was very nice to look at!
Anita